Friday, 9 March 2012

Poop-gate update

King of Edinburgh Castles?

Signs of spring in the road where the human grandparents live

You know I put a lot of effort into this blog, I really do. I show you photos of all the beautiful places I visit, I pose nicely and always try to look my most endearing. I think deeply about a wide range of topics and, with Gail's help, aim to write about them in well-formed, literate prose, working hard to make my posts both educational and entertaining.

I have to tell you, this week I am wondering if it is all worthwhile.

What prompts this disillusionment? I hear you ask.

The answer is simple.

Your reaction to Monday's post.

You see, it appears that my readers are not actually that interested in pictures of me and in what I have to say. No indeed, what it takes to attract a near record number of comments, I learn, is a couple of photos of dog poop decorated with an American flag.

Surely you can see how disheartening this is? What should I show you next? Sheep droppings? A 'country pancake'? Maybe the dog waste bins in the park?

Oh. Gail (not always the world's most sympathetic person) is saying, "Bertie, just pull yourself together. When faced with life's vicissitudes, the one thing you can choose is your attitude. Don't go round being all negative. It doesn't suit you one bit. You're sounding like Mango, for heavens sake. Let's see you bounce back."

So. Gather.

I want to thank my wonderful friends for all their brilliant comments on my blog. I love each and every one of them. And let's look on the bright side. How fun that you were so interested in our little local problem! Although the dog poop is still there is the alley, and the flags are looking bedraggled after heavy rain, there has at least been no escalation of the 'conflict', so it seems that an international incident has been averted. We suspect the fact that Stars and Stripes flags were used as poop markers is not an indicator of anti-American feeling, rather a random choice. We in this household would have been far more concerned had the poop been adorned with the St George's Cross.

I hope you like the two poo-free photos at the top of this post.


  1. BB, just so you know, we truly appreciate your photographs (even though it makes my She Two Legged One want to board a plane straight back to Scotland to live! She's becomes ever so nostalgic when she looks at your photographs!), your endearing-ness and your incredibly witty and insightful prose (you should be a writer, you really should!)- your posts make us laugh and are very amusing so don't feel bad, gather the thoughts and bounce along again!


    A very hot and overwhelmed by the heat, Groucho

  2. Maybe Gail could amke you a wee hat with American flags embroidered on it ?

  3. Bertie, of course I love all of your photos. I live vicariously through your blog, since Mommy and I would like very much to visit there. We were just taken aback by the American flags and felt the need to express our concern. I am so relieved to learn that it is all behind us(so to speak) and will soon(after a few more rains)be gone and never thought of again. Please continue to share the beauty of your world and the "incident" will be...what is the right a fart in the wind.

    Loveys Sasha

  4. p.s. sorry I hope I didn't go to far with that last one,it just slipped out, I was trying to hold it in. I REALLY DO LOVE YOUR BLOG and your photos are wonderful.

    Loveys Sasha

  5. Funny how toilet humour appeals to just about everyone! Deccy x

  6. Bertie, rest assured we love looking at your photos.. Keep them coming.

    BTW did you see anything interesting in the sky last night? Sadly it clouded over here but the weather lady said Scotland had a fair chance of seeing the Aurora Borealis.

    Have a good weekend.

    Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie

  7. Bertie you look smashing in these photo's, as always. You are an excellent model.

    I did go back and look at the dog poo photos & did't feel very happy about our flag in them, but obviously it wasn't your fault. You were just doing what you do best, sharing your surroundings with us.

    Nubbin wiggles,

  8. we love all your posts bertie you talk about whatever you like whenever the mood takes you and we will read it :)
    but my mind is a bit in the gutter and i am slightly obsessed with poo, he he xxx

  9. Bertie...toilet humour always gets everyone in motion. Oh..did we really just say that?

    We love looking at photos of you and reading your blog. We guess sometimes people are just to busy to post sometimes.

    Have a great weekend.
    Big Nose Pokes
    The Thugletsx

  10. Dear Bertie and Gail,

    I understand how you feel. You show us tons of beautiful places and share your beautiful prose and we go crazy over a bunch of flags in the poop.

    On the other hand, a bunch of US flags in dog poop is something none of us had ever seen before, especially given what I mentioned in my comment to that post.

    Given the way the human mind works, something like this is almost guaranteed to go viral. (I hope it doesn't mean humans have s...t for brains.)

    Anyway, yes, what you're doing is worth the effort, because you're a pair of beautiful writers and every post of yours is a priceless contribution to the blogosphere as well as the dogosphere. You have the ability to make us smile and make us think at the same time, and that's pretty rare these days.

