Friday 26 November 2010

Bunty's list: Bertie reveals his competitive side...

Bertie: the picture of innocence
Remember Bunty? The little border terrier pup who ate my lunch?

Well. She sent me an email the other day.

I know what you're thinking. About time she apologised for that dreadful behaviour. Perhaps she's finally learning some manners.

Not one bit of it.

The email simply read as follows:

Trousers, leaves, pansies (eaten rather than chewed), dressing gown, cardboard boxes, woollen hats, twigs, feet of antique tables, flex, toilet paper, flower pots, combs, remembrance poppies, firewood, shoes, boots, matches, fir cones, newspapers.

This is, of course, a list of household objects she's chewed up so far. I think I'm supposed to be impressed.

Is this some sort of a contest Bunty?

Well let me make a few things quite clear:

1. I too have chewed just about every single item on your pathetic little list, and then some.
2. If Gail had owned any antique furniture, then I certainly would have had a go at that too.
3. Did you see what I did to that egg box?
4. Ditto the dog flap.

Finally Bunty, I would like to bet you half a dozen choice lamb shanks that you can't compete with my proudest achievement to date.

It used to be Gail's favourite cashmere sweater, but I guess it isn't anymore as I haven't seen her wear it lately...


  1. We can see that little minx Bunty is trying to compete with you Bertie - but it is clear to us that you are King of the chewer uppers - a cashmere jumper is very impressive!
    Apparently you get a better reaction if you pick something expensive!
    We, for some reason, have never been chewer uppers but Harry once had a good chew on a mink coat!!!!!
    Well they reckon he thought it was a stuffie - Gran was not impressed at the time but we do not hold with mink coats anyway - next thing you know it will be basset coats or, heaven forbid, WFT coats.......!!!!!!
    much love
    Aunties Martha and Bailey xxx

  2. Go Bertie, go!!!! That dog flap has to be worth at least five things on her list. You are definitely winning.

    Have you tried books--especially library books. Bella thinks they're very tasty. The sweater looks good with those ventilation holes.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

  3. Bertie, our man, you must try to curtail those habits before they get out of hand - well maybe we're a bit too late with that advice. Our Mom advises that Gail purchase the largest rawhide bone she can find and let you chew on that for a day or so - your jaws will get so sore that you won't want to chew on anything for a while, but when you do, repeat the process - soon you'll outgrow that chewing.

    Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Ruairi

  4. That is one competition I don't want to join. Ish. You terriers. Yuh, Grandpa Angus counted among his accomplishments a couch, a carpet, a wall, and momma and master's video collection. You little stiff legged ones are all a bit cracker, aren't you?


  5. Go Bertie! Go! Go! Go!
    The more the merrier!
    The faster the better!
    The more precious, the bigger the reaction!
    You are my hero!
    ps. Have you shredded the pool filter yet? nudge, nudge, wink, wink!

  6. You may think you are some powerful chewer, but Mom had a very nice cashmere sweater that a mere moth chewed holes in. No bigger than *** that it was!

    I'd just stick with the scones if I were you!


  7. PAH the little one's list(although impressive) is NOTHING TO WHAT WE THE CHAMPIONS OF ALL CHEWING AND DESTOYING CAN DO( whew that felt good to get out)The cashmere sweater was clearly a good one and obvious to us that you read chapter 23( we chose Pl2's pink one.....) Ahhh you could be our best pupil EVER.. Love The A team

  8. All I can say is: oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Some things are best left out of the competiton.

  9. Bertie, I think that Bunty might have a crush on you!

    Nubbin wiggles,

  10. Oh MAN Bertie,
    As I was reading, I thought WOW that is quite a terror!! LOL
    ANd to find out you are beating him~~I GASPED when I saw the bestest favorite cashmere sweater!! I think you better slow down that chewin...bit or else Gail is gonna getcha!! Trust me i know from experience. I once, I say once chewed my dads cell phone cord and well he couldnt find a new one and had to get a whole new phone!! Not my best move!!


  11. Our proudest moment was the night Mom went in to go to bed and we'd chewed up our brand new dog bed AND a king-sized DOWN COMFORTER. The entire room was white. It looked like it had snowed! Mom went a little cracker...

    Gizmo and Bart von Weiller

  12. Now that is a contest we could win! We even have a picture of our latest "victim" on today's blog.

  13. Holy Crap Berts! Are you out of your mind? Don't you know that wool can bind you up inside? You need to be careful on the fabrics. (We thought we would completely avoid any mention of the total mental and physical anquish your Mum probably suffered by your chewing her sweater). You do push the envelope!

    Love, Dozer and Cooper

  14. Just so long as you stay at the top of the VeryMostImportant list, we think you'll be okay. But we think you may be pushing your luck just a little.

    (Does she see ANY humor in it? You ARE awfully cute, Bertie. Do you make her smile at least a LITTLE?)

    Hoping so,
    Jake and Fergi

  15. Bertie my boy. Wow! You are impressive Bertie and of course have such good taste..cashmere..hahha no itchy scratcy lambswool for you.

    But know what Bertie. When I was a puppers having an injection at the vets..he, the vet...told the Squares he had just operated on a puppers who had eaten a WHOLE SET of Christmas tree lights....bulbs and all!!!! WOAH!!! Is that not the bestest ever????!!! Can we EVER beat that do you think Bertie? Do try dear boy. And tell your Gail me thinks she got off lightly.

    Wiry loves from a dead proud Uncle E xxxx

  16. I had to laugh at the list and the fact that you can match it and oneup Bunty with the cashmere sweater. Cashmere from Scotland is my favorite so I think I'd be very upset with you.
    Xx-Cassie (the human)

    Oh hoomans are so goofy! It's just a piece of clothing afterall. Ha!
    We think you are a terrific terrier Bertie. Sorry we doubted you in our last comment.
    BabyRD & Hootie