How high do you pee?

Greetings from Bouncing Bertie Boffin, advisor to Blogville on all matters scientific!

Today, we return to the perennially fascinating topic of the bladder emptying habits of the male dog.

I expect some of my readers already saw reports of important recent research which concluded that small dogs pee higher up lampposts in order to appear bigger than they really are.

As so often with science, a new finding, while in itself interesting, prompts a whole host of further questions, all just begging to be addressed by some would-be Nobel Prize winning researcher.

For example, one wonders if exceptionally high pee-ers have an increased tendency to groin strain, and if so, might regular practice of doga mitigate the danger of such an injury?

Also, does the height of the pee decrease towards the end of a long walk, when a chap is tiring and the effort of elevating his rear limb might not seem so much worth the bother? 

Has anyone ever investigated whether the urge to impress through pee height is particularly prevalent in adolescent dogs? (I believe that not dissimilar behaviour is sometimes observed in young males of sp. Homo sapiens....)

And how, I ask, do female dogs use urination as a means of asserting status?

Oh yes, and getting rather personal here, am I alone in occasionally getting confused about bodily functions and cocking my leg when doing a poop?

As can be seen in the pictures below, although I count in the 'small to medium' size category (being a somewhat oversized WFT, 43cm at the shoulder) I am fully capable of competing with the little guy illustrated in the research paper, in terms of angle of leg lift.

However, I have been known to topple over while peeing, especially on icy ground, an accident which I regret to inform you is generally met with laughter not sympathy from my unfeeling human.

I am still hoping to persuade Gail to collect data on the exact height of my carefully placed marks. But she seems strangely resistant to the idea, protesting that the thought of our neighbours spotting her taking photos of me peeing in the first place was quite embarrassing enough, and she really isn't prepared to have to explain to some curious passer-by why she is fumbling around the base of a tree with a tape measure while trying to locate the damp patch.

Sometimes one is forced to question Gail's commitment to the whole scientific endeavour.

Medium, but in no way average

"He's a strong wee dog".

Gail's face burst into proud smile when the 'measuring lady' told her that, as I stood on the table being gently persuaded into the correct stance.

I haven't lately said much about my agility club activities have I? Truth to tell, Gail and I are not the most dedicated and committed members of the Deeside Dog Agility Club. So some weeks we go along to training, others we do not.

Now Gail is being encouraged to enter me into local events, although I have not yet mastered the see-saw and am far from convinced that there is a point to weaving along a line of poles. But anyway, as a first step, it was decided on Saturday that we would drive down to Camperdown Park in Dundee, where an agility show was taking place all weekend, and I could be 'officially' measured and logged into the system.

As you can see, there was a long queue of dogs waiting to be measured.

And if you are thinking, gosh Bertie, that all sounds quite a palaver, then I would say, you might be onto something there.

Well, for the record, I stand precisely 42 cm, or 16 1/2 inches, high at the withers. In agility terms, that means I'm classed as 'medium', despite the fact that in every other area of endeavour I am clearly well above average.

Gail made me watch some other dogs perform, which was supposed to inspire me. "Look Bertie, see how the dogs all jump over the hurdles rather than running under them...."



Well, if by inspiring me Gail meant instilling the thought that "I could at least do better than that", then I guess the process was to some degree successful.

I mean, one German Shepherd wasn't even walking round the course, much less running, he was taking it all at a slow amble. Then there was the Collie who climbed back and forth over the 'A' frame three or four times.  Not to mention the handler who stumbled, fell flat on his face AND incurred ten penalty points for his dog by knocking over the jump as he went down...

Well all this was very interesting, but with Gail too mean to pay for any of the  extra-curricular activities on offer...

... and the weather threatening to turn typically Scottish...

 ... we decided to call it a day and head home with my newly acquired Kennel Club Agility Record Book.

Oh and I did get a new toy out of the deal too.