Wednesday 3 June 2020

New guidelines needed please!

It's amazing, isn't it, how joy at the (very limited in Scotland) easing of lockdown can so quickly lead to new and unforeseen trauma.

You've probably heard enough about all the confusing rules governing who can do what, when, where and how. But it seems to me there have been some glaring omissions in our guidelines.

For example, imagine my horror when Gail announced that she was heading off on Sunday morning for a bike ride and picnic with her friend Kirsty and that I was not invited! Should there not be a rule stating that humans are banned from leaving their pups at home while they go gallivanting all over the place in the sunshine* with their human pals?

It didn't help when Gail showed me some photos of the spot where they stopped for sandwiches.

Then, the next day, after taking me for a two mile walk first thing, Gail set off on her bike again, this time with swimsuit under her shorts and tee shirt, towel in her pannier, cheerily saying "see you in a bit Bertie, it's important to seize the moment, this weather's not going to last". She returned home a couple of hours later, all euphoric, exuding a faint whiff of the River Dee.

What's worse is she told me how a yellow Labrador (and some other humans) had joined her in the river for a swim.

It is totally beside the point that I only ever go in the water to paddle and don't like getting my tummy wet. I would have been quite happy wandering around by myself on the riverbank stealing from other folks' lunch boxes. So how is it that Gail was allowed to leave me behind again?

Please Mrs Scottish First Minister Sturgeon, can you publish some better guidelines?

Thank you Nicola, that's much better.


*Gail says: here in the UK, lockdown has coincided with the sunniest spring on record, although all that has now changed.


15 comments:

  1. we think you should be always included... well maybe not for the swimming event, we would pass that without a word hahahahaha

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  2. Oh yes! Mrs Scottish First Minister Sturgeon has got the right idea for sure!

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  3. Well, Bertie, we're at a loss to know why Gail leaves you behind! It just isn't right, and I can definitely agree that you should have the chance to steal a morsel or two from lunch boxes! I'd be right behind you!

    Love,
    Inca xx

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  4. Hari OM
    Bertie lad, it's scandalous. It seems your Gail, along with many around here I may say, is willing to stretch the guidelines as far as possible to her advantage and in that 'release euphoria', has forgotten her role as dog owner and carer!!! I hope that the 'honeymoon' period of release will drop from her soon and you will again have her full attention. Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

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  5. Bertie...oh OMDs this calls for an emergency session of K9's United! Surely Gail has been inside to long which cased a temporary (I hope) lapse in judgement. You might need to get Nicola on the phone. On a more positive note I like the photo of Gail with the sunbeam on her.
    Hugs Cecilia

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  6. That is NOT RIGHT at all!! I think it surely MUST be against the law already, Bertie. Maybe you should report her?

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  7. We are on your side Bertie. Gail should invest in a basket or one of those trailer things for her bike so you can ride along with her.

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  8. Now, Bertie lad, be honest, was it the company you were missing....or the picnic sandwiches?

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  9. OMD...the nerve of Gail, leaving you at home!!
    xoxo,
    Rosy, Jakey & Arty

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  10. Nicola should have made that clear at the beginning of the easing of lockdown. The phrase 'taking advantage of the good weather' SHOULD have meant DOGS need to get out!!!!

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  11. We are speechless. We can't believe how easily, after weeks of only caring about her well being, you were left behind. Sigh! Hailey is like you Bertie doesn't like a wet belly.

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  12. I don't think humans should ever go off on their own. We are their seeing eye guides for things that can't be seen.

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  13. That is the BEST rule that I can imagine!!!!! Go, Bertie, Go - get it passed!

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  14. Why Bertie to have the house to yourself why think of all the snooping you could do while Gail is away.
    Your Friend
    Sweet William The Scot

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  15. It sound like she had a great outing without you! How is that even possible???

    Kiki and Rosie

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