Wednesday 21 April 2021

What I've learned about humans...

I bet I'm not the only pup out there who has learned a few new things about humans during this Covid pandemic.

OK, to be strictly accurate, I've learned a few new things about ONE PARTICULAR HUMAN.

For example:

  • Unlike dogs, most of whom are naturally wary of the grooming table, it seems that the lack of availability of hairdressers causes a certain amount of anguish, even among humans whom one normally thinks of as not too fussy about their appearance.
  • If a human was never, pre-pandemic, a fan of domestic pursuits such as decorating and gardening, then even if they suddenly have infinite time on their hands and nowhere to go, they are unlikely to become enthusiastic about these activities.
  • The human might, however, display hitherto unsuspected talents when it comes to legalistic interpretations of new rules design to reign in other activities which they actually enjoy. For example, they might point out how a rule decreeing outdoor exercise (e.g. cycling, dog-walking) must begin and end not more than five miles from the city boundary is silent on where one ventures between the beginning and end of said ride or walk.
  • Through spying on the human's electronic messages, one learns that there is among any human friendship group a 'hierarchy of obedience' and that it is not always easy to predict which humans will slavishly follow all rules and restrictions relating to the pandemic, and which will take an informed but more pragmatic approach.
  • I had previously understood that taking the dog for a walk was primarily for the dog's benefit. How wrong I was. We pups are just handy accessories used to justify restless humans' need for frequent outdoor exercise and a degree of interaction with other human beings in their front gardens or the park. Suck it up, pups!
  • Regarding food intake one's human can be quite disciplined (I gather this is not the case with all humans) but still be capable of creating time-consuming rituals to rival the Japanese tea ceremony. Er yes, Gail, your obsessive cup warming prior to pouring that mid-morning coffee of such precisely calibrated strength has been noted. I fear you might be turning into your mother...
  • However hard one might try to persuade one's human that sitting on the sofa reading books about or set in other parts of the world while snuggled up closely with their favourite dog is the perfect way to travel, one can see that the human is not quite convinced...
I could go on, but I think you get the gist.

Have you learned anything new about humans/your particular human over the past year?

'Before' and 'After' hairdresser visit


  1. we agree with you... the staff used us as the whitewasher to leave the house... it is a little uncommon to "walk" your dog through stores and da tax office, right?

  2. Well Bertie, we must say that Gail looks a lot happier since her visit to the hairdresser, and we can see that she's smiling!
    Yes, I was used as an accessory too, and an excuse to break the Covid restrictions, but fortunately all the local dog owners did the same! This time last year we were not supposed to go more than 30 metres from our front door, but my human immediately decided that this was ridiculous and we went on our usual walks.
    She did make a lot of plans to use the rest of the time wisely, and bought big cans of paint, and a new garden vacuum, with the intention of doing odd jobs around the place. Huh! as soon as restrictions lifted even a tiny bit, she called in a painter! Then our lovely gardener was allowed to travel for her work, so the vacuum is still in it's box!
    Who know how guilty she feels at the lack of accomplishments - she never used to be like this!

    Inca xx

  3. this is all very interesting, and Beau said to tell you he is the only reason his Daddy walks, and if not for him he would never walk. Mama is a differerent story because she walks with daddy and beau and by herself. My hair cut is between your before and your after. very similar, really short on sides but bangs MUST almost touch the eye brows. the good news is Beaus daddy cuts mamas hair, so no misses for her, the problem is her hair requires every 4 weeks to be the way she likes it but now it is stretched to 6 weeks because Daddy's knees hurt so bad when he stands. Mama fears she will be force to PAY someone to MURDER her hair, because hairdressers do not listen at all

  4. BOL BOL BOL BOL oh my goodness you are handsome, smart, wise and OBSERVANT. You indeed have learned a lot. Amazing what we all took for granted B.C. May 2021, I for one wanted to hug my hairdresser for 87 minutes after my first haircut in 4 months of shagginess. Gail and I have the same issue long bangs obstructing our view.
    Hugs and thanks for sharing your insights.

  5. Yes, Bertie, our pups are aware of how the pandemic has changed me—or not. Never interested in gardening or baking, I don't have those interests now. Probably the result of living on a sail boat for 16 years (no yard). Sadly, unlike Gail, I still work full-time, although at home. But, like Gail, I enjoy reading books that take me far away, for me, to another time in history. Dated though they may be, I am enjoying the Duc de Richleau series (largely 1930s) by Dennis Wheatley. I also admire Gail's legal interpretation (that being my field). I find her reasoning elegant. You are an observant pup, my friend. /Fay, the cardis2, not3 (sadly Tali left us in February) and the New Spoo

  6. Hari OM
    Bertie lad, I know that while Gail may have found elasticity in regs, she did so always with safety in mind - but it is interesting to find out just what coping mechanisms appear when required, is it not?! Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

  7. You are a very observant boy, Bertie. We love Gail's hair before and after. It's such a cute style for her! I wish my mom would do more reading and less puzzling.

  8. You are a very observant pup, Bertie. We concur with all your findings but are lucky that around here we didn't have restrictions on how far our humans could roam.

  9. My favorite is the legalistic interpretation of needing to start and end exercise within 5 miles of your home. I never knew that Gail could be so devious!!!!

  10. I bow to your superior intellect in ability to interpret.

  11. Dear Bertie, I love this post. The two things I noticed about my human during NZ's first lockdown last year were 1. She borrowed my dog grooming scissors and tried unsuccessfully to cut her own fringe... the result was lots of laughing! 2. Her fruit and vegetable gardening efforts increased. She usually tries to reduce the amount of chemical sprays on her food, but realized the unpackaged fruit and veg in the supermarket was often handled by many strangers (as they touched it to see if it was ripe, etc.) with hands that had been sneezed on or touched unwiped trolley handles. Pre-Covid she saw someone sneeze on their hand then put back tomatoes from their trolley for others to eat. I think she is borderline OCD, but she now smiles whenever she brings in food she has grown and hasn't got scurvy yet. As for me, I'll still eat any food given to me from anyone's washed or unwashed hands!. Woofs, Enzo.

  12. A wonderful list! I agree with all of the points, especially the dog walking point! I'm a husky who loves to walk, but at some point my mom was just wearing me more long walks! Can't we just once just go around the block?

    PS Gail's hair looks nice!

    Your exhausted friend Rosie