And it's Murphy and Stanley's FFHT time again. As usual, this month's phrase is highlighted in red.
Once upon a time, on a Thursday evening last month, Gail came home from work, gave me the customary head scratch and cheerfully asked:
"Well Bertie my dear wee chappie, do you want the Good News or the Bad News?".
Then, of course, she proceeded to give me both.
So the bad news was that Gail had to go into the office the next day, Friday, her usual day off. But the good news, she said, was that I was, "just this once" invited to accompany her.
Good news? British understatement there I think. I was so excited my tail started wagging back and forth like a nodding donkey on speed.
Gail tried to calm me down by following up with a lengthy and tedious list of the do's and don'ts of office etiquette for dogs.
Do keep out of people's way; don't bark; don't lick or nibble anyone's ankles; don't go rummaging in handbags; don't get under anyone's feet and trip them up; don't try jumping on desks; don't chew any cables; should anyone stop to give you a pat, do just sit there quietly and look appreciative.
Well I have to say all this was a little disappointing. I had secretly been hoping that Gail's colleagues, knowing about my role as Boffin to Blogville, had asked me in to solve some hitherto intractable technical problem relating to finding oil in the North Sea. Heaven knows, the petroleum industry in this part of the world is in need of some fresh ideas just now.
So I entered Gail's office, bright eyed and bushy tailed as any new recruit, all prepared to play my part but you know what?
EVERYONE IGNORED ME!
There was I, head bursting with ideas on how to sniff out the North Sea's remaining oil reserves, happy to advise on gas production issues, ready to assist with any necessary excavation work, all set to help the marketing department by sharing my social media expertise, etc. etc.
BUT NO-ONE TOOK ANY NOTICE!
I had the distinct impression these experienced and highly educated professionals from all over the world* somehow doubted my credentials. More fool them.
So after a while I got bored and wandered off. Fortunately I ran into Gail's boss, who made a big fuss of me and even took me for a little walk outside. I'll be honest with you, I was a bit wary of this lady at first, recalling how it was on her recommendation that I had Rescue Remedy squirted up my nose prior to boarding a train a couple of years ago. But I've decided to forgive her role in that unfortunate incident.
I'm pleased to report that after a few hours Gail announced we were done for the day and she took me for a nice stroll along the River Dee behind the office.
And, my friends, that was the first time I ever visited Gail's current workplace.
*Pictured hard at work are Hamed and Mehdi from Iran and Henk from Holland. Yes you've guessed it, Henk's the tall one.