All of a huff / teddy bears

Laying aside my alter ego B-cubed for today.

I want to tell you how very annoyed I am!

Just occasionally, inexplicably, Gail suffers from the delusion that going out for the evening will be a better and more entertaining option than staying in and watching my antics. Incredible, I know, but true.

Well last night was just such an occasion.

Can you believe that she went to see a film called 'Winter's Bone'? Yes that's right, a film seemingly about a bone! And she left me behind.

It gets worse.

She came back to my usual enthusiastic and vociferous greeting (yes, I do try to remember to sulk, but it doesn't come naturally) and she said "well it was just like being at home really, every scene was played out against a background chorus of barking dogs".

Was this perhaps a reference to my regular eveningtide conversations with next door's springer spaniel Molly?

Maybe. Anyway, eventually, Gail will learn the lesson. You really can't beat a night in with me!

Oh and another thing. People in the park keep saying I look like a teddy bear. Can you see the resemblance?

 

Me neither.

PS A reminder - you still have a week to apply to join my field trip - see previous post. BBB.

Earth science is not just for terriers

What sort of rock is the wall behind me made of?  (clue: I am in Aberdeen)

Bouncing Bertie Boffin here (you may called me B-cubed).

The next topic we will tackle in my lecture series for budding canine scientists will be geology.

Now the study of rocks is best conducted outdoors. OK, I know what you're thinking, after last week, it's clear that any class involving dogs is best conducted outdoors....

It just so happens that the North of Scotland, my home patch, is widely known as a Mecca for geologists. So in two weeks time I shall be leading a field trip and we shall visit some famous localities in the stunning landscapes of the Highlands and Islands.

I would love to say that all my friends are welcome, but I am a little concerned that this class (and Stella there is no need to write 'class' in inverted commas, it sends out entirely the wrong message...) will be oversubscribed. We can only take a small minibus down the narrow and twisty Highland roads. So before accepting your registrations I am going to ask you to complete a little task.

I want you to provide some evidence - we scientists like evidence - that you are well prepared for field work in Scotland.

Please feel free to use your imaginations here. All the best science students have a strong creative streak. There is no single right way to complete this exercise. But here are just a few suggestions to get you started:

Perhaps you can demonstrate a prior interest in the practical aspects of Earth Science.

Perhaps you could show me that you will be able to withstand our inclement climate / possess the appropriate weatherproof clothing. (A hint to my more fashion forward friends: what works on Seventh Avenue is not necessarily suitable for a Scottish bog).

Maybe you have some photos illustrating that boulders, cliffs, mountains and midges are totally your thing.

A familiarity with the customs and traditions of the Scottish Highlands would be a distinct advantage.

You can submit your applications for the field trip by adding a comment on this post, or better yet by posting something appropriate on your own blog (but please let me know in the comment box if you do the latter so I can make sure I link to it). Deadline for submissions is Friday 8th October. The field trip will take place on Monday 11th October.

I look forward to hearing from the students who attended last Monday's class, and perhaps some new ones. And yes Stella, please do encourage Ludo to apply. I know his Mum is very busy at the moment but I think this subject will suit him down to the ground.

Finally, feedback from the Thermodynamics lecture has indicated a rather regrettable obsession with the availability of 'foodables'.  Please remember that these classes are about expanding one's mind not one's girth.....

Wet weather, a tummy tickle and remembering Hamish

After the excitement of Monday's highly successful lecture, we are taking a break from science for a few days... But keen students should look out for a new announcement early next week!

So, just to update you on other stuff. Over at Gail's west coast cottage last weekend the weather was, well, all that one expects on Scotland's west coast. Exactly as depicted in the animated film 'The Illusionist' in fact. I was a bit worried that we would be staying inside so I decided to draw Gail's attention to her excellent and definitely waterproof walking boots...

Luckily, my new friend Clare, who was staying with us, is a jolly good sport and does not mind the rain at all. Here we are together in the little village of Shieldaig.

And later, admiring the view of Loch Maree, and the majestic mountain Slioch, part hidden in the mist.

Then I went exploring the Caledonian pine forest on the slopes of Beinn Eighe.

Back at the cottage, I discovered that Clare also does most excellent tummy tickles.

What's not to like?

