Sunday 5 February 2012

Me, on a 'Magic' Carpet ?

Readers, thank you so much again for your enthusiastic participation in my readers' poll.

As you can see, your favourite for the mode of transportation to take Addy to the Valentine Party, just edging it over the Oil Man's Audi and the Tank, was ....


Boy, have you left me with a dreadful dilemma.

Seriously, you are expecting Blogville's chief (all right, only) scientific advisor to travel to the party by Magic Carpet ???

You might as well have voted Richard Dawkins for Pope. (No Gail, I do not think that is an excessively grandiose analogy.)

As a dyed-in-the-wiry-coat rationalist, of course I do not believe in magic. Also, being a terrier, I am a bit fearful of water.  So I am most dreadfully anxious about the whole Magic Carpet thing, especially the Atlantic crossing part of the journey. Plus there is the issue, as my greyhound pal Deccy points out, that people will think I am on drugs.... Oh how I wish I had not, on a thoughtless whim, included this Magic Carpet as an option in the poll.

I would feel so much safer in a tank.

Gail is telling me it is all a good lesson in how democracy can sometimes produce an unsatisfactory result, after all the Italians did actually elect Silvio Berlusconi (more than once), and that I shall have to learn to live with the result.

Well I thought long and hard about what to do, and have decided on a compromise. A bit like our current UK coalition government in fact - after all who voted for that? I have modified the so-called 'magic' carpet by installing solar panels and these will power a small engine (discreetly installed on the underside of the rug) which should keep us aloft in case all the abracadabra business fails. I am sure that Addy, being a sensible lass, will appreciate my precautions.

I have done some very careful calculations, based on my in-depth knowledge of aerodynamics and an estimate of the weight of my 'traditionally built' lady (thank you Jed and Abby!) I am now confident that with my additions, the carpet can be trusted to relay both Addy and me safely to the Valentine Party on 14th February.

Although, being a belt and braces kind of a dog, I have made arrangements for the tank to be held in reserve, just in case...

Oh I am so excited!

P.S. A word about the poll: I would like to note that both Gail and I did spot an 'irregularity' in the voting pattern. Just who are all the folk that voted for the 'Oil Man's Audi'? Only one comment (Rottrover) actually voiced support for this vehicle yet it garnered close on a quarter of the votes cast in the poll. How could this be? Is it that fans of Audi TTs and personalised number plates prefer to keep quiet about their preferences for some reason...?


  1. Bernie,

    Our engineer dad, who resists all of mom's attempts to teach him about "the suspension of disbelief' would totally understand. Mom, on the other paw, did vote for the magic carpet!

    Wirey love and Bon voyage....

    Jake and Just Harry

  2. Yea I was a little worried about that magic carpet business too - that's why I voted for the sensible smart car. Now Bertie, I'm a little concerned that your solar panel are actually the filters from Gail's extractor fan above the cooktop in the kitchen. Better double check your equipments!!

    PeeS: Yes - I have done agility for a year - then they wanted me to go into a more "grown-up" class. But the class is run on a bad night for my peeps so I don't get to go! I loved it - but my mum is not as lean and fast as your Gail, so she was getting more and more behind. All good - we do stuff at home with jumps and tunnels still.

    Tail Wuggles, Rubie

  3. I'm not entirely sure someone hasn't rigged this mate - probably to give a laugh at your expense.. ;-) But for God's sake be careful. I hope the tank in reserve isn't a necessity, but I just can't help but think it might be. Thinking about it, if you do use the carpet, some drugs before hand might be good..... Deccy x

  4. Well, I admit, I voted for the magic carpet. :0 You guys are going to have a great time, especially now that you have taken all these safety measures!

  5. The vote seems a bit skewed to us (perhaps like the Italian election). We think you'll need a turbo charged engine on that rug.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

    Also, as Addy is still a pup she might unravel that carpet like Roxy does ours.

  6. I, Addy was hoping for the Tank. I thought we could really make a statement with it, I mean who is gonna mess with a "Tank"? I trust you in your calculations that the magic carpet will stay up but keep the tank on stand by, good choice!!
    Cant wait!


  7. I'm sorry I missed the vote but I think your modifications are a great idea for added safety.

    Love and licks, Winnie

  8. Oh darn, I was really hoping for the magic carpet, I guess because I am a dreamer and love fairy tales....

  9. I hope it's not a chilly night:)

  10. hey Bertie,

    I was hoping for the bicycle. I thought Addy would look adorable riding in the basket as you peddled her to your date place. Oh well...I suppose a magic carpet, with your very clever modifications, is just as romantic. I will admit, it is much more exciting. And how many really get a chance to ride a magic carpet? :-> I think you will both have a blast!

    Not sure about the Audi deal. Do you suppose some Audi PR person(s) was monitoring and partook in some voter fraud?


  11. Recount! Hanging chads! Ballot box stuffing! Did the total number of votes equal the total number of comments?

    We would have thrown the carpet over the tank and called it a day, although we still don't see how you would have gotten the tank across the Pond - unless you'd used the ocean going cargo vessel. Your solution is much more elegant. But it looks like the carpet got only 20% of the vote, which is hardly a compelling majority. You could have a run-off vote. Or you could allow your lady's preference to count for 51% of the vote.

    Now we're off to Wikipedia to find out who Richard Dawkins is. We're thinking 1970's comic actor.

    Jed & Abby

  12. Man, our faces would be red if they weren't covered in fur. The Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science was previously unknown to us. Should have known.

    There was some blond English guy that was on sit-coms back in the '60's and 70's with a very similar name, though. Maybe it will come to us in our sleep tonight.

    Anyway, thanks for once again broadening our knowledge.

    Jed & Abby

  13. Hey there Bertie...
    Wow, all that trouble for a Valentine date. You sure are a charmer.
    BTW...would have loved to have shared the excitement of a 'potential' whale sighting. You had a really pretty vantage point. Who started the rumour anyway?
    Sending lotsaluv

  14. I got it!! How about we lay the magic carpet on top of the Tank?? What do ya think??


  15. I think Addy and Jed & Abby have a grrreat idea...hang the carpet over the tank!


  16. Bertie rest assured we didn't vote for the Magic Carpet. We thought there could be safety issues especially if you hit a headwind when flying over the wet bit!
    How are you going to hang on for goodness sake ? We really are most concerned.

  17. Dawling Bewtie
    the womantic in me would have voted fow the magic cawpet, but I cewtainly undewstand youw doubts, given youw deep skien tific knowledge and wational self. Youw solutions seems admiwabull and I only wish all the politicians hewe and elsewhewe had youw sense
    see you at the pawty ( I hope, given the unweliability of my Mommi, I'm not suwe)btw. thank you fow faithfully visiting me nevewtheless
    smoochie kisses

  18. I am weighing in on this late. But in your calculations have you thought about being out late after the sun goes down with the solar panels. Just saying you might not get Addy home by curfew!
    Sweet William The Scot

  19. Who sez terriers don't like water??? Well, Scruffy will jump right in WHATEVER...Stan swims but looks miserable and um well the front of Lacie swims well, but there are some issues with my jolly bottom...


    xxoo Beastie Girlie