Thursday, 23 July 2015

Quantity Time

A Protest Addressed to Gail

I don’t buy your line about ‘Quality Time’
I want it in quantity; I want it now!
Forget about work. Cut loose, go beserk,
Tell the boss you’ve a dog, who needs you, and how!

I want you to stay right beside me all day
On the sofa, the bed or the chair.
I can curl on your lap, maybe take a wee nap,
You can do what you like, I just want you here.

It doesn’t seem right that it’s only at night
We’re together. How cruel that you go
To the office at dawn, only late to return,
And bored I sit waiting and watching for you.

PS from Gail: concerned readers, please be aware that Bertie is exaggerating here for dramatic or poetic effect. I only work a four day week, rarely stay late at the office and he is anyway variously entertained by his dog walker and a kind neighbour in my absence.


  1. Hey, it are all dat office stuff dat earns money for da treats.

  2. Bertie being a drama queen... I can't believe it. Good to hear that he has some daytime company. A lot of poor dogs don't. One of life's ironies is that now we are at the house all day we don't have a dog!

  3. Yeah....but it still seems like a LONG time to be NEGLECTED! More treats and longer walks on the weekends....Bertie!

  4. I nose what you mean Bertie....after my wonderful TOWER holiday Mum has gone back to work and is neglecting me AGAIN!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

  5. MOL MOL Bertie I think your beloved Gail is calling you a Drama King!!!
    I can assure you my peeps are here nearly 24/7. I'm often neglected and starving and bored...too. Sometimes I have to get in mom's face to read her the riot act
    Hugs madi your bfff

  6. Bertie:
    We have the best deal here. Muzzer is "retired" and Dad is not. But they are awfully old, and Muzzer is getting slower on the trail every hike. BUT...we have been with them for more than 10 years and it has been a lot of hard work to get them to this point.

    We think Whitley W. has the real answer. Gotta respct what the humans do to keep us in Kibble

  7. great poem, Im sure my pups all agree
    retro rover

  8. you gotta remember that to a dog - a minute is an hour, an hour is a day, a day is week and week is a month - at least that is what the boys tell me :) :)

  9. Hari OM
    Keep at her Bertie... all those other interventions are JUST NOT GAIL.... (ahem)... not taking sides or anything.. Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

    ps to Gail; Jade used the same tactics on me. It's a hard one...

  10. Ditto! You tell her Bertie and tell this woman too while your at it
    Lily & Edward

  11. We would ask for an increase in treats and extra evening and weekend hikes to compensate!!
    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

  12. BUTT a minute away from mom feels like furever!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  13. Oh Bertie...Gail totally undermined your poetic attempts at more getting more attention. You need to keep a closer eye on her.
    Wally & Sammy

  14. you have a super paw for poetry... I just imagined you would perform that poem in front of all bosses of the world... I bet they would offer more doggy-time for all doggie-moms while wiping their tears away. Iwish we would live closer, so you could spend that time with me, boy that would be funny hehehe
    easy rider

  15. Bertie - The alternative is being outside in an Aberdeen summer.

  16. Bertie, I feel your pain assistant also abandons me for that awful place called the office. Stay strong, my friend