Wednesday 13 May 2020

Roberto, il parrucchiere che rimbalza

Well you know things are getting bad when even Gail, not notably the best groomed human on the planet, is looking slightly anxious on learning that hairdressers in the UK will not be opening until 4th July at the earliest*.

Fret not Gail, Bertie to the rescue! I have opened my very own hairdressing salon...

I understand that your regular hairdresser Federico is Italian. So to help you feel at home I have, for professional purposes, adopted a new name, 'Roberto, il Parrucchiere che Rimbalza' (which, if Google Translate is to be believed, means 'Bertie the Bouncing Hairdresser').

My salon is well equipped with stripping knives, thinning scissors, pinking shears, combs and all the necessary accoutrements for a smart fur hair cut. All thoroughly sanitised with my very own undiluted saliva.

Now if you would just like to lie down on the rug so I can reach, and I'll give you a nice chew to keep you occupied while I get to work. 

And no, I'm sure my lack of opposable thumbs won't be a handicap.

Maybe you want your highlights re-touched too? Absolutely not a problem. 

Er Gail, surely you're not heading out on your bicycle again are you....? You know your hair looks a mess! 

*Gail says: the way things are going, it could be even later in Scotland when hairdressers are allowed to reopen, which conjures up the interesting prospect of Scots making special trips across the border for an illicit English haircut!


  1. can you do nails too?... da phenny looks like one of this wise men of india BOL

  2. Hari OM
    Bertie lad, if only Gail could emulate Macs 1 and 3, who happily take the shears to their own furs - errr, hairs - and very successfully too! Mac 2 and I have lengthy locks anyway, and all we do is trim the ends from time to time. Much less fuss... Perhaps Gail could get the sewing machine operational again and produce an Alice Band or three for herself? YAM xx

    1. No way is Gail going to wear an Alice band!!!!

  3. Give it a go, Bertie! You will make a fabulous hairdresser!

  4. Bertie..."stripping knives, thinning scissors, pinking shears" you say? To Gail have one word.
    I bet the stripping knives will work wonders on her 'fringe'!!! Supposedly salons are in phase 2 of NC opening which is said ...(a long four letter word with various meanings)to begin May 22. We shall see.
    My friend complimented a lady on her homemade masks with hearts on it. The lady said I have to have cute masks to draw attention away from my bad hair.
    Hugs Cecilia

  5. Had to look up Alice Band. I had not idea those things had a name. What is even worse is an Alice Band and a man bun on the same person!!
    Hugs cecilia

  6. Well Bertie, you did your best! It was very kind of you to offer to cut Gail's hair, and I'm sure you would make a good job of it. Who knows - you might even be able to be a hairdresser full time, when all this is over!
    This week we started into Phase 1, but it doesn't seem too different, though we do see more doggies and their owners on our walks.
    We can go to the hairdresser - but only with an appointment that we've made over the telephone! My human says she's just going to keep snipping bits off!

    Inca xx

  7. We don't understand why Gail would refuse your services. Our mom who normally wears her hair short is resigned to the fact that she is growing her hair out for the duration.

  8. Mama says hats are totally in vogue right now...especially since, like Scotland, California hairdressers may be the final thing to open here(also July or later).

    Rosy, Jakey & Arty

  9. LOL! We were wondering if you were going to give her a chew for the duration. Wonder why she suddenly decided to take a bike ride?

    HER hairdresser didn't close. Just had half staff and everything spaced out. Sometimes there are advantages of living in the middle of nowhere.

  10. Lady is going totally all natural with her hair (the inches of grey and all). She says she can't be worried about that. She may break down and shave it one day lol.

  11. We have told Mommy we will do her roots for her but so far she isn't desperate enough to do it.

  12. Oh Bertie! We need some of that undiluted saliva because we can't find any bleach in the stores. Can you send us some?

    I hear that hairdressers are opening here soon but I think it's foolish.

  13. No haircuts here either Bertie, we mean Roberto, il Parrucchiere che Rimbalza,
    can you come do our mom's?
    Mabel & Hilda

  14. Our mom is glad she decided to go gray last year, so at least she doesn't have to worry about coloring her hair! But it is getting pretty darned long and shaggy!

    Kiki and Rosie