Thursday, 14 October 2010

Back home after an eventful field trip..

Gail, please can I come on your lap and have a cuddle?

Bertie, dear darling Bertie, you come here. You're looking quite down in the mouth. What's all this about?

(Big sigh) Oh Gail, it seemed such a good idea at the time. A Highland geology field trip with my pals. How did it all go so wrong?

Little Bertie, I'm sure it didn't ALL go wrong... OK, I admit, reading your previous post, that I was a mite concerned you had bitten off more than you could chew. It was a big project for such a wee man. Where do you think the trouble started? Oh little Bertie, please don't cry, you can tell me all about it, no-one else need know.

Well Gail, let's see, I think my first mistake was to let Uncle Eric drive the bus. Yes, I know, I had been warned.....Then the incident with Stella at the airport didn't help did it? Although, as it turns out she is a deluded fantastist, perhaps we were perhaps still better off without her? Despite all Ludo's whinging. I mean, you'd have to be deluded to imagine that a holiday on Lake Como with George Clooney would be more fun than a Highland geology field trip in the pouring rain, wouldn't you Gail?

Wouldn't you?

(Gail seems distracted, a bit dreamy eyed,  for a just moment).

Er Bertie, yes you're right, quite right there. Of course you would. 

And then Gail I'd always thought that at least my bassett Aunties Martha and Bailey were respectable and responsible types, despite being from the Glasgow area. How could I have known that they'd organise a lock-in in the hotel bar, behind my back? It was supposed to be only me and George that had access to alcohol...

So you see it was late the next day by the time we got back to the bus, and we saw that it had all but disappeared into the bog!  All the terriers, big and small, plus of course Kira and Riley and the rest, they all dug and dug and dug, but the bus just kept sinking deeper.

And that Mango, when he eventually turned up, was a hindrance not a help. Honestly Gail, knocking poor Toby over that ledge of Torridonian sandstone with his purple manbag while dancing the Highland Fling indeed! At least nurse Asta's unexpected appearance meant that little now not so little Toby went home to South Africa with his wounds neatly dressed...

As if all that wasn't enough, George and I had a bit of a barney over the merits of geologist Sir Roderick Murchison, who, as everybody knows, got his Highland geology all wrong. You know what he said at the end of it? "That's the last time I'm letting you share my secret beer supply Bertie". Boo hoo.

Oh my poor chappie, could it have got any worse? 

Yes it could! I can't believe that, of all dogs, it was Jake and Fergi who led the mutiny after I suggested we hike on over to Ardnamurchan to look at the volcanic ring complex. Then Jazzi, who I thought was such promising student, flagged down a tour bus destined for Aberdeen, saying she'd heard that the 'Oil Capital' had some Mexican restaurants to cater for all the Texan roughnecks. You know, that was when I realised I'd totally lost control.

Bertie, Bertie, Bertie, I just hate to see you all upset like this. (She wraps a blanket around her beloved, distraught young wire-haired fox terrier). Was there anything else? 

Only that Uncle Eric insisted on a diverting the bus to the Walkers shortbread factory in Aberlour, and forced us all to take part in some dumb competition. Then when we finally reached Aberdeen, and I tried to tell  everyone about the very interesting Rubislaw Quarry, source of the granite that built the city, and one of the biggest man-made holes in Europe, they all threatened to throw me right into the big hole if I didn't immediately show them the way to Chiquitos....

Now little Bertie, don't take it so hard. Surely there must have been some bits that were fun? 

Well Gail, OK, I guess it was rather lovely to have Katie and Fergi in my room late at night, looking so cute in their jimjams. Even if George did seem a bit miffed that they insisted on keeping them on. (That's the story we agreed, isn't it George?). Yes, that was pretty nice. Mmmmm.

And Bertie, I'm sure you learned a lot. So there's no need to be downhearted. Do you plan to carry on with the science lecture series? Maybe you need a bit of a break?

I've been thinking about that, Gail. I've decided I will take a break for a few weeks, and then I'll perhaps try something easier than geology.

Good idea Bertie, good idea. So what subject do you plan to tackle next?

