Thursday, 6 September 2012

A re-enactment of Hamish's finest hour...

Oh I am so excited 'cos I am shortly to take part in Jazzi's Back to School Bash 'Table Snatching 101' class.

Now Gail is a stickler for doing one's homework, and has been most anxious that I go to school well prepared.

In fact she decided to give me some extra tuition, by staging a re-enactment the famous incident involving my predecessor Hamish the Westie, some scones baked by Human Granny, and HGY's best white Nottingham lace table cloth.

I am a diligent student, as you know, and this is what I learned about the art of table snatching from observing this highly instructive re-enactment.

1. It is important to lull the humans into a false sense of security, having them believe you are fast asleep in your favourite chair. Pretend to be unaware that on a nearby table lies a plateful of scones, generously spread with jam and cream, ready for when the neighbours come round for tea.

2. When you are sure no-one is looking, have a quick recce, to check that the prize is worth the effort.

3. Agility training will come in handy when you need to make the final leap up onto the table.

4. And when you've reached your target, it is important to remember that half measures are pointless.

5. You might as well just make a meal of it.

The only thing missing from this re-enactment is a shot of Human Granny's horrified face when she discovered the fate of her precious scones (and tablecloth). Apparently it looked something like this:

I can't wait for the new school year to start.


  1. HILARIOUS!! What a priceless re-enactment! Quite simply, that has made my (early) morning. Harris, I think will be a natural at this. He LOVES his food. And yesterday, I returned home to find him standing on the kitchen table. Yes, this is the boy that can't make it down the stairs as he's too small but he can leap onto a chair and from there take a leap of faith onto the table..... I smell trouble ahead!

  2. Hey I hope that Granny had some spare scones....... BOL!! That was sooo funny...... and mum hopes "fake" Hamish is washable..... but I'd be happy to lick him clean!!!

    I think we are a little jelly of that incident!

    Tail Wuggles, Rubie xxx

    PeeS: Auntie Lynny is from Wigan, near Manchester - so she is prepared for the "bbbrrrrr" weather. She is going to attend her nieces wedding and to see her sister, brother-in-law and assorted family. They are also intending to do a short trip to Spain to warm up a little!

  3. That is so funny! Bertie, it seems we are destined to hear tales if the dogs our owners loved before us. I'm often reminded of my predecessor's table snatching incident. My humans took "number one Golden Retriver" to an afternoon party - he was fine outside in the summer sun being tossed the occasional cracker by the guests. Then the host, in her dog loving wisdom, decided she wanted to take him (on a leash) inside her house .... he saw his oppourtunity, and while she was happily chatting to friends about him and how she loved dogs, he turned his head quickly and in one quick move swallowed a whole Camembert cheese off the cheese board on the adjacent coffee table (obviously to go with the crackers he had before!). Luckily the host, in this case, laughed instead of screamed, and everytime after that when they all visited they took her cheese.


  4. Errr Bertie mate, I don't want to do the proverbial on your bonfire, but did you notice that stuffed Hamish got all of the scones and you got zilch... just sayin'.... hehe! Deccy x

  5. Oh my this is the absolute best post ever! I love everything about it. The re-enactment idea is brilliant, what a lovey tribute to Hamish, (though I agree you should have gotten a few of those scones) plus mom loves, loves, loves cream tea. Though we reside in NJ we are in spirit residents of the British Isles. Mom has a tough day at work today and you have absolutely made her day.

    urban hounds

  6. Just thinking of Hamish brought a smile to my face. Great re-enactment!


  7. HOL funny Bertie. Great re-enactment, we loved it. Have a terrific Thursday.
    Best wishes Molly

  8. Bertie, Please tell me that you at least got to help clean up the mess from the re-enactment!


  9. We're laughing so much this morning that we're actually crying.... All that jam on your furs....

    Lily Belle & Muffin

  10. Haha amazing, well done!
    Lots of love,
    Indigo the Great Dane

  11. I bet Hamish is up to his tricks at the Bridge too. BOL

    Great re-enactment.

  12. What a thrilling reenactment! I've learned lots of tips I'm anxious to apply at home.

  13. THIS is a WONDERFUL REENACTMENT. I wish there was SOME way that I could Reach to THAT Height. I am really JELLY... Or Somebuddy is Covered with Jelly... I don't know WHICH.
    I am signed up fur Jazzi's Class Too.

  14. Oh that is the best re-enactment ever. I vividly remember the day we read about Hamish's little adventure. Good job Bertie and I have a feeling that you will earn a A+ in the class!!

    Jazzi and Addi

  15. Oh, man, that looked like funs!! I don't get many chances at food swipin', so I really need Jazzi's class! Thanks for the tips Bertie!



  16. Hamish was my best friend for a long time and I still miss him. However, I think he would have gotten a big kick out of your re-enactment of his famous Jelly Scones on the Tablecloth event (which I believe he was quite proud of even though he got scolded.)


  17. Hamish could do that with his short legs??!!!! Should be a piece of for you, Bertie!

    We love fresh scones with jam and cream.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  18. Thanks for the instructions
    Benny & Lily

  19. Bertie, that was a most excellent class and thank you. I took notes and made sketches and will try this soon and get back to you.

    Loveys Sasha

  20. Wow...incredible!!! The Scream at the end is just priceless!

    This is what I call world-class higher education.

    BTW, with helicopter parents like mine, it's virtually impossible for me to engage in table snatching activities. Of course, if I was as tall as a WFT, I would have a natural advantage...

  21. funniest post ever Bertie, this had me, the hubby and little stevie pup howling with laughter!! (Stevies was a mixture of laughter and complete awe!) xxx

  22. I think after that fine instruction you are ready to have a go. Please be sure to setup the flashy to capture Granny's facials at the pivotal moment.


  23. You are so funny! The next challenge, dear Bertie, is to get a camera of your own and take some shots of Gail during a similar exercise. All I can say is 'Phew! She has energy!'

  24. Oh Bertie, that is just the encouragement we need for Jazzi's class. Thanks for the hints mate. Funny, but we see that face quite a lot too. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

  25. Heheheheh...this is so funny, Bertie. I want to join a class too and teach a class. How do I do that?

    I'm back,

    PS Inspired by your Science corner, I am going to star one soon too. I am waiting to enrol more participants. Any recommendations? It will a class on Understanding Your Human's Brain, from a neuroscientist perspective.

  26. Btw, I have not had any scones in Canada that is better than the ones in England. i think it is of those few things the British got right, spot on. Hehe

  27. Brilliant lol, because you were so good sitting there watching Gail do all this reenactment did you get a scone :) I hope you did.
    Have a good week
    See Yea George xxx

  28. BOL Bertie! Bet Grandma wishes you hadn't attended that class Ha! The Scream gave a pawfect visual of what Grandma's reaction must have been. Hilarious!

    Waggin at ya,