Friday, 18 June 2010

New disciplinary measures - I blame FIFA

Well, awfully sorry MaxMom in South Africa, but I've gone right off this Soccer World Cup thing.

Gail has been watching far too much of the football on telly. Obviously, this cuts into "me time", but that's not the half of it!

No, the real problem is that she has instituted a FIFA-inspired disciplinary regime.

For trying to jump up on Gail's lap when she's eating, or if I nibble at the tablecloth, I get shown this:

I think the idea is that I am supposed to retreat to my bed.

In your dreams Gail.....

So I ignore the caution and start snapping at Gail's ankles, or maybe chewing her trainers. Only to hear the words 'RED CARD BERTIE - THAT'S YOU OUT IN THE GARDEN MY BOY!'


And she slams the door shut and leaves me all lonely and cold out there...

I say! Please let me back in.


  1. Red carded! (But at least the garden looks like fun.) You need to do some zoomies and maybe a bit of digging. That might get you back in the house.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

    PeeS. If we were shown a red or yellow card, we might just eat it.

  2. Oh little Bertie, Gail has been watching far too much football!
    Banishing you to the garden indeed.
    We have a good mind to come up there right now and help you dig up that lovely garden - that would teach her.
    We find humans, in the early stages of the canine - human relationship appear to want to take charge.
    This cannot ever be allowed to happen Bertie.
    We urge you to rebel and to continue rebelling!
    You must get it through to Gail that the only thing that will 'work' are treats, treats and more treats!
    love and kisses
    Your adoring aunties, Martha and Bailey xxxx

  3. Hey Bertie,we wouldn't mind getting a red card if it means being banished to that nice looking garden. those are splendid ideas...u should start digging when u get hungry and believe us, that will get u back inside instantly. of course it means a bath for us, which u might not like much!!
    n about that FIFA eating into 'me time'...thank Dog there is someone with our predicament!

    Bud n Gin

  4. Bertie - Fight fire with fire. If you're going to be treated like a footballer then act like one. Stay out all night, chase the lassies in Victoria Park, and demand to be fed from a Gucci bowl!

  5. We must agree with our friend, Angus, but we also agree that you have a beautiful garden.

    Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Ruairi

  6. Wooos Bertie, now I know as a trainer dognbI should be giving woo good tips, but really.... football flags... that means, chew them up, and if woo are put outside in the garden, find Moms favorite plants, and start digging, after all the garden is there fur your entertainment, woo could transplant a few plants, get all muddy, eat worms, think of the fun woo could have, then Mommy will not be putting those papers in woo face anymore...
    ~husky kisses~
    -Kira The BeaWootiful

  7. Hey Bertie!
    Your mum is so funny! are the cutest little mite ever!
    Enjoy the football, Gail! (I'm sure Bertie has his own supply of coloured cards too)

  8. Oh, oh, Bertie. I've heard of this - it is called "Soccer Discipline".


  9. Whoa!!! We think you should tell your mom that you don't have a clue as to what those cards mean. Afer all, I don't think we doggies can distinguish red anyway.

    You do have a very nice "time-out" garden -- much nicer than when our mom was sent to her room as a little girl --and if you check out the Basset sisters' blog, you'll find all sorts of tips to make it even nicer. We're sure Gail will agree and decide that, since you're being so helpful out there, no cards are needed. Hehehe.

    Wirey love,

    Jake and Just Harry

  10. Hey Bertie getting put out in the garden is not that bad you might have ended up in the Dog House at the bottom of it.
    See Yea George xxx

  11. Well, being a farm dog myself, I can tell you that if you want to provoke the bull, wave something red in front of his face. This makes him paw the ground, bellow out loud and chase you over the fence. So...when I saw that red card hovering over your head, I thought to myself, uh oh, Bertie's really gonna cut loose now! That would have been my excuse, anyway. Good thing you show some self-restraint there, pal. Catch 'em when they're not looking. :)

    Happy Tails,
    William Tell

  12. Oh my word, poor baby all lone in the big beautiful yard
    Benny & Lily

  13. I hope Gail gives you a ball to look at and ponder about when you are sent out to the garden. You are looking very cute in your photos, and growing up so fast!


  14. HAHAHAHAHAA!! Red cards...yellow cards!! Oh Bertie...hide those red cards, darling...I could have you some bootiful ones done up for you in signature color...that way you'd think of me (and yes,'s her favorite color too!) whenever you're naughty!!!

    As for you best side in your last post? It's your tummy dear boy...those foxy wire tummy spots are my favorite...and I still want some...but alas...I'm too grizzle to have mine be seen...sheesch...


    Lacie Girlie

  15. Hmmm. My lady thinks you are a very cute dog! I'm a goat and really don't like dogs (especially terriers) but I like reading about adventures. If you read my blog take a look at Thistle (that jerk). He is why I don't like terriers - and why my lady loves them! She likes Bertie's speckled belly. Thistle has a speckled belly too!

  16. Bertie. We'd let you in. Right away. And give you all the treats that come with green cards. (You DO get green cards, don't you?) Moma thinks you are about the cutest wiry pup ever (Through your pictures and antics, she's getting what she missed by adopting me and Fergi ((through KatiePup's pictures)) long after we were puppies). (Did that make sense?) We know. You are just working on your wiry terrier skills now while you are young (It's the reason Gail wanted you, you know, for that frisky sometimes notty personality.) We're here to say, it's a bit harder developing cracker dog tendencies when they've been repressed for so long. So GO FOR IT! We're living vicariously through you!

    Your cheerleaders,
    Jake and Fergs

  17. But what a great big yard you have to roam around in, Bertie-lucky you!
    Your buddy,

  18. Bertie, how do those cards taste? Paper and cardboard make great chew toys because you can tear them to bits.

  19. Damn! You are giving my evil momma ideas. I bet she will start using the hand signals now from American football. Personal foul, offsides, unnecessary roughness.


  20. Gail's a right spoilsport. Can't see what the harm is with a bit of ankle bitting when your teething Everydoggie knows bones are the bestest for your pearlies whites..and covered by trousers or shoes are proper soothing for pupper pearlies.

    Never fear Bertie, that silly footie game will soon be over and she'll be influenced by tennis once she's put her peepers on Wimbledon instead. Then she'll be telling you "oooh I say! fine shot Bertie" the first twenty squillion times you lift that long foxy legged of yours and take aim.

    Remember the more you practise. The better you'll get. Gail will thank you for weatering her plants too.

    Wiry loves Uncle Eric xxxx

  21. Uh oh, don't let my Mama see those cards. I don't want her to use them on me. You are starting to look like a grown up boy now Bertie. Mama says my looks are changing fast now too. Happy Father's Day!
    Wirey Hugs, Purrz & Licks,
    Katie, Butchy, Ruby, Sylvester, Scuby & Hootie

  22. I agree with Wilf - tell Gail you're going to run off and marry a Spice Girl! That'll show her!

    Your pal,

    Uncle Petey

  23. we now think that Gail qualifies for the red card!