Quantum physics would be suitable, I'm quite sure. Yes, definitely, it's going to be quantum physics.

Oh Lord give me strength.....

Gail?  Gail?  Er, I thought you said you were an atheist?



Oh and Bertie, just one more thing?  I really want you to make it up to Stella. For Hamish's sake. She and him were such good friends. And I'm sure you and Stella could be too if you would only show her a bit more respect. Will you do that for me? Please? 

OK Gail, I will. I promise. I like Stella too. A lot. I'll tell her I didn't mean what I said earlier....


  1. Poor little Bertie - you did your best - we'll bet our kilts on that!!

    Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Ruairi

  2. Hiya Bertie
    George is back home - safe and sound. I'm sure that Murchison was wrong and I'll explain how to George later. It's a good job he appointed Archibald Geikie to help him. On the subject of the beer – Sorry you didn't get your share but get Gail to email Georges Mum with your address and I'll send you a bottle – promise
    Don't be downhearted – You had a great trip.
    Looking forward to the Quantum Physics talk
    Georges Dad

  3. Hey Bertie-I haven't stopped by in awhile-you're all grown up and a gorgeous Wire Girl!
    By the way, quantum physics sounds like it will suit you :-)

  4. Sweet Little Bewtie
    Please don't be wewe splendid..even in the showt time that I was able to join you , I leawned so vewy much..I had no idea thewe wewe so many nice places fow bootifying mud bafs(no wondew Gail is so attwactive and youw haiw so pawfect) and the views! and possibilities fow excewcise to keep ouw figoowes..well, all in all I am delighted to have had the chance to be along, now quantoom physicks, that should be a sinch fow a clevew boy like you to explain.
    I'm suwe aftew a small west, youw enthoosiasm will wetuwn and you'll see what a good time we all had
    smoochie kisses

  5. Oh, you have had a hard time, haven't you Bertie? It's awful to see you so sad. The point is, you did what you set out to do and everyone got back safely. Isn't that all one can ask of a field trip. Isn't that one reason why I decided I wasn't field trip material. (I should have sent Franklin, though, now that I think of it.) Um..quantum physic, huh? I think that only Border Collies are going to be smart enough to take that course.

    lotsa licks, Lola

  6. Hey Bertie, you can count us in on the Quantum Physics thingy....we didn't know it was going to be sooo exciting.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

    Should we pack our own cask of red?

  7. Jake and Fergi, eh? I suppose they are real terriers now, all causing mayhem and whatnot. I could have told you Uncle Eric was a devil in wirey fur, but I am shocked at the behavior of Martha and Bailey.


  8. Hey there Big Brother!
    Just so that you know...I LOVEDS YOUR FIELD TRIP!!! When's the next one?
    Even if Mango knocked me over, I don't mind...I've spent most of my puppyhood on my back anyway!
    I loves you lots and lots my bouncing big brother! We ares (spelled correctly, BOL!) gonna be big buddies!

    ps...I's scared of Stella too...:)

  9. Bassetts frae Glasgow ! That'll teach ye !

  10. Oh little Bertie, we had such a wonderful trip!
    Please don't be downhearted.
    We so enjoyed all the fun and the wee dram ...... well Hamish himself would have been just the one to join us.
    You are sort of exageratting the whole thing but then that happens with the young - their imagination knows no bounds.
    We were actually thinking Bertie that rather than these rocks, stones and boulders would you not consider a tour of the Highland Whisky distilleries!
    We do think all your friends would get so much more out of that!

    Oh and if we can just point out we are from a posh suburb outside of Glasgow - not that we are snobs or anything but really Bertie one would not want to give the dogblogging world the wrong impression!

    Oh did we mention your Auntie Bailey was arrested yesterday for loitering outside a toilet block in Balmaha!

    love and kisses
    Martha and Bailey xxx

  11. Poor Bertie! It can be hard work being a puppy! All the big dogs want to put you in your place. I think that just what Stella do and Gail be right, you and her will come to a good agreement soon. Girls can be really temperamental!! Just look at all the trouble I got into with Morgan when I got interested in girls! Oh, wells, Gail can tell you about that.

