Friday 26 August 2011

Agility: progress report + Help for Horatio

Attention levels
Bertie must learn that barking at the horses in the adjacent field is not the point of the exercise.
I like attention. Why do all the other dogs get more attention than me? Especially that Maddy, just ‘cos she’s so hopeless at the ‘wait’ bit.
Speed over obstacles
Bertie could move faster if he put his mind to it, as he shows when chasing fellow trainee Maddy.
Look, if you go quickly then your turn is over too soon and that’s no fun.
Accuracy over obstacles
So long as he actually tackles the jumps, rather than dashing across the field to try and join the more advanced dogs, Bertie usually does well.
“Does well”? Talk about faint praise. I’m brilliant. Have I ever knocked down a jump? Ever? No? I rest my case. Oh and, what do you mean "more advanced"?
General behaviour
Bertie is not the worst behaved of the young dogs we have come across, but his tendency to go AWOL half way round the circuit needs attention.
Hey give me a break. Remember that I am a terrier, and unlike all those swotty collies, naughtiness is my birthright.
Areas for improvement
Bertie is far too fond of the sound of his own voice. We are less so.
I have noticed that some of the other dogs have treats that smell much better than the ones Gail brings for me.
Issues with handler
For someone who claims to have a PhD, Gail’s ability to remember the order of the obstacles seems rather poor.
See comment above. Plus, why are you always so ready to praise the other dogs Gail, yet so critical of me?

Maddy the Manchester Terrier (she's FAST!)

Dawn - one of the many swotty collies

PS My little wire haired fox terrier friend Horatio in Edinburgh needs your help!

He has been attending puppy school this summer, and has apparently made a big impression with his sparkling personality. For the final class next week, he is expected to perform a party trick. His humans are in a panic over this. If you have any bright ideas about what he could do, please do go over to his blog and let him know.

PPS Below is a version of the report card which hopefully those of you who see a big blank higher up in this post can read.


  1. Well Bertie I think that you did quite well, for well, being a Terror oh I mean Terrier. That said I think that your grade had to be at least a B maybe a B+. Also if Gail would provide the correct, approved by you treat I am sure you would have recieved an A!

    woos, Tessa

  2. Fetch the biscuit . Guaranteed to work every time .

  3. BOL Bertie we know you are screaming at the horses to look, look at you. Pretend you are chasing something good cause you look like a pro on that jump. We know you have it in you
    Benny & Lily

  4. Bertie Bud,
    Your report card is priceless!!! I think my trainers are too scared to send me mine...oh yes, I haven't been to training for a while. Perhaps that has something to do with it? BTW, I think you are a star!!! Maxmom is very impressed. Party trick?...mmm...will have to think about that one.
    Enjoy your weekend.

  5. I loved the report card. Gave me a good chuckle this morning... thanks B&G

  6. Bertie, we terriers always think...we don't just blindly follow. Sounds like you're having a good time.....all work and no play ...

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

  7. Those horses had it coming, right? I understand. I love that pic of you mid-jump!

  8. I think we must have missed a lot of this post - there is a long white space that will never load.

    Bertie, you are a fortunate dog to have an agility class close by!!

    The Rocky Creek Scotties and Ivy

  9. Great report Bertie- made me laugh! The trainers just aren't seeing it from your point of view! You look pretty agile to me!

  10. Bertie, thanks for the appeal to the wider dog community! I'm liking the fetch the biscuit trick, although I fear it might degenerate into just eat the biscuit and I'm not sure many will be impressed with that one!

  11. Bertie....jus delete dat middle column wit da trainer comments. Your comments are da only ones dat count!

  12. OH this is terrible... I think your Teacher Person is Picking on you. YOUR Self Evaluation is MUCH better that.. Her Eval.. Perhaps you should Pee on her the next time.
    I don't know your furend butt I did do a GRRRREAT PAWty Trick once when mom and dad had a BUNCH of THEIR furends here. I brought a pair of my dads Under Shorts out fur them to ENJOY... and Boy HOWDY Did they EVER!! mom and dad.. not so much.

  13. Hey Bertie!
    Wow,I think it sounds like you do just perfectly well at your class! This is supposed to be fun for you, right? Well, you just keep doing what you want and you'll be having the proper amount of fun!
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, COP

  14. Oh dear - we just signed up Monty for agility. I wonder what his report card will say?


  15. Whar an unusual report card! The person who wrote it and the dog who commented are remarkably insightful. We hope Gail reads it all very carefully!

    Wirey woofs,

    Jake and Just Harry

  16. Bewtie
    I could see anything except youw most gowgeous leap, but fwom the comments it seems youw pawfowmance is not fully appweciated..well poo on them,I think you'we fantaboolous and I'm so pwoud to be welated to you(if only distantly)
    Keep doing what you'we doing, cause I think you'we pawfect!
    smoochie kisses

  17. Hi Bertie,

    It seems that Gail has missed the whole point of agility, and that is to have fun. From your report it sounds like you are having fun in class.

    The hardest thing I found whien I tried agility was trying to understand why my human was flapping her arms around, running in strange ways and saying weird things! Keep working on Gail to make her focus and learn what "she" should be doing (your leaving half way around the course and doing other things only prove she is not giving you clear directions) and once Gail has it right, all you need to do is follow her lead.

    Which reminds me, was there an invisible "wire terrier wire" used to lift you over that jump - I looked closeley at the photo but couldn't see the wire lead between Gail's hand and you.


  18. BOL, againg you're a terrier, or course you love the sound of your own voice! It's our right.

    Nubbin wiggles,

  19. I'm pretty rue that if those horses weren't for barking at, then they wouldn't BE in an adjacent field. Just saying'. Mama saves the very best treats (real meat) for whn we are woring on agility,otherwise there is just too mug going on to hold my attention. It sounds like you are having FUN any ays, and after all, isn't that the whole point?

  20. Bertie, this is all new to you, its early days and it must be fun at the same time, don't you think ;)
    I tell to what, next time dad makes a batch of my liver cake I will send you some.
    I'd jump though hoops to get it.
    Have a good week
    See Yea George xxx

  21. Listen I think you have it right and they are all wrong Really who WOULDN'T bark at the horses. and are you a collie? or a sheep herder? or a bird catcher(or whatever they catch) No MY MAN YOU ARE A NAUGHTY TERRIER AND NEVER FORGET THAT,,, Having said that you look smashing going over the hurdle Love the A team

  22. Has the trainer not considered that her classes are just too dull for your quick intellect? Sounds like a teacher blaming her brightest student for getting bored when she's teaching down to the lowest level of the class. Clearly, you need more challenging courses.

    Jed & Abby