Wednesday 12 February 2020

Name envy

A few days ago,  Gail and I tried out a new dog-friendly café, 'Figment', conveniently situated beside my favourite shop, 'Pet Comforts'.

At the table next to us was a quiet and sensible looking miniature schnauzer and Gail fell into conversation with his owner while we two pups warily sized each other up.

The schnauzer was wearing a cosy blue fleece jacket and I found myself feeling a bit under-dressed, and wishing I had on my Aran jumper.

Having established from his human that my new pal was two years old, very well behaved, and lived round the corner from the café, Gail asked her his name.

'Einstein' apparently.

Gosh, if I was already coveting the blue fleece, just imagine how envious I felt when I learned of this most distinguished moniker.

"Gail, you claim to be some sort of a physicist, why did you not call me Einstein?" I asked when we got home.

She replied, in retrospect quite sympathetically (for Gail). "I'm so sorry. Who knew you were such sensitive little fellow? If it matters so much to you, shall we just pretend that Bertie is short for Albert, and that I had Albert Einstein in mind when I named you and not Bertie Wooster, not him at all!

Do you think this was a satisfactory resolution?

Back to the scene in the café. While Gail was finishing her tea, Einstein and I had time for a wee chinwag. To be honest with you, I found him a bit hard going. Our conversation went like this:

BB: Well Einstein, do you want to play with me?
Einstein: God does not play dice with the universe.

BB: Er, OK then, perhaps you would prefer to be with your human? She looks pretty smart.
Einstein: Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.

BB: Say, Einstein, it’s a bit chilly today isn’t it? And I almost fell over on the ice.
Einstein: Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

BB: Well, I guess it must be time to go home, it’s dark already. Look, a full moon tonight!
Einstein: I like to think the moon is there even if I am not looking at it.

Gail later asked me if I’d had a nice time chatting with my new Schnauzer pal.
“Relatively”, I replied.


  1. oh that is a smart guy your new friend Einstein... the mama is a fan, not because of the universe quote but about the rumour that his math grade was like hers LOL

  2. Hari OM
    BOL... errr.. cough... errr, oh dear Bertie lad, it seems the genius was lacking the common touch! Though I think I might have enjoyed the conversation... Fret not dear boy, you have plenty smarts and you know how to apply them. Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

  3. Well Bertie you certainly meet some diverse doggies on your travels. Though maybe this time your companion was a little too full of himself! What a boring conversationalist he turned out to be.
    I'd much rather chat to you all day, than that jumped up pup!

    Inca xx

  4. Oh Bertie we think you are plenty smart and don't need a smart name to prove it but we do like Gail's attempt to redefine how she came up with your name.

  5. Einstein has to copy someone else's smart name, while you make your own reputation!

  6. To Gail I say bravo for the quick thinking on the origin of Bertie!! deserve a brownie.

    Bertie it appears Einstein might be quite a deep thinker and possibly takes himself too seriously. Relatively speaking, I do believe you are JUST the WFT to show him how to stop and smell the roses. All this being said I must ask...are you sure all of this was not a Figment of your imagination? BOL BOL
    Hugs and thanks for this wonderful post.

  7. Einstein's got nothing on you, Bertie. You are much smarter and your name suits you perfectly as it is.

  8. I don't know Bertie...I think Einstein might be a bit over the top...BOL!
    Rosy, Jakey & Arty

  9. Figment....where dogs are that really a place?

    Our first thought was that Einstein was a far cry from Wooster.

  10. BOL. I think you are both genius, two side of the same coin. And, I am sure you are geniuses to your parents.

  11. What's in a name??? That is the question. I thinks your pal is tryin' just a little too hard to be a smarty pants. You do you, Boo! don't worry abouts everyone else, you knows you are one smart puppers, go with that
    Ruby ♥

  12. You two are hilarious! I am pretty sure that Gail is telling the truth - and your full name is Albert!