Well, awfully sorry MaxMom in South Africa, but I've gone right off this Soccer World Cup thing.
Gail has been watching far too much of the football on telly. Obviously, this cuts into "me time", but that's not the half of it!
No, the real problem is that she has instituted a FIFA-inspired disciplinary regime.
For trying to jump up on Gail's lap when she's eating, or if I nibble at the tablecloth, I get shown this:
I think the idea is that I am supposed to retreat to my bed.
In your dreams Gail.....
So I ignore the caution and start snapping at Gail's ankles, or maybe chewing her trainers. Only to hear the words 'RED CARD BERTIE - THAT'S YOU OUT IN THE GARDEN MY BOY!'
'DON'T IGNORE ME BERTIE I REALLY MEAN IT!'
And she slams the door shut and leaves me all lonely and cold out there...
'Unity in Diversity' Bah, humbug!
I say! Please let me back in.