New guidelines needed please!

It's amazing, isn't it, how joy at the (very limited in Scotland) easing of lockdown can so quickly lead to new and unforeseen trauma.

You've probably heard enough about all the confusing rules governing who can do what, when, where and how. But it seems to me there have been some glaring omissions in our guidelines.

For example, imagine my horror when Gail announced that she was heading off on Sunday morning for a bike ride and picnic with her friend Kirsty and that I was not invited! Should there not be a rule stating that humans are banned from leaving their pups at home while they go gallivanting all over the place in the sunshine* with their human pals?

It didn't help when Gail showed me some photos of the spot where they stopped for sandwiches.

Then, the next day, after taking me for a two mile walk first thing, Gail set off on her bike again, this time with swimsuit under her shorts and tee shirt, towel in her pannier, cheerily saying "see you in a bit Bertie, it's important to seize the moment, this weather's not going to last". She returned home a couple of hours later, all euphoric, exuding a faint whiff of the River Dee.

What's worse is she told me how a yellow Labrador (and some other humans) had joined her in the river for a swim.

It is totally beside the point that I only ever go in the water to paddle and don't like getting my tummy wet. I would have been quite happy wandering around by myself on the riverbank stealing from other folks' lunch boxes. So how is it that Gail was allowed to leave me behind again?

Please Mrs Scottish First Minister Sturgeon, can you publish some better guidelines?

Thank you Nicola, that's much better.

*Gail says: here in the UK, lockdown has coincided with the sunniest spring on record, although all that has now changed.