    I enjoyed the trip lots, wallowing about in the mud and all. Next time I is sure Stella will not be a drama Queen and will come along, I will probably find something else to whine about tho, cos I is a sheltie and we has to gab.
    ~lickies, Ludo

  12. Darling boy no need to be upset.. really you know we are a bit of a hellion crowd( I mean really there were ALOT of terriers and terrier want to be in the crowd) I must say Archie was kind of getting nervous but was THRILLED to hear he wasn't on the naughty list( I mean he is usually number one) and he is practicing as we speak with his little kilt and bagpipes going up and down the hall doing Rolling stone songs( for a bit of achange) We all have giant ear plugs in so it isn't as bad as it could be) Maybe we can talk about your next topic.. call my cell.. Love and kisses A+A PS Chiquitos was quite nice...

  13. Oh my. Bertie. Jake is so humiliated and embarrassed. To be considered to have caused mayhem ... and to have that announced to the entire blogging world. He admits to getting rather cracker-dog when he's really really happy ... and it DOES get rather out-of-control. And I do admit to recently gaining enough confidence to join in the ruckus for brief periods of time. But what you witnessed was NOT mutiny. It was complete, over-the-top joy ... just rather inappropriately expressed. And unfortunately served to be a stimulus for increasing disorder. Remember what you taught us about the Second Law of Thermodynamics?

    Anyhow. The truth of the matter is, the evening in your room was the BEST reflection of the amazing weekend. And I'm glad you like my jammies. I'm rather fond of them, myself.

    Please, explain to George. We are so uncomfortable being misunderstood.

    With love, and never-ending respect,

  14. Bertie, Dads had a word with me, he didn't have to, I was thinking of you all the way back. Sorry I spit me dummy out the pram!! It was just said in the heat of the moment, I realy did have a great time and would share my beer any time with you.
    You had a lot to put up with, I would have send them all packing, on the first night, maybe not Katie and Fergi, opps did I say that.
    I have brought a couple of bottles back I should have left them with you, please if you would like me to post them up, just send an pee-mail to mom.
    Hope we can still be furiends George xxx

  15. So,Bertie, Your trip wasn't quite the smash you had hoped for, eh? Even though you didn't get a lot of studying in, most everyone had fun! Even me, of course I wasn't with you!
    I am not much for apologizing, Bertie, because its easier to treat people well than to wind up having to offer an apology. So lets just say for this time, Let Bygones be Bygones. One caveat, Bertie, I always mean what I say, always.


  16. So,Bertie, Your trip wasn't quite the smash you had hoped for, eh? Even though you didn't get a lot of studying in, most everyone had fun! Even me, of course I wasn't with you!
    I am not much for apologizing, Bertie, because its easier to treat people well than to wind up having to offer an apology. So lets just say for this time, Let Bygones be Bygones. One caveat, Bertie, I always mean what I say, always.


  17. Pawsitively brilliant...

    Dry your eyes, Bertie Boy...I dug the bus out...takes a Lakie to do these things....

    Sometimes our adventures get a tad outta control...roll with the punches, wiry boy...oh...I did give Mango a good nip in the butt for bein' clumsy!


    Lacie Girlie

  18. Bertie please don't be down in the dumps. You undertook an enormous task involving rather a lot of Terriers, that in itself is a recipe for disaster.

    At the end of the day we all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and would love to participate in a second field trip.

    Rest a while and enjoy some relaxing times with Gail and then we are sure you will be as keen to go tripping again just like us.

    Molly, Tafffy and Monty

  19. Um...we just read the post before this...Mumsie was LOL and had to get kleenex to mop her eyes...those Beatle songs that Archie played...OMD...I had no idea they were so canine relevant....

    Our favourite was Let It Pee...honestly, that's exactly what we do around here...

    Now Bertie...cheer up dear boy...I think this adventure was an astounding success...and my rainwear wasn't see was just a bit translucent....

    As Katie's Aunt, I was a bit dismayed that she THOUGHT she was going to spend the night in your room alone...thank dog Fergie was in there playin' duenna...


    Lacie Purple Kiltie Cakes