Friday, 27 January 2012

It's all very taxing...

So hard to get comfy, when a certain person is (finally) filling in her tax return, and one's favourite chair is being used as a temporary filing cabinet...

Another taxing matter this week has involved listening to this same certain person wandering round the house spouting some poem about a mouse. Apparently she rashly committed to learn this off by heart, to recite at a Burns Supper at our neighbours' house on Saturday evening. (I expect I'll be able to hear them laughing at her pronunciation all the way from across the street...)

But how would you like it if you kept being addressed, most inappropriately I might say, as 'Wee, sleeket, cowran, tim'rous beastie' ?

I asked Gail why she didn't instead select another excellent Rabbie Burns poem 'The Twa Dogs, A Tale', which clearly has far better subject matter. She replied that remembering the forty-eight lines of 'To a Mouse' were proving hard enough, and 'Twa Dogs' is five times the length. Well for shame Gail, that's just no' trying is it?  And I'm told that Kirsty, another neighbour who'll be at the Supper, can do the whole of 'Tam O'Shanter' (225 lines).

Oh and going back to the subject of taxes, did you know that Scotland's bard worked as an exciseman for the last eight years of his short life? He even wrote a poem in defence of his profession, sort of. (Kirk and State Excisemen)

Just one more thing.

The observant amongst my readers might have noticed the funny coloured stains around my eyes in the photos above. I've had a wee eye infection this week, hence a rare trip to the vet and a prescription for some drops. You would hope Gail might be all sympathetic, but no, she just looks up from the computer, frowns, and says  "I do wish I could claim you as an allowable expense Bertie".


  1. SHE went to a Burns night once and found the shortest poem she could. The evening went well until someone said Robbie was not nice to women...a fight nearly ensued!

    Bertie, get in the chair FIRST!!!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  2. Bertie - Sounds like you might get some haggis.

  3. Surely Gail could claim that you are a necessary guard dog, Bertie? Deccy x

  4. Hey there Bertie-bud,
    Could it be that you possibly acquired that "i" infection from too much computer time?
    Just asking.
    BTW, I love the way you have attempted to resolve your taxing chair problem.
    Geesh, can't a dog rest in peace? I suggest you return Gail together with her taxes, and her sweet poems.

  5. I think She is very rude fur puttin TAX.. on Your Chair. BaaaaWaaaah that was a Frankie Funny fur you..Get it???
    Tacks/TAX on your chair.

    I just crack myself up.
    Sorry about your EYE INFECTION.

  6. Taxes are hard! My peeps tend to put these things off to the last minute and then run around like crazy peeps at the last minute!

    Sorry about your eye infection. That's no fun. Hope they heal quickly.

    Your pal, Pip

  7. They do get quite bothersome Beetie din't they
    Benny & Lily

  8. I so so empathize! Our Dogdad plunks his computer case right on the chair I like to sit on. Or he'll use the floor in front of my bowls for temporary storage, so I have to squeeeeze in to get water or dinner. They have no compassion for what it's like to be a dog, do they?

    I hope the poemizing goes well and is short-lived. And that your eye infection is equally short-lived.

    Wirey love to a fellow sufferer...

    Jake (and JH, of course, although he just slithers under the low coffee table to his personal hideout so he is not as affected by said human's uncaring acts)

  9. Bertie, just use those strong legs of your to push all her tax stuff on the floor! I mean, it is YOUR chair!


  10. Sounds like you really enjoy being underfoot, Bertie-Boy! Perhaps you might think of the sofa and looking out the window or yeah, even going out of doors and see if you can't catch a week, timorous beastie for Gail.

    I'm going out for a run about in the snow!


  11. Oh these humans Bertie! One of them did point out that the only two things in life one can be certain of are taxes and death!
    Thankfully we dogs do not share either of these concerns.
    We feel sure that Rabbie will do a wee 'birl' in his grave at the thought of a woman, and not just any woman, an English woman reciting his poetry.
    We are sorry to hear about your eye infection Bertie. We do hope you are all better soon.
    Martha and Bailey xxx

  12. Bertie we do hope your eye is feeling much better now,

    Now you must support Gail while she goes round the house learning all the lines to her poem. It has to be so much better than listening to the dreadful woman on the radio who keeps going on about filling in your tax return by 31st January!

    Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie

  13. Oh no! You too Bertie?? Horatio has had three eye infections in as many months. Keep taking the drops and stop rubbing the eyes. XX

  14. Our security word is psynut - close enough to psych-nut for us. So sorry about your eye. Maybe you should keep it out of the frozen loch.

    Isn't it annoying how the peeps see a doggie in a movie or on TV who has worked for months and months to learn cute tricks, then come home and expect us to just do it based on their description, or maybe one or two half-hearted practice runs.

    Mazel tov on your date with Addy! She is most buxom and bonnie, and we're sure you'll both have a ripping good time. Have you considered a nice pumpkin? Romantic, and it goes nicely with the mice theme you have going.

    Jed & Abby

  15. Bertie got to paw it to ya fur tryin to get comfy on top of all that tax stuff crammed on your chair BOL! :D

    Now I'm thinkin that if you found a way to earn some kibble, Gail could write you off as an expense ;) Um...probably shouldn't have put that in writing. Mom says she's just had an Ah Hah moment. That usually means an Uh Oh moment fur me :O

    Waggin at ya,

  16. Good luck with the tax preparations. We have multiple stacks of paperwork that need some attention as well...maybe tomorrow....

    Hope your eye gets better soon, Bertie!

    Terrier kisses,
    Wyatt and Stanzie

  17. Just get Gail back by grabbing the tax return cheque and spending it on stuff for you Bertie!

    Sorry to hear of your eye infection!

    Tail Wuggles, Rubie

  18. Oh yes the dreaded tax return! Bertie fancy using your chair for the paperwork. maybe you could bill her for it's use?
    Hope your eye is soon better.

    Big Nose Pokes
    The Thugletsx