Tuesday, 1 June 2010

Things people say in the park

A man whose tough-looking bulldog I am barking at: "I think it's called Small Man Syndrome"

Just about anyone who hasn't experienced me barking at and trying to jump all over their precious pet: "Awwhhhh - isn't he cute"(if English) / "He's an affa bonnie wee doggie"(if Scots).

Soft-headed people often also say: "Such a shame they have to grow up."

A lady who is clearly too myopic to notice my fine long legs: "What is he? A rough-coated Jack Russell?"

A local ned* - pale, spotty, skinny, baseball cap, lurid tracksuit, speech incoherent - presumably on his way to pick up his methadone prescription at the chemist: "Bearrr-tie? Yer didnae name him efta tha' sh*t Sco'land Manager noo did Yer?" (We think he was referring to the former and disastrously unsuccessful Scotland football coach, Berti Vogts).

Lots of people aged fifty and over: "A wire-haired fox terrier? You dinnae see sae many of them aboot the day" and "far's he fae?" (Aberdonian for "where did you get him from?")

The owner of a large German Shepherd who - the dog that is - is uneasily backing away from my persistent friendly overtures: "He's nae feart is he?"

Now my conversation with this handsome Rottweiler/Akita cross is strictly private.

But, Uncle Eric, the one question that so far no-one has asked is "where are his wheels?"

*For those not familiar with modern Scots vernacular, NED = Non Educated Delinquent


  1. Oh Bertie you sure do hear funny things at the park. BOL..It looks like you are showing that big guy who's boss or are you forcing him to play. Cute!
    Benny & Lily

  2. Thanks for your nice comments, Bertie, almost makes up for that one about my age! (I'll be four in October!)

    Do find something red, Bertie, and take a picture. I'm gonna have to remember "NED", quite a few of those around.


  3. We love the comments with the Scot interpretation: "far's he fae?" and expecially "He's nae feart is he?"

    Bertie, which accent do you bark with? Or can you switch?

    We appreciate your continued efforts, regadless of which you use!!

    Wirey love,

    Jake and Just Harry

  4. Oh, Bertie! You're making my Brudder Ranger (the Rat Terrier) very much happy with your terrieristic tendencies!

    My mom likes that NED thing. She says she's gonna try to get that started over here.

    Wiggles & Wags,

  5. Some people say we Americans get quite silly over an English accent but the musical Scots dialect is far superior, especially when rendered by such a cute WFT.

  6. Oh Bertie!, waht a fun and clever post!! You sure meet alot of people and dogs at your park. we don't have a dog park here in Montana in the USA...we just have the forest!..millions of acres!! Hugs and wags, Mistaya

  7. Bertie, you are shooting up so fast, you'll be towering over your friends soon. I see you are acquring the nice square terrier noggin too. That boxer guy and his dog don't know a thing about terrier-tude....small man syndrome indeed. As Mark Twain said...“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.” We terriers are HUGE inside where it counts. You just keep on tellin' em what for!


  8. Tee hee NED* Thanks Bertie for expanding my vocals. I look forward to barking that out every day.

    Now the wheels remark my boy.I would venture as you are still a most perfect puppers (not at all a NED) but not all leggeds yet recognise youas a wiry boy. Once you are grown nice and square the baby boomers will be saying "I used to have one just like that on wheels"" Or in the case of White Van Man... yelling "where's 'is wheels then luv?" out of the window.

    Make sure you have a suitable reply like the cheeky one you told to that big doggie in the park. Just as well Gail can't lip read huh?

    Wiry love your proud Uncle E xx

  9. Oh little Bertie, you are getting taller with every post!
    We loved the pics of you with your new friend - you are such a confident little character!
    Now you will meet lots of strange humans, old and young, they really are a very strange breed.
    Just ignore most of what they saym especially if they don't have treats!
    We liked the story of the NED - we met a group the other day who told our humans they wanted to buy us.
    We are sorry to tell you that our Dad said they could have us both for a pound!!!!
    This is what you have to put up with...........!
    Just think you will grow up to as handsome as your Uncle Eric!
    Your adoring Aunties xxx

  10. Comments, comments, comments....though most of the time everyone says how beautiful we are....we can live with that.

    There must be an international brotherhood of Neds!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

  11. Berti
    You are quite the smart dog to know all about those languages!!!! What great conversations!!


  12. HA!!!!!! LOOK AT YOU TAKING ON THE BIGGEST KID(and the rottie!!)Way to go little buddy.Archie is going to go around trying to sound like he is Scottish now.... And he is calling everyone a NED.... We would say you are WICKED adorable( that is Bostonese for extremely)we are behind in our reading cuz PL2's camera broke but we don't know why she couldn't read... Go figure.... Love A and A ps yep it can get WICKED HOT but you can go out,you just can't do anything because you are melting

  13. Bertie,
    You are quite the brave little puppy. I hope that Andy will be as brave as you are.
    Sally Ann

  14. The wheels come much later!


  15. Wheels? Hmm...we might have an extra set left over when one of those wheelies went amuk....ran off and got married it did...wanted feet like a proper dog...sheesch....

    Oh Bertie...you are a fine growing young laddie, aren't you....

    Kisses to you dear boy and to your mom....



  16. Bertie we sure appreciate you filling us in on all this important information. Never would have guessed what a NED was! (And Mommy was glad to see that the 50+ folks seem to at least know what a WFT is.) You're a cutie-patootie!!
    BabyRD & Hootie

  17. Isn't it amazing what we hear in places - we always hear "aren't all Scotties black?" or "are you sure that's not a Westie?". And we know you hear "what a cutiepie" more than anything, right?

    Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Ruairi

  18. Dearest Little Bertie
    Thank you for noticing my pretty face - heaven knows I do my best!
    I am not scary to you because you are a little doggie.
    But when the wind blows my straw arms, legs and hair the crows are terrified.
    Of course I had no idea when I came here that your Auntie Martha would decide to keep nibbling at me!
    I hope to survive to the end of the week anyway - lovely to meet you.
    Sally x

  19. DAwling Bewtie

    Hoomans say some of the silliest things evew, although the ones awound hewe don't have such intewesting ways of expwessing themselves. I love the scots vewnacoolaw..I am tewwibully pwoud of the way you hold youw own wif big and small dogs alike.
    I twy not to be iwwitated when some nin com poop says "Oh look at that schnauzer" sheeeesh
    smoochie kisses

  20. Duh! It is so obvious that you are a handsome little terrier pup. Some people, sheesh! Hey, somebody once asked momma what kind of dog PeeWee is. Hello? Like a lab totally the most popular dog around. Get a clue.


  21. In answer to your question. Mosr certainly not !

  22. Someone recently asked if I was a Labradoodle. Mom answered politely but secretly wanted to reply "No, he's a Great Dane." I was talking away one day at the Farmers' Market (the veggie lady wasn't fast enough with the treats for my liking) and a Scotsman remarked "Ach, he's real Scots lad, always bellyaching aboot nuthin.'"

    Your pal,


  23. Absolutely fantastic Gail and Bertie, loving your blog more and more, you have made us so proud, we have added a link to you from our webpage, everyone shoud read this, such a lot of fun and education and also very accurate observations of the world we live in, keep up the good work, brightens up our day, love to both,your breeders, Mairi and Calum,xxxxx