Ungainly? What an insult!

Oh I do wish I lived in one of those households where even the smallest of achievements are met with uncritical praise.

You see, now that it's dark in the evening when Gail returns home from work, she has decided to instigate a winter training programme teaching me new indoor 'tricks'.

This week it's been "roll over Bertie!"

It occurs to me that rolling over probably comes more naturally to the shorter legged breeds - dachshunds and the like.

For us gangling types, there seems to be an issue of where to put the legs.

Really, I think people should be impressed that I have finally, with the aid of extensive treat-related bribery, mastered the required activity at all.

But no, all I get for my efforts is "Bertie, can't you try to roll a bit more smoothly? You look so ungainly. No marks for 'artistic impression' for you my wee laddie".

Humph. What do YOU think?

Scotland, Guernsey, Sana'a or Dubai?

Oh it's been ages since I met up with my Westie friends Florrie and Lucy. Yes, I know, yet more girl friends, well what's a handsome wee chappie to do?

Last weekend Gail and her friend the Oil Man (the Westies' owner) finally got themselves organised so we all went out for a leisurely walk around Loch Kinnord, the pace dictated by Florrie's twelve year old hips, and we had a chance for a good chat.


Florrie and Lucy spent much of the last year or so on Guernsey* with the Oil Man's son and daughter-in-law. Florrie confided to me that she really was happy to be back in her homeland, she admitted she felt a bit depressed away from Scotland and had lost her enthusiasm for walks, despite all the Channel Island sunshine and pretty beaches. Happily, now she's back, she's regained some of her former zest for life, even to the extent of voluntarily wading into the Loch despite the thin films of ice evident on the more sheltered stretches of water.


Lucy, it seems, adapted better to life amongst the rich Guernsey tax exiles. Gail tells me that this is because Lucy is five years Florrie's junior, and one is more flexible when younger, in all sorts of ways. Well anyway, Lucy loyally claims also to be content to be home, as she knows the Oil Man is very fond of her, and if he's happy, she's happy.


Florrie and Lucy's absence was, as some readers might remember, prompted by the Oil Man being away working in the Middle East. He's been dividing his time between Dubai and Sana'a, Yemen, and I was of course curious to learn if these would be interesting and dog-friendly places to visit.

Well I don't think I'll manage to convince Gail to take me to Dubai any time soon. It seems the main attractions there are hot weather and shopping and she's not a big fan of either, and come to think of it, neither am I.

Sana'a sounds altogether more appealing. Did you know the old city is a UNESCO World Heritage Site? Look at this picture I just found in the internet.

Lots of fascinating places to sniff there, for sure. And at an altitude of 7500 ft, it has pleasantly cool climate too. OK so the terrorist threat means you have to go everywhere with heavily armed guards - on arrival at the airport they even escort you across the tarmac from the plane to the terminal it's so dangerous - but I don't see that should be a problem given my tank driving experiences...

Once again, Gail is not convinced. "Bertie, look at the beautiful, clean and safe environment we enjoy here in Scotland, especially attractive when bathed in soft winter sunlight isn't it? Why would you want to be anywhere else?" she says.

You know, on reflection, I'm inclined to agree with her.

Oh and if you're wondering why the 'Oil Man'...

*For readers from abroad, Guernsey is one of the Channel Islands, a small and wealthy archipelago belonging to the UK (albeit with a lower tax regime) but located closer to NW France.

Agility: distracted by girls?

So, before this week's agility training session started, I had to listen to a great long lecture by Gail.


"Bertie pay attention now please. Earlier this week I forked out the grand sum of £10 to enter you in your first ever agility competition. It takes place just outside Aberdeen on Saturday 8th December and I know it says on the blurb that it's a 'Just For Fun' show but I shall be taking it all very seriously indeed and I expect you to do the same. I have to tell you that I was most disappointed by your performance at training last week, and I think our trainer Shaun was too. One would have thought you were a complete beginner at agility, which you are not. You really must learn not to be so distracted by the girl dogs in your class. Especially that fluffy wee Pippa..."

Not for the first time, I couldn't believe my flappy little ears. What was all this about me being distracted by girls? (And heaven help me if Addi hears about it...) The truth is that I had NO IDEA what I was supposed to be doing that week 'cos Gail kept forgetting which order I was supposed to be jumping the obstacles and was just waving her arms in a random fashion so I got all confused. Personally I think the underlying problem was that Gail was all stressed 'cos of worrying about her Dad, but I'm just a dog, what would I know?

Anyway, I must say that my three young lady dog agility training companions are very nice indeed (although in no way distracting) and I'm sure my blog readers would like to meet them.

Here is Cassie, with her handler Kevin.


As you can see, Cassie is a swotty collie, and would not waste time looking at the camera as she was far too focussed on trying to figure out the optimum angles to approach all the jumps.


Then there's Maddy. I think she enjoys posing for photos.


She is super quick over the obstacles too. And these days she even waits for Alison to give the 'go' signal before racing off.


Finally, yes, of course there's wee Pippa.


Isn't she cute? She's a relative newcomer and it's only polite for me to go and make her and her young handler Bethany feel welcome isn't it?


But I am totally not being distracted by her.


I hope that's quite clear.

Halloween mayhem with Addi and the tank..

So this was the scene in our kitchen as Gail said "goodbye" and "have a great time with Addi" and "please remember to keep your cape nice and straight".

Well you'll have to pop over to Jazzi Addi's blog to see exactly what happened next...

... You won't be surprised to learn that Addi was about as enthusiatic about her 'Target Dog' eye patch as I was keen on my Dracula outfit...

You can rest assured we had those costumes off faster than you could say 'trick or treat'. And as for the notion that we would then just "play nicely" with a pumpkin on a Scottish beach.

Well I think someone was forgetting that Addi and I have a far superior toy at our disposal... 

Oh Addi is a girl after my own heart. We are so alike in our thinking. I mean I know that some pups might be going all "how cute" when given the option to romp around together in a patch of jolly, smiling pumpkins.... 

But we had other ideas..

This was the scene after Addi and I laid waste to that old pumpkin patch...

Oh I can't tell you how much I adore Addi. What a fine, strapping lass she is. I am well and truly lovestruck. Do you know, before I set off for our date I thought and thought and thought about what present she would most like. Gail (who, let's be honest, is a strong contender for the world's most unimaginative gift giver) suggested flowers or jewellery, can you believe?

Luckily, with the help of Addi and Jazzi's Mom, I found something so much more suitable.

I am delighted to report that Addi was thrilled with her Halloween gift, and rewarded me with one of her most awesome ever smiles. She says she will treasure the finger for as long as it takes to totally decompose back in Illinois...

I am such a happy chap. 

Must Addi really return home? 

PS: Thanks to Addi's Mom for the fabulous photos