Out of every crisis comes an opportunity.
Did you see this in the papers? https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/sep/25/any-breed-could-do-it-dogs-might-be-covid-testers-best-friend
So dogs have been trained to sniff out people with Covid-19. A job that would surely suit me. Here's my application.
Name: Bouncing Bertie (Kennel Club name: Granddach Beinn Alligin)
Breed: Fox terrier (wire-haired)
Age: 10 years 8 months
- Sniffing trees, lamp posts, and everything else that comes my way
- Er, more sniffing
Look, if that spaniel above can do the job, then so can I. We have a spaniel living next door and frankly she's not that smart. Regarding the sniffing business, visitors to my house over the years will attest that I am particularly attentive to male human feet, with or without socks. Also I am an experienced international traveller, so would feel right at home in, say, an airport or ferry terminal, checking people as they enter the UK (something our government has, to date, signally failed to do). Being a terrier, I am quite a persistent wee chappie, and eager to learn. Please note, that thing about old dogs and news tricks is a bunch of lies! But I would like to point out I am well past the stage of life when I would annoy strangers by nipping at their ankles. Of course, I would expect to be appropriately, no generously, rewarded for my efforts - slivers of finest Aberdeen Angus fillet steaks at each break time, at a minimum. My owner is retired so has plenty of time to assist in my training. The fact that I once was a finalist in the Ambassadog for Scotland competition is surely a point in my favour too. Oh and did I mention I'm pretty good at sniffing?
I look forward to receiving a job offer shortly...