Friday, 20 January 2012

The Torridon Olympics: false claims exposed

By Loch an Eion, after an unplanned dip in the burn

I can't tell you how often I've heard Gail going on about how she was some sort of a sprinter, back in the day.

Well last weekend I decided it was time to put these claims to the test. After all, the London Olympics will soon be upon us, and I fear that white-skinned fiftysomething females are currently under-represented in the Team GB 100 meters squad.

Let me describe the two trials, conducted in the vicinity of Loch Torridon:

1. On the stalkers path from Annat to Loch an Eion. I wanted to check if Gail could run as fast as me when I was attempting to chase a red deer stag up a steep incline through the heather. Result:

Gold Medal: the Stag
Silver Medal: Bertie
Bronze Medal: Gail

2. On the gently sloping road up from the side gate of the Wester Alligin cottage to a small enclosure 200m away, where some sheep were grazing peacefully. If I slipped out though the gate (when carelessly left ajar), could Gail reach me before I reached the sheep? Result:

Gold Medal: Donnie the crofter who erected the sheep enclosure's terrier-proof fence
Silver Medal: Bertie
Bronze Medal: Gail

Oh dear Gail. Those legs of yours aren't quite as fast as you like to think, are are they?

Never mind. We're still pals, eh?
At rest in front of our cottage, besides Hamish's memorial stone


  1. How nice of you to give your mom some extra exercise.


  2. Bertie I'm sure your Gail can EASILY out run my mum, and mine is younger than yours!!! So give her praise for bein' in better shape than most!

    Tail Wuggles, Rubie

  3. Makes me tired just reading about it mate! Deccy x

  4. You made me laugh Bertie, especially as I know Alfie would love to join you on your chasing pursuits!

    Our own trials on Elgol beach, Skye

    Gold Medal: Sheep (for having the nouse to jump up onto higher rocks)

    Silver medal: Alfie (for speed, agility and the ability to slip out of a harness!!!)

    Bronze medal: Holly for finally catching Alfie

    Unclassified-4 family members, who didn't realise that you will never win a race by running about sqealing and flapping like headless chickens!!

  5. Well now Bertie... at least Gail managed to get a Medal in EVERY event. Of COURSE not as Impawtant as YOUR MEDALS.. butt medals never the less.

  6. Hellooo Bertie ~ I was just over looking at my girl Jazzi and I see you have asked her sister Addy to the Valentine Dance. Us guys got to stick together. I hope Addy says yes. I know how hard it can be to ask a girl out.
    Sweet William the Scot

  7. Bertie, mum says there was a slight disadvantage in that you have four legs and poor Gail only two. But as Mr Frankie says she got a medal in all events so congratulations to you both. We love your last photo. Thanks for sharing. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

  8. gotta keep her in shape for your hikes and walks
    Benny & Lily

  9. You're not keeping Gail in shape for hikes and walks; you're getting her in shape for the London Olympics, aren't you? Maybe they'll let you and Gail at least carry the Torch on part of the run.

    How wonderful that you're taking Addy to the Valentine's Day dance. We had no idea you were dating already, young Bertie. Abby is trying to persuade Tyler Down Under to go with her. Jed is hoping to win a date with Miss Mayzie. Maybe we'll see you there.

    Jed & Abby

  10. HA we could have told you the winners before you had even written them. Listen darling we are still a little stuck back on the boson bit. Archie feels sure you meant to write bison and I told him I wasn't too sure... Never mind he quickly forgot all about it( and I do mean quickly) and is now dancing around the house with a little hat on singing the happy song. It is snowing here and we are getting ready for a little ruble tumble in the snow!! Muahhhh Love A+A

  11. Oh Bertie, our hears are swollen with pride! A nephew after our own hearts!
    The thrill of the chase, one day we just know we will catch the deer and so will you Bertie!
    What fun, and your Gail like our own humans will never keep up!
    They just don't have the stamina you see and are very restricted having only two legs.
    Now we confess we were more than a little worried about the sheep - whereas roast lamb with mint sauce is delicious there are humans who get most upset if we dogs help ourselves!
    Thank goodness Donnie had the foresight to realise that sometimes a dog just has to do what a dog has to do!
    We have missed your blog but apparently the computer is now on a life support machine........the humans are not sure how long it will hold out for. They have also mucked up our blog so much that we get dizzy just looking at it and have to lie down!
    Oh well, we will do our best - we had hoped to manage a little more in the way of blogging this year but who knows!
    Take care Bertie, we love your happy smiley pic with Gail and of course always enjoy the lovely scenery. Perhaps dips in the water at this time of the year would be better avoided. Spring will soon be sprung.
    Much love
    Martha and Bailey xxx

  12. That will be 'our hearts' though it could perhaps be 'our ears'!

  13. Any medal is a good medal! We think that deer should be disqualified...they cheat! Same with squirrels...

    Wyatt and Stanzie

  14. Way to go Bertie...need to keep these humans on their toes!

    Love the last photo.. you and Gail are definitely still pals!

    Big Nose Pokes
    The Thugletsx

  15. There's no fun in being off the lead if you can't chase something. Mom wouldn't even be in with a medal. I can just picture your scenarios very funny.
    Lovely photo of you and Gail.
    Have a good week
    See Yea George xxx

  16. Think of it this way got the Bronze! Not many can claim this accolade. You go girl!
    Loved the post!
    Sending lotsaluv

  17. Seein' as how we're not very competitive, we like the "at rest" part the best. 'Specially the picture.

    J and F and OurMoma