    Please keep doing what you're doing, and...

    Keep on wagging,

  11. It's amazing what brings in the comments. As you know, sometimes it's the strangest things!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

    We love your Spring pictures.

  12. Well we were not offended by the use of stars and stripes. I do think America is Englands crasser cousin (and Im American) so it sort of works.

    Thanks for your kind words about Dr. Z by the way we are feeling better today, but it is very sad. She had a bad early life, a good retirement, and a really bad last few days

  13. Bertie- I love reading all your posts and I have to say the photos of your handsome self are a welcome relief after poopgate:) x

  14. Well Bertie, what can we say? Our own 'top' post was the one in which we said Goodbye!
    We prefer you to poop any day. You are posing so nicely in your pictures - we believe this to be a foxy thing as the WFT we met at the weekend was a poser too....!
    Have you had any thoughts on Crufts this year.........or are you making your way to Birmingham as we blog.
    Much love, keep up the wiry banter.
    The Aunties ccc

  15. Bertie Buddy you KNOW we love ALL of your posts.. Pictures.. and YOU, BUTT Buddy I gotta say this POOP is always a BIG Issue fur us.
    We just LOVE Poop and PoopING and Pee and PeeING.. AND OUR FLAG.. we just never though we would see POOP with our FLAG Plunged into it.
    We Feared an invasion was loomin. We were terrified that the military might come fur YOU and your beloved TANK.
    I am like Sasha.. I would like to put this BEHIND us. The entire incident just STINKS. We can be furends and stuffs and prove that WE are the better species. I'm just sayin, buddy.

  16. Well geez, I think I missed the whole flag in poop incident. I will have to go back and check it out. Though I am pretty sure that I would have been more interested in you and what you are up to then some poop or a flag (I can see either whenever I want).

    Your pal, Pip

  17. Re poopgate: Guilty as charged -- but since we two too are WFTs, we just assume that all of our fur brothers and sisters are incredibly handsome/beautiful and mean no disrespect if we don't actually point that out.

    As for those glasses you asked about: when I (Jake) was a puppy, mom left her Gucci sunglasses on the coffee table while she and dad and I were discussing something. She turned her head and in a split second I had skinned the top off one of the eye pieces. So here too, most good glasses are kept in elevated locations. Except the ones I'm wearing in my post are a pair of dad's "readers," which he buys by the dozens because he is always leaving them somewhere -- in this case, on my nose!

    Wirey love,

    Jake and Just Harry

  18. Mmmmm did someone mention 'country pancakes'? Oh sorry Bertie, what were you saying? Hehehehe. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

  19. Hi there, I don't know about others, but when life gives you poop I just pick it up and move on...bol. I love all your photos,especially of you Bertie. Thanks for sharing such wonderful places.
    Noreen & Reggie-dog

  20. Bertie maybe we should try a little army man next to the flag, BOL

  21. Come on, Bertie! It's not the poop, dude, it's the flags. Of course you're not as upset as you would be if they were St. George's flags; this one is ours, not yours. Or to be precise, Gail's. What if they had been St. Andrew's flags? And who walks around with a handful of little American flags, anyway? There's premeditation involved. And as the poop is still there, it didn't have the desired effect. But again we theorize ahead of the facts: has any new poop been added? Maybe the miscreant has at least stopped adding new offenses, so the desired effect was achieved.

    The 31 comments on Poopgate seem on a par with your usual fan base; you frequently have comments in that range. Just a post or two ahead you had 27 comments and not a word about poop or flags.

    We value not only your wonderful photos but your clear and concise presentation of the facts and your logical conclusions, which is just what informed the Poopgate post as well. And your touch of whimsey, of course.

    Just look at your informative and entertaining post about Educating Horatio. There is hardly a subject more worthy of good mentoring than developing correct toilet habits in a young male. Please keep us informed on his progress.

    You really favor Scottish independence? What if they deport Gail or make her get a foreign worker's residential visa to stay in Scotland? Or double tax her? We can understand the emotional tug of independence, but we're not sure it's been thought through logically. Then again, who are we to talk? It's not like the 1/3 of us who were rabid for independence and the 1/3 who were indifferent either way knew what we were getting ourselves into 236 years ago, and we damn sure wouldn't have it any other way. [The other 1/3 were, of course, for staying British. After the Revolution, some of them stayed and adapted, and some of them emigrated.] But we digress....

    Jed & Abby