May I introduce myself as Bouncing Bertie Boffin, recently reconfirmed in the post of Director of Scientific Studies for Blogville.
Today I am reporting on the results of my very important investigations concerning the pee-holding abilities of my fellow citizens.
First all I want to say a big Thank You to those who contributed such valuable data, without which none of this work would have been possible.
As you may remember, it all came about after my journey back from Switzerland, where I lasted for 17 hours on the ferry back to Newcastle before I decided I really did need to release the pressure on my bladder. And I wondered how, in similar circumstances, my friends might fare
To put this study on a proper scientific footing, I formulated three, no actually four, hypotheses that I wanted to test. There were:
1. That bigger dogs would be able to go for longer than smaller dogs before needing a pee.
2. That middle aged dogs would do better than the very young and the very old
3. That female dogs would hold it in longer than male dogs as they have less apparent need to decorate lampposts and trees etc.
4. In all circumstances, that dogs would be able to hold out far longer than their human carers.
Before moving onto the detailed data analysis, I should first address issues relating to my methodology.
A certain person (i.e. Gail) has suggested that my sampling may be flawed in that several of those who answered interpreted my question as an open invitation to boast about their own bladder capacity, or even (yes that would be you Wyatt
) to exaggerate the weaknesses of irritating younger siblings, thus skewing the data. To which I answer, how dare she impugn the integrity of my fellow Blogville citizens!
On the subject of admissible data, I did agonize long and hard about whether the information submitted by the only non-canine participant, should be included. To circumvent any difficulties, I decided (for the purposes of this study only) to treat a certain Diva and Former Mayoress Madi
, as an honorary dog. I trust this is acceptable to all.
OK, so on to the data, which I have presented in the table below. Please note that a few dogs seemed reluctant to disclose their weight - Dory's gang
guilty here - and in these cases (highlighted in the table) I either used an average weight for the breed, as provided by Wikipedia, or made an educated guess based on photographic evidence.
For my first hypothesis, as you can see from the following graph, there is a weak correlation (R-squared = 0.16) between size (measured in terms of weight in kg) and time before needing a pee. I am sure that dog owners will in future use the equation presented on the graph to calculate how long a particular pup not included in this study might be expected to 'hold it in'.
As for the effect of age, you will see below that I have matched the data to a polynomial curve which totally convincingly confirms my theory that pee-holding ability reaches an apex in the middle years of life. This is also supported by the anecdotal evidence you provided, especially on the topic of embarrassing 'leakage' in extreme old age.
To test for the gender difference I analysed the data using the appropriate statistical test (student's t-test) and found, somewhat unexpectedly, there was no significant difference between the males and females who took part in this study. Maybe that whole 'dogs are from Mars and bitches from Venus' thing is the pile of tosh that some of us have always suspected...
My fourth finding is perhaps the most important. Although I did not specifically ask for data relating to humans, several of you volunteered evidence on this topic anyway. (In some cases, might I say, we perhaps had a little too much information, although I personally do sympathise with that fact that Sarge
suffers disturbed nights due to excessive toilet flushing...) Anyway, the message comes through loud and clear.
Us dogs can, on average, go 13.7 hours before we need a pee, and our humans cannot even begin to compete.
Finally, I note that the amazing data you provided has suggested further lines of enquiry, and I am now hoping to secure a major financial award (or the equivalent in treats) to pursue the two following questions:
- Several of you including, Petite-Chose and Inca, Bella Roxy and Macdui, Cobi and Otto, mentioned that your retention time increases significantly when you are faced with going out in the rain, especially thunderstorms. This naturally make one want to investigate the impact of future climate change on the strength of dogs' bladders.
- Location also seems to be important (Gus, Trilby, Macy Blue and Tootsie) and I was particularly interested in Gus's reluctance to 'release' in New Mexico, Texas and part of Louisiana. I would like to test the hypothesis that the ability to wait before peeing may, in the USA, vary according to the state, and that in extreme cases, dog owners may have had to relocate because of this.
So those are my results of my research. I am confident that this novel and important study merits the award of a Pee-hD degree. And of course I am happy to answer any questions arising from any of the work presented here.