Thursday 26 December 2013

"You eat a ton of muck....."

(Subtitle: Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud...)

Good morning friends, I hope you are having a simply splendid Holiday!

Now a dose festive jollity is all very well, but I suspect that some of my friends will be tiring by now of the Yo Ho Ho business and be yearning to read a blog post with a tad more intellectual and scientific rigour.

Fear not. You have come to the right place.

So I was all for tackling the mysterious matter of the Virgin Birth, but Gail insists that this topic is above even my pay grade, and has steered me instead in the direction of the 'Hygiene Hypothesis'.

Whether this relates in any way to the fact that we have now been six days staying with Human Granny in Nottingham and Gail claims still to be waiting for her first meal made from food within its use by date, I leave you to decide...

For those of you unfamiliar with the theory, the 'Hygiene Hypothesis' states that allergies and ailments like asthma have become much more prevalent in recent years because human babies are not exposed to enough dirt and bacteria and this weakens the development of their immune responses.

So one would predict that, being born in a manger, asleep on the hay, surrounded by all those lowing cattle etc., the baby Jesus would have started life with a tip top immune system. Likewise, Gail having been brought up in a household where a complaint about some dirt on a windfall apple served for dessert was met with the gnomic quote from her Yorkshire grandfather "You eat a ton of muck before you die", can boast a cast iron digestion.

Now you may have heard that we in the UK are enjoying a 'brown Christmas'. I can't think why Gail and HGY disapprove all this mud and don't seem to want me "trailing it all over the carpet..."  Did you know that in a teaspoon of soil there are approximately a billion bacteria? So healthy! But the humans would insist I was all cleaned before I was allowed to visit Human Grandad in his nursing home yesterday. (He was finally discharged from hospital a week ago). HGD was only briefly awake, but he did give me a lovely smile and a pat on the head before he fell back to sleep again.

You know, he spend his childhood outdoors playing on Ashdown Forest with his big brother Jack, building dens, fishing in muddy streams, bringing home grass snakes as pets etc. etc. Perhaps that's why he has lived so long.

So in honour of HGD, I decided to go right back out there and find some more dirt...


    Oh yes indeedy my mom does agree with Gail.
    A little dirt is fiber; however, Bertie I must say you are an expert at mud and muck attraction....must have something to do with your magnetic WHT personality
    lots of hugs to you and Gail and a special lick you HGD and HGM.
    madi and mom

  2. WE are WITH YOU on this one 187% Bertie... the 87% is MINE the 100% is Ernie's .
    DIRT MIRE and MUCK are all FABULOUSLY DIRTY Four Letter Words in OUR BOOK of GRRRREAT Words.
    We have NO clue why Peeps are so opposed.. It may have Somethingy to do with THUMBS. Who knows with THEM.

  3. Dirt is good...well that is what I tell peeps when I eat it in the park. Make it count as one of your five a day Bertie. Have a tremendous Thursday.
    Best wishes Molly

  4. Don't people pay gazzillions of dollars for mud got yours for free !

  5. .Eat whole. The closer your food is to its natural form, the more vitamins, minerals, and yes, dirt, your body will absorb, process, and benefit from! Dirt taste great and it's filling.
    Thanks for being a friend
    Sweet William The Scot

  6. Blessings, Bertie. I will share this with my human brother as they raise my two tiny nieces!!! Just Harry

  7. Hari OM
    Yup. Bit o' muck ne'er harmed ye... Hugs and muddywags, YAM-aunty xxx

  8. We love mud....but even after our Christmas Day rain, we don't have just soaked right in because the ground was so thirsty.

    SHE spent HER childhood in a polluted creek, and is never sick....BUT if we get muddy, it's into the bath??!! Science is on our can THEY ignore it??

    We're glad HGD is home.

    XXXOOO Daisy, bella & Roxy

  9. We love dirt, Bertie. We like to eat a little and then have some water, thus cleaning our muzzles in the water bowls. It's the best! Love to H Granny and HGD1

    -Bart, Ruby and Otto

  10. Bertie, you could say that the mud is good for your skin.

  11. Bertie,
    This hygiene hypothesis sounds brilliant, thank you so much for telling us about it! You've given me all the reason to charge into the brown outside and take a wee bit of the great outdoors back inside with me, possibly spreading some of the love on the settee. Eve could really tell her mum about some of this, because she could possibly be persuaded to let me into the house next time, to improve all of their immune systems!
    Hope you all had a lovely Christmas down the road!
    Pippa :)

  12. Wow that is a lot of mud, and mom is a big believer in that hygiene hypothesis

    retro rover

  13. Hmmm, my Ma grew up hearing "A little dirt won't hurt". So true, I believe. I am not a "mud bather" but I sure love digging in and sticking my nose in all kinds of dirt. Dirt is divine.

  14. Ahhh. This explains why our hu-siblings are so healthy. Mum was never much of a cleaner! Take care mate and gentle hugs to your HGD and HGM. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory