Monday 18 November 2019

Dark Matter and liver-based treats


Bertie Boffin here!

Of course, all my readers will be familiar with one of the great conundrums of modern physics, namely that 85% of the mass of the universe is made up of something the scientists call Dark Matter, but despite lots of very sophisticated and sensitive experiments, no-one has yet managed to detect a single particle of this elusive substance.

Well, on Sunday morning, while Gail was showering, I read a very interesting article on the topic in her New Scientist magazine.
 

It seems all sorts of weird and wonderful explanations for mystery of the missing Dark Matter have been proposed. Maybe the Dark Matter particles interact with the stuff we can see, but more weakly than hitherto thought? (An example of a 'strong interaction' would be when I meet the woman in the park with liver-based treats in her pocket.) Maybe there is a whole 'hidden sector" of material never yet detected? (Like there is a hidden sector of our house where Gail keeps my personal supply of liver-based treats.) Maybe gravity as experienced here on Earth behaves differently in other parts of the galaxy? (In the way that I behave differently in places where liver-based treats are plentiful.) Maybe the physicists' model of what happened in the first fraction of a second in the history of the universe is somehow faulty? (Surely not!)

Well I am delighted to reveal that later that same day while walking near the summit of Scolty Hill, quite by chance I came across an abundance of Dark Matter...

...I even collected some of it in my furs as evidence...

So where is my Nobel Prize for Physics?


Or at least my liver-based treat?

18 comments:

  1. Bertie you are a genius your explanations are always as clear as mud... and yes, bring on that nobel prize for the smartest terrier of da whole slice earth.

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  2. Wow Bertie, that's some serious thinking there! I think your Nobel Prize is in the post! Isn't that what they always say about elusive matter?

    Love,
    Inca xx

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    1. Inca, you have stumbled upon an excellent alternative explanation for the missing Dark Matter!

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  3. If dark matter is undetectable, how come my momma ALWAYS spots it and makes me get a baff??

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    1. Very good point Kinley! You obviously have a very clever momma.

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  4. Oh Bertie I am by no means a physicist (although I worked very closely with many for 25 years) I personally think that buckyballs are the reason for dark matters mystery. Now that being said well done on collecting the most amazing samples of Dark Matter in your neck of the woods.
    Hugs Cecilia

    PS your are wise to be s u s p i c i o u s of
    cats their rules are...which change in a heart beat.

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  5. A hidden stash of liver treats? We’ll have to scour the house when we get out of prison!

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  6. We know where our liver treats are hidden but they are too high for us to reach. Good luck with your research on the dark matter you collected. We bet Gail did her best to rid you of it before you got in the house.

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  7. Hari OM
    Ooh, Bertie lad, was that related to this experiment?

    For you, liver treats are the goal of life. For we meditators, reaching total consciousness is the goal. When one is starting to reach that goal, it becomes like marching through molten vinyl or the heaviest molasses you can imagine. Very sticky dark matter, that stuff... the ancient Sanskrit texts explain this as being an experience of all the parts of the universe that cannot be observed with the material eye. They even talk about the material existence only being about 'one fourth' of the whole existence. Pretty close for folk who only had their minds as instruments of research!

    Back down here on earth, liver treats and muddy walks are a perfect counterpoint! YAM xx

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    1. Bertie says: Wow Aunty that is super interesting. Although we rather doubt that ancient Sanskrit folk and today's physicists share the same ideas about the nature of the missing 75-85%!
      Gail says: The New Scientist article Bertie read (!) was more a general review of the state of the search for dark matter rather than an original piece of research.

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  8. Now THAT is our kind of Dark Matter, although we must admit it does put the Momster in a very DARK mood:)

    Bring on those liver treats.

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

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  9. What great dark matter you encountered, how great that you could share your discovery with Gail!

    Kiki and Rosie

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  10. Very interesting facts you have presented Bertie...and now we are really craving a few of those elusive liver treats!
    xoxo,
    Rosy, Jakey & Arty

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  11. Bertie, I chortled LOUDLY when I got to your discovery! Thanks for the best snort of the day, my friend.

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  12. You should be hired by NASA. That was awesome. Maybe you can also teach humans that the Earth is not flat.

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  13. It's a scientific breakthrough! Do you think you can exchange the Nobel prize money for liver treats?

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  14. Loved your post Bertie. We are doing "mats" waiting paitently on the floor for liver treats beside the chair of the one who types for us, when she read us your post about dark matter... now if only she would give us more of the dark matter we would be very happy! Love and woofs, Riley and Enzo (who have now proven that they were both quiet enough to get some liver).

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  15. Wow! Good for you Bertie to discover all that dark matter!!
    hugs
    Mabel & Hilda

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