So first I want to thank all of you who took the time to apply for the post. Gail and I feel quite overwhelmed. I mean some of you wrote whole essays.
But what a problem this created. How on earth was I to choose?
Now I have to tell you, I was all for accepting each and every one of the applicants, they all sounded so wonderful. I mean, if wee Prince George can have seven godparents, then fifteen or so is surely not too many for a bouncy wire-haired fox terrier?
But Gail said no, that would be greedy. She also vetoed my suggestion that word count should be the deciding factor in the application (sorry Aunty Yam), and likewise number or variety of treats promised.
Well we were getting nowhere, so I suggested a walk, the best way to clear one's head when difficult decisions are to be made.
As we sauntered along by the River Dee, casting the occasional anxious glance at the clouds gathering to the west, Gail was bending my ear (although it is flappy enough already).
"Bertie, I've been thinking carefully about this
I could tell she had more to say.
"Now Bertie I'm going to be serious for a minute. You know that my Swiss godmother Doris died back in the summer? Well she had reached the age of ninety and had been very ill, so it wasn't unexpected but I was sad all the same. You see, Doris was all that one could ever hope for in a godmother and much more. I'll never forget when I went to visit her at a bad time in my life and she made me feel loved and valued again. To me, the words 'Swiss' and 'godmother' go together like, well, like 'Bertie' and 'bouncing'. So, wouldn't it be nice for you too to have godparents who lived in Switzerland? And I do think that your (bi)continental dachshund friend Tootsie put forward a particularly compelling case in her application, don't you? And did you see the photos of the Alpine hike she described earlier this week? Awesome, wasn't it? Oh yes, I'm sure Tootsie could be such a good influence in your life. She is known as a savvy sausage after all. So can we invite her and her Mom and Dachshund Daddy to be your godparents? Please Bertie. Please. I'm sure we can overlook those moths in DD's wallet..."
And then Gail tried to put on a pleading expression, looked into my eyes and even, if I am not mistaken, tilted her head to one side for extra effect.
Well how could I say no?
Oh I do hope Tootsie and her family will accept.