|My sweetheart Addi|
Addi and the Pies
Oh I was so excited. Gail had bought me a first class plane ticket to Illinois so I could visit my sweetheart Addi for Halloween.
Before I left, I had, of course, to buy Addi a present. I thought she might like something British. And meaty. What could be better than a steak and kidney pie?
So I persuaded Gail to take me to the pie shop. In the window, they had a special seasonal display of pumpkin pies. "Why not buy one of those for Addi," asked Gail, "after all she is American and they like that sort of thing".
But I was confident in my original idea, and strode on past, making a beeline for the steak and kidney pie shelf.
Gail still seemed worried.
"I do think you're taking a risk there Bertie. In my family we like offal, but girls can be a little sniffy about kidney and suchlike".
"Not my Addi," I proclaimed as I made my pie selection.
How wrong I was.
Really, I don't want to dwell on what happened upon my arrival in Illinois.
Addi was there to greet me at the airport. I could tell by the bead of slobber dangling from her magnificent jaw that she was expecting something truly awesome. With a flourish, I handed her the box containing the steak and kidney pie.
And her reaction?
"Bertie, what on earth is this? Oh yuck it's kidney! Eeeew. I mean kidney is JUST SO DISGUSTING. EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. And were you not aware that I had turned vegetarian? Don't you EVER read my peemails? The only sort of pie I like these days is pumpkin pie. If you had any imagination, that's what you would have bought me. Oh I am so disappointed, I really don't think this relationship can continue. I am going in search of a dog with better taste in pies."
And off she flounced.
Well my friends, as you can imagine, after that I never turned my back on another pumpkin pie.