Woof woof! Good afternoon. Do you have time for a chin wag?
It had better be quick. Can't you see, I'm busy. I'm a working dog.
A working dog? What's that? I'm not sure I'm familiar with the concept. Can you please explain?
Have you got wool for brains, pal? It means I work for a living. Herding sheep is my profession. I can run all day over the mountainsides if required, gathering in my flock.
Gosh that sounds fun. Do you work all on your own?
No, I am part of a team. Much more efficient that way. We even have a little trainee, she's just seven weeks old.
Isn't wee Gail cute?
Er, first time I've heard my Gail described as cute! Oh you mean the puppy. How funny that she's called Gail too. And by way, I am not dumb. Pal.
All right then, keep your wiry hair on! So tell me Mister Smarty Pants, how do you earn your keep?
Um. Um. Um.
Oh come on, you must do something. Or are you one of those spoilt city types that sits around all day eating fancy food and having your nails painted?
Most certainly not. How dare you suggest such a thing. Why just this weekend, I have been in action as an explorer, a geologist, a gardening supervisor and a forestry expert....
What's more, I'm quite sure I could do your job perfectly well too, given half the chance. I've not noticed that the collies at Deeside Dog Agility Club are in any way smarter than me. I'd pick up all that "come bye" business in two shakes of a lamb's tail, no question.
If only a certain person didn't make me stay on this d****d lead whenever sheep are roaming nearby...
*Thanks to the great Rabbie Burns for inspiring this post.