"Oh I think Bertie needs a walk...."

Believe it or not, I, Bouncing Bertie, have at times in the past come under criticism from my owner Gail, for acting too supine.

Humans are strange creatures aren't they? They insist on crowding together at Christmas, eating and drinking too much, all in the name of seasonal good cheer, and then instead of lapping it all up, certain of them start looking for excuses to escape for a while.

It seems that there have been occasions during Christmases past when Gail has uttered the words  "I think Bertie needs a walk" to general incredulity as I lie snoring quietly in front of the fire.

Well I'm pleased to report that this year I delivered on my side of the bargain in full.

Christmas dinner at Gail's brother's Peak District house had been a drawn out affair, with me, along with my poodle cousins Percy (he' s huge you know) and Coco excluded from the dining room.

Just as Gail was scraping the bottom of her bowl of Christmas pudding and rum sauce, and wondering if there was a slow eating contest she could enter Human Granny for (to assured success) I decided to vocalise my dissatisfaction at the general state of affairs.

Some people tell me my bark is surprisingly high pitched and piercing. And insistent.

But I am sure I was not mistaken in detecting a note of relief in Gail's voice when she was able to say, without eliciting raised eyebrows and knowing glances around the table:

"Oh look it'll be dark soon and Bertie is getting restless. I really do need to take him for a good walk before driving HGY back to Nottingham..."

Gail tells me you will want to see a picture of me somewhat reluctantly posing with Coco, HGY and the two grandchildren before we left on Christmas Day. So here it is.

PS in case you are wondering, Gail did buy me a wee Christmas present, and I now know that goose tendon treats are utterly delicious.

Pub lunch with Human Granny

Do birthday treats get any better?

Home is where the heart is

So on the way back from Nottingham to Aberdeen we stayed overnight in 'The White House' - no not THAT one, rather, a modest guest house just outside Penrith. I'm sorry to report that the proprietor failed to recognise my status and so did not upgrade us from their  'too small to swing a cat' single bedroom this time.

There were signs aplenty of recent floods all round Cumbria and SW Scotland, but at least my favourite walk in the lovely little border town of Moffat was dry(ish).

I had been hoping for a nice hill walk in Aberdeenshire today, but for once will concede that Gail was right in decreeing a short stroll around the park to be sufficient, given the weather.

So instead, Gail and I are snuggled up together on the recliner, reading some old letters found in Human Granny's now empty house.

I want to show you a couple of snippets. Gail warns me they won't be as interesting to our readers as they are to us, but I'm going to post them anyway. If your eyes are good, and you click on the images to enlarge, you may even be able to read them.

Both letters, for different reasons, might bring a tear to your eye.

Here's one from Gail's maternal grandfather, to her mother (aka Human Granny, then aged 15), written when he was on active service for the RAF in Egypt at the end of WW2, but describing a trip to Palestine:

And here is one written by Human Grandad to Human Granny in 1955, just a couple of weeks before they became formally engaged. He is away at a work-related conference in Eastbourne, and missing her very much:

HGY update + interesting fact about Nottingham!

It is very tedious that us pups are not allowed inside hospitals, so I haven't been able to check out for myself how things are with Human Granny.

However, Gail has been visiting every day and tells me that HGY is much better than a week ago and the doctors are thrilled with her progress, although she is still unable to walk.

Yesterday HGY had an MRI scan, which was 'clear'. She is receiving treatment for a suspected infection of the brain - viral encephalitis.

I feel duty bound, in my scientific adviser role, to point out that the technology behind the MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) technique was developed here at Nottingham University by physicist Sir Peter Mansfield who, along with the American chemist Paul Lauterbur, won the 2003 Nobel Prize for Physiology or Medicine for his pioneering work.

I wonder if my readers can name any other famous Nottinghamians (aside, of course, from the Sheriff!)

A plea to the badgers of Cragmoor Road

No need to prove it Mr Brock,
That you are strong is clear.
I see you rolled aside this rock
And dug under the hedge right here.

You black and white guys with the good PR,
Wise Friend to Ratty, Mole and Mister Toad,
Admired by wildlife lovers near and far,
Though not the folk who live on Cragmoor Road,

Have you a notion what distress
These night time raids cause? So much damage done
By scratching up the grass, as if
You sought first prize in excavation?

For decades my beloved HGD
Nurtured his back lawn with tender care.
Now Human Granny worries night and day
That his hard work is wasted, and despairs.

So Mister Badger I am begging you,
Go dig your worms on someone else’s lawn.
It is so sad. Dear Human Granny, who
Cared long and lovingly for HGD with all her strength,
Feels she has let him down now he is gone.

Scots not welcome...?

So I went exploring Human Grandad's nursing home, and inspected the decor.

Book lovers might feel at at ease here...

But one would be concerned about any Scottish residents with high blood pressure*.


After checking up on HGD's new place, I went back to see how Human Granny was getting on. She looked a bit lonely, sat by herself at the dinner table, so I kept her company for a while.

And yes, this is the lace tablecloth of the famous 'Hamish and the scones' incident...

*Explanatory note from Gail: The enlarged black and white photo on the wall of Dad's nursing home will be familiar to UK based readers. It is the England football team celebrating their football World Cup victory in 1966, an iconic image for any English football fan alive in the 1960s. It is less popular in Scotland....

Bertie the good sport

I am just back from a busy few days in Nottingham, visiting the human grandparents and making myself available for frequent cuddles.

We travelled by train and I was as good as gold. Yes really.

Readers should know that the Friday 9:52 a.m. East Coast train from Aberdeen is, unofficially, the Stag and Hen Party Express.

What fun!

So many jolly, lively and not at all drunk folk on board to keep Gail and I entertained as we sped south.

Newcastle was the main destination for these party people. For some reason* Gail was holding me very tight as we watched them disembarking...

....and she breathed a big sigh of relief as the train pulled out of the station. 

*Click here to read about the earlier 'Newcastle Station Incident'.

A new place to explore / Not all about me?

So Human Grandad is staying in a new home. I am told it is a 'care home' Well I am pleased to report that as far as I can tell, the care is really splendid.

For dogs anyway.

You should have seen the admiring glances I drew as I paraded down the corridor with Gail and HGY when I first went to visit. It was a hot day and we sniffed out HGD basking in the courtyard. No soon as I'd licked his hand in greeting than a nice lady rushed out with a pink plastic bowl of water, specially for me. I am often a bit cautious about drinking from strange bowls, and I am not (says Gail) an especially thirsty dog anyway, so I decided not to partake of the proffered beverage, being more interested in watching a ginger cat I'd seen stalking in the nearby shrubs. Within a minute, a different lady rushed out with a bigger container full of water, saying she quite understood I wouldn't want to drink from the cat's bowl.  This one did look more inviting so I decided to humour her and take a few sips.

Later we took HGD back into the sitting room, where the other residents didn't look very animated. At least not until I walked in, when at least three hands reached out to give me a pat, and several craggy faces broke into smiles. Now I'm not always keen on random people touching  me on the head, but with Gail's encouragement, I allowed them all to stroke my ears, and didn't bounce too much. It seemed the right thing to do.

We said goodbye to HGD and Gail took me for a long walk. Oh yes I had a fine old time exploring ancient tracks through woods and across fields in the East Nottinghamshire countryside.

So all in all, a most satisfactory day, from my perspective.

But, well, you know how us pups can sense certain things? As I sat on the sofa besides Gail later in the evening, I could tell she wasn't quite so happy with the new state of affairs. "Bertie", she said eventually, "you just have to remember it's not all about you".

I decided to snuggle up closer.

Bertie shows the way

So we have been down in Nottingham staying with HGD and HGY for a few days.

Really, I have no idea why Gail finds these visits to her parents so stressful....

My very important Christmas role

So here I am cheering up Human Grandad (HGD).

He had been feeling a bit down. You see, while Human Granny (HGY) is now so clever on the computer that she no longer even needs me to supervise...

...HGD finds anything modern terribly confusing, and that upsets him and makes him anxious.

So anyway, I asked him about some of the interesting things he had done in the past, and suddenly he relaxed. I found out that of course HGD still knows lots of good stuff. Gail only had to prompt him a few times when he couldn't remember the words. He told me about how to fly a Mosquito across the North Sea to Norway, to fire rockets on German shipping (a valuable skill in 1944!) He also told me how to discover new and useful substances. (When HGD was a research scientist in the 1950s he apparently patented a chemical for dipping sheep in to prevent disease.)


Well now, all this morale boosting is important but tiring work.


OK, that's enough break time. HGD needs me again. I have to go.

Well I have lots more I could be telling you, like about yesterday's visit from my poodle cousin Izzy (she of the lovely pom-pom tail, for those of you with long memories) and her new brother, Percy 'Fat Boy' poodle.




Gail says I was "surprisingly well-behaved" during their visit. A back-handed compliment if ever I heard one.

Oh, if only there were more time. I have been so missing my blogging pals.