I wanted to buy Human Grandad (HGD) a present but Gail said that he doesn't really need more 'stuff' and that what he would like most is for us to spend time with him, and take him out for short walks in the Nottinghamshire countryside.
Well that sounds fine by me.
Gail has been briefing me on how best I can help make sure that HGD enjoys our walks. She says now that I'm one and three quarters it's time to take on some responsibilities.
So let me stop bouncing around for a moment and see if I can remember all the instructions.
- I have to go quite slowly, or at least if I rush ahead I have to keep looking round to check that HGD is still in sight.
- I have to remember where we have been and how to get back, in case HGD forgets the way.
- HGD is very thin these days and feels the cold, so Gail and I need to check that he has a good thick coat, plus hat, scarf and gloves with him. If he wears his hat with the funny flaps, I am not to laugh or feel embarrassed.
- There is a danger that HGD might take a tumble, as he is rather wobbly. But I needn't be too alarmed if he does. He will most likely get up again, apparently unharmed, and say to Gail, rather proudly, "I used to play rugby, so I know how to fall". But best not to lick his face when he's down anyway.
- I am not allowed to bark in the car, as sudden loud noises make HGD very anxious and jumpy. Human Granny says it's something to do with his time as an RAF pilot in 'The War'.
- Sometimes HGD tells the same story over and over again. I don't know why Gail thinks that this is exceptional. After all, she's always repeating things too. Like "NO Bertie, NO, NO, NO, NO!
- I am to observe how HGD will always touch his cap, if we meet a lady when we are out walking. This is apparently a polite old-fashioned human gesture and sets a good example of civilised behaviour.
Well none of that sounds too impossible does it?
I am so looking forward to my visit.