Sunday 1 December 2013

Email from Cousin Cocoa Standard Poodle

No soon as I'd clicked 'publish' on my last post, than I received this email, care of Gail:

Dear Cousin Bertie, 

Re: your recent visit

I hate to rain on your parade and all that, but I am wondering why no-one asked me to contribute to the 360º appraisal you published so brazenly on your blog on Wednesday. 

Most assuredly, I would NOT have awarded you full marks based on your behaviour when you came to stay with me and my brother Percy for a couple of nights a short while ago. 

I expect you were thinking that, because I am a relative newcomer to the set up, I would not venture to voice an opinion. How wrong you were.

Let me say I for one am quite happy you are now over three hundred miles away and not, I hope, planning a return visit any time soon. 

Imagine, readers, there's me, recently rescued from an endless round of pregnancies in a Norfolk puppy farm, just settling into my new Peak District home, getting a feel for the place, learning how to deal with my huge sibling Percy Poodle and generally working hard to adjust to a different routine, when along comes this wee whippersnapper of a wire haired fox terrier, bouncing around and growling at me all the time in an incomprehensible Scottish accent.

Oh yes and then there was the small matter of the night-time pooping on the kitchen floor, wasn't there Bertie?

Ten out of ten? I think not.

I am going to recommend that Gail holds the marshmallows and duck jerky a while longer. 

Yours faithfully, 

Really. Who knew my new cousin was such a little tell tale?

PS from Gail: Human resources professionals worldwide, take note. These last two posts of Bertie's provide an excellent example of how even the most supposedly objective methods of performance review are subject to bias and manipulation...


  1. Well, everyone except Cocoa gave you a 10....we're sure she is just biased.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  2. LOL a ,little bias and manipulation means 10 out 10????
    Well done Bertie.
    Have a serene Sunday.
    Best wishes Molly

  3. Oh Bertie, that is so funny, you must remember it when she comes to stay with you!!!! Lady Vicki

  4. Thats so funny , Well done Bertie

    Welcome to join my blog

  5. We are sure you were ten and that cocoa is trying to blame you for things she did. Lee and Phod

  6. What happened to the rule " a lady never tells"?

  7. All 360 appraisals have a bit of the subjective in them. We're sure your marks were on target! Have a super Sunday!

  8. Berie: Sorry we missed the 360 degree post on an earlier date. Having read both at one sitting, we truly enjoyed the differing points of view. As my mother says: "Walks and travel with a WFT can be one long spontaneous WFT fan club meeting, or a trip through hell."

    However, since your cousin was recently rescued from a puppy mill breeding situation, we think she is probably highly hormonal and generally not inclined to give male dogs a fair shake

    your pal


  9. Oh, no, Bertie! Perfect you being a naughty little dog. So, I am really not surprised, I have had experience with you myself a few times that were less than pleasant. Give the boy a 3+ and a start over.


    Jo, Stella and Zkhat

  10. Bewtie, how insulting. I think yoow cousin totally misundewstood yoow happy talk and bounciness. I give you full mawks fow being a pawfect smile indoocing notty tewwiew..we awe just not appweshiated
    Smoochie kisses

  11. Hari Om
    OMD - once I had stopped giggling I found it in me to think that there is some degree of jealousy going on here...perhaps it's time Cocoa got her own blog??

    Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty (...from Edinburgh..finally!) xxx

  12. Bertie I read today's post then went back to read Wednesday's post. It is my (un)humble Feline/Female opinion that Cocoa might be displaying justt an itty bitty
    ounce diva-ness. Any my handsome WHT if anyone knows diva behavior it is I, Madi, Queen of Divas.
    Hugs Madi your bfff

  13. Oh my Bertie you cousin really ripped you a new one so to say. Perhaps the other side of the family would be kinder to you.
    Thanks for being a friend
    Sweet William The Scot

  14. My first time stopping by. Nice to meet you!