Heidi or Ursli?

With regret, I am coming to the conclusion that our imminent trip to Switzerland is making Gail go a bit funny in the head. Over-excitement can do that to a grown woman, I believe.

Apparently, at six and a half years old, I am now exactly the same age as Gail was when she first went to stay with her godmother Doris in Luzern.

On that rather flimsy pretext, Gail decided last night to read to me from the books Doris gave her on that first Swiss holiday.

You have to humour them sometimes, don't you? 

We started with 'Heidi'.

Well, this Heidi, also six years old, is a cute little Swiss girl, and she prefers mountains to towns, which I guess is something in her favour. But really. Heidi?! It's a girl's book, isn't it? What else do you have there Gail? 

So Gail sighs, mutters something about insidious gender stereotyping even influencing dogs' taste in classic children's literature, and reaches for 'A Bell for Ursli'.

Now that's more like it!

This Ursli fellow has some excellent adventures, of the sort I am hoping for in October. Maybe I shall get a chance to cross a perilous bridge?

Or run up and down a snowy mountain and dive through the window of an Alpine chalet?

Well I am beginning to understand why Gail is getting so excited.

Is it really still three weeks before we leave?

Godparent decision (involving an element of emotional blackmail)

Oh my gosh I had NO IDEA that I had so many lovely friends out there who would volunteer to be my godparent.

So first I want to thank all of you who took the time to apply for the post. Gail and I feel quite overwhelmed. I mean some of you wrote whole essays.

But what a problem this created. How on earth was I to choose?

Now I have to tell you, I was all for accepting each and every one of the applicants, they all sounded so wonderful. I mean, if wee Prince George can have seven godparents, then fifteen or so is surely not too many for a bouncy wire-haired fox terrier?

But Gail said no, that would be greedy. She also vetoed my suggestion that word count should be the deciding factor in the application (sorry Aunty Yam), and likewise number or variety of treats promised.

Well we were getting nowhere, so I suggested a walk, the best way to clear one's head when difficult decisions are to be made.

As we sauntered along by the River Dee, casting the occasional anxious glance at the clouds gathering to the west, Gail was bending my ear (although it is flappy enough already).

"Bertie, I've been thinking carefully about this doggodparent business. I know you have several lovely American friends who applied for the post, but realistically, I don't think I'll be taking you on a transatlantic flight any time soon. As much as I would love to have an excuse to visit Colorado, or Virginia, or Oklahoma, or North Carolina, or Massachusetts, Minnesota, or Illinois, or Florida, I think it would be better to select someone on this side of the Pond. Don't you agree?"

I could tell she had more to say.

"Now Bertie I'm going to be serious for a minute. You know that my Swiss godmother Doris died back in the summer? Well she had reached the age of ninety and had been very ill, so it wasn't unexpected but I was sad all the same. You see, Doris was all that one could ever hope for in a godmother and much more. I'll never forget when I went to visit her at a bad time in my life and she made me feel loved and valued again. To me, the words 'Swiss' and 'godmother' go together like, well, like 'Bertie' and 'bouncing'. So, wouldn't it be nice for you too to have godparents who lived in Switzerland? And I do think that your (bi)continental dachshund friend Tootsie put forward a particularly compelling case in her application, don't you? And did you see the photos of the Alpine hike she described earlier this week? Awesome, wasn't it? Oh yes, I'm sure Tootsie could be such a good influence in your life. She is known as a savvy sausage after all.  So can we invite her and her Mom and Dachshund Daddy  to be your godparents? Please Bertie. Please. I'm sure we can overlook those moths in DD's wallet..."

And then Gail tried to put on a pleading expression, looked into my eyes and even, if I am not mistaken, tilted her head to one side for extra effect.

Well how could I say no?

Oh I do hope Tootsie and her family will accept.

Wanted - some dog/godparents!

I expect you saw in the papers the photos of Prince George's christening earlier in the week.

And were you too not struck by the generous supply of godparents awarded to the wee royal laddie?

Seven at last count.

Gail is always telling me how fortunate she was in her parents' choices of her godparents. First there was HGD's older brother, Uncle Jack. How I would have loved to visit him. A delightful man, by all accounts, the more so, surely, because he owned and ran the village butchers shop in Hartfield, Sussex. A butchers shop! Imagine! Then there was wealthy Great Aunty Dot, who lived in Leicestershire in a house with two staircases and a billiard room, and kept a poodle and an alsatian, plus various cats and horses. Thirdly, Doris in Lucerne, strong, independent-minded and generous, the lady Gail once described to a colleague as a role model (to which the colleague responded "that's a Swiss roll model then?")


Uncle Jack c.1996

Doris in 2005

So anyway, it occurred to me that never once has Gail mentioned any godparents for yours truly.

Surely it is not too late?

Perhaps some of my blog friends would like to apply for the post. In which case, let me specify some of the traits I would be looking for in a doggodparent. They should:

• Live in an attractive part of the world where dog-friendly trails are plentiful.
• Be hospitable to boisterous visitors.
• Have loads of free time and the desire to spend it with a bouncy WFT.
• Possess a moth-free wallet, and an in-depth knowledge of local pet treat suppliers.
• Be relaxed about the animals on furniture issue, bearing in mind a favourite quote from Doris. "We own the house, the house doesn't own us".
• Enjoy cuddles, laughs and adventures.

Taking a flexible approach to the 'god' aspect of godparenting, the position(s) are open to those of all religions and none, although, given my 'Blogville Boffin' status, I think I would have to draw the line at a Creationist.

Applications can be made via comments on this blog.