Now Gail is a stickler for doing one's homework, and has been most anxious that I go to school well prepared.
In fact she decided to give me some extra tuition, by staging a re-enactment the famous incident involving my predecessor Hamish the Westie, some scones baked by Human Granny, and HGY's best white Nottingham lace table cloth.
I am a diligent student, as you know, and this is what I learned about the art of table snatching from observing this highly instructive re-enactment.
1. It is important to lull the humans into a false sense of security, having them believe you are fast asleep in your favourite chair. Pretend to be unaware that on a nearby table lies a plateful of scones, generously spread with jam and cream, ready for when the neighbours come round for tea.
2. When you are sure no-one is looking, have a quick recce, to check that the prize is worth the effort.
3. Agility training will come in handy when you need to make the final leap up onto the table.
4. And when you've reached your target, it is important to remember that half measures are pointless.
5. You might as well just make a meal of it.
The only thing missing from this re-enactment is a shot of Human Granny's horrified face when she discovered the fate of her precious scones (and tablecloth). Apparently it looked something like this:
I can't wait for the new school year to start.