Oh and finally, I want to show you the Autumn crocuses, growing around Hamish's memorial stone. They are extra pretty this year, drawing beauty from the ashes of Gail's dear old Westie.

Lecture No. 1: Thermodynamics

Now attention dogs! My name is Bouncing Bertie Boffin. Welcome to this special lecture series for budding canine scientists. How pleasing to see so many fresh and eager faces. I am new to this lecturing business so I hope you will be patient with me!

Today's topic is the second law of thermodynamics, which states that the universe always tends to an increasingly disordered state.

But before we begin in earnest, there are a few things I need to say.

Molly, Taffy and Monty - can you hear me OK at the back there?

Stella - here is a pencil and some paper, so you now have absolutely no excuse not to take notes.

George! Go tip that pint of Ironbridge Pale Ale down the sink, RIGHT NOW!

'Professor' Agatha - that doctor's note from your brother Archie saying he has a headache is CLEARLY FORGED. Please make sure he attends next time or I shall be instigating special disciplinary measures..

Lola - listen carefully and I am sure you will understand, after all you are an intelligent dog, not a beagle or something.

Mango - so nice to see you sitting there all enthusiastic. You are pleased to be away from that purple room, no doubt!

Petey - please note there will be NO COPYING HOMEWORK. All texts submitted will be run through my specially DWB adapted anti-plagiarism software...And anyway, I doubt that Mango's efforts will be of much use to you. I fear that you are making the mistake of conflating head size with academic prowess...

Tubby Toby - so good too see one so young and so keen to learn. Now you will remember to raise your paw if you need the bathroom, won't you?

Jake and Fergi - oh how nice it is to have such intelligent students in my class, I can see you two are going to be a pleasure to teach. Yes I totally agree with your suggestion that I am a canis lupus familiaris veryspecialis. Ten out of ten already.

Eric - I am assigning you the special role of helping Jake and Just Harry from Florida with problems they might be having with UK English word usage. Aunties Martha and Bailey can also assist with any specifically Scottish vocabulary.

Dozer and Coop - just a quick word. I fear you may have missed the point of coming to class. It is not all about scoring treats, it is about improving the mind. At least Jazzi seems to have grasped that particular point (you weren't expecting tacos were you my dear?)

Oh, what a shame that Wilf does not seem to have made it. Those French air traffic controllers can be so difficult...

Well done Riley, by the way, for arriving on time, all the way from the Antipodes!

Oh hello Tessa, and all you Scotties from Rocky Creek, do come in, yes, there is still room at the back. And sweet little Katie, living proof that science students can be pretty too, why don't you sit right here on the front row. Perhaps you would like some private tuition later.....

Now. What were we going to talk about? Ah yes. Disordered states.

George! I said DOWN THE SINK! not OVER MOLLY'S HEAD!

Eric! How is Stella ever going to take notes if her paper is shredded? And her pencils all chewed up?

Jazzi - I can see what you are up to. Please bring that mobile phone to me  RIGHT NOW. Texting an order to TACO BELL indeed!

Oh dear, we seem to have a little puddle on the floor. And Mango it is very mean of you to blame little Toby, don't imagine I can't tell the difference between slobber and pee...

Oh thank you so much Jake and Fergi for fetching the towel and mopping it all up.

Now where were we?

Ah yes, the concept that the overall level of disorder, also known as entropy, is ever increasing. For example....

What?

Oh dear. Another mess on the floor. George, just how many pints did you drink before you came to class today?

Thank you again, Special Wires.  Look I have some biscuits here just for you two. Oh and one for Katie of course...

Eric, Jake and JH - STOP THAT SNIGGERING. Yes I know that the English language contains a wide variety of colourful expressions to describe George's disgraceful condition, but that is not relevant to today's topic.

Dozer! Coop! Jazzi! No! NO!! Those treats are meant for Jake and Fergi. It is very bad of you to steal them. Lola! Monty! Sit. Sit! SITTT! Oh little Toby, please don't be crying...

No, Aunties, I am not losing control. Not at all. Everything is quite in order. This class is not about to degenerate into one big 'stushie' or 'stramash' so there is no need to explain those words either.

DOGS! PLEASE! PLEASE! 

NO! 

Oh dear, it seems we have run out of time for today.