Thursday 5 January 2017

Pre-chewed biscuit

Gail has pointed out that I have been very remiss in not telling you about Human Granny who, after all, was the main reason we spent the Christmas period in Nottingham.

Well I am so pleased to report that she remains in good spirits, and was able to come with Gail and me to visit Human Uncle Max and his family (poodles included) on Christmas day.

I also visited HGY's care home several times, and enjoyed getting to know some of the other residents.

There is a corner of the living room where the old ladies who are "not quite so on-the-ball as Human Granny" sit. This area, I've learned, is always worth a good nose around.

One morning I timed my tour of duty to perfection and arrived just as coffee and biscuits were being served. A nice lady patted me and gave me half a Custard Cream. So then the lady next to her decided she too wanted to give me a treat, and kindly attempted to toss an already part-masticated Bourbon biscuit in my direction. I hope no-one thinks I am being guilty of "girls can't throw" gender stereotyping when I tell you that this particular resident was not accurate in her aim. So the goo-ified biscuit landed in the other lady's lap. How fortunate that I was on hand, ready and willing to jump up and promptly dispose of the sticky mess.

Gail adds: And how fortunate also that no coffee was spilled and that the care assistant supervising operations had a GSOH. 


  1. LOL.... my dad has this theory about girls and throwing too... specially after the mam threw the running egg at his knee :o) I'm glad your granny feels good and could visit your uncle max with ya :o)

  2. Oh well done Bertie, pawfect way to save everyone's embarrassment and to get your biscuit
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

  3. Wow Bertie - those Poodles are great big dogs! You must have has wonderful Christmas with Human Granny there too.
    Our humans tell a similar story about their first dog, Sultan (he of the longest no-pee endurance record). They would visit human Grandma in her care home, and the old ladies would save their biscuits for him. He was very polite and used to sit and offer them a paw before taking it ! Some of the offerings were a bit soggy, but he always said a soggy offering was better than nothing !

  4. Food is food, and you get extra points for cleaning the other ladies dress. We hope Gail also displayed a GSOH at the time as I'm sure your antics made the biscuit thrower happy!

  5. Bwahaahaa! We sometimes get the chewed gristle off meat. As long as it'd food, we don't care. We're always ready to help clean up. Good work.

  6. Crikey Bertie ... Way to go mate! Those care homes are great places, aye? I even managed to score a few chocolates one day from one of my Nan's not so with it friends. I think it's all stories our humans tell us about chocolate not being good for us just so they can have it all to themselves. I wasn't even a little bit sick. Maybe you could look into that chocolate thing for us in your new position as Scientific officer.

  7. MOL MOL MOL MOL Bertie well at least you didn't pull a Hamish by jumping on the lacy tablecloth to retrieve a biscuit. Mom still chuckles when she thinks of that.
    HG looks very happy and WHAT a smile. Looks like you are getting on well with the poodle cousins. I'm sorry I'm a ::cat:: What is a GSOH?
    Hugs madi your bfff

  8. Gus and I loved visiting the elders at the home where our aunt Marie Lived. We developed our "Virtual Vacuum Cleaner" routine specializing in crumbs and chunks, and were never hungry when we visited. Then the muzzer decided it was rude to sniff the floor before greeting our hosts and hostesses, and we were not allowed off lead until we said "hello" and got our scritches and scratches. Still not a bad deal. Good Luck.

    Teka Toy

  9. WE are THRILLED to hear that your HG was able to spend Fabulous FAMILY time with all of you... BUTT we gotta ask... the SHIRT.. the BLUE SHIRT... is that a STAR TREK uniform Shirt???
    Now about the Pre MOISTENED Goodie... THAT was so nice of the lady to fling it toward you... even if her AIM was a tad off. YOU still Scored it.

  10. You are hilarious!! Those older ladies who are not on the ball usually give out foodables
    Lily & Edward

  11. OMD, that is a good one! You knows, Ma says that the older ladies are good for some foodables, butts the gentlemen are the bestest! She says they are suckers for us puppers! And she's right! I gets the best snacks from the male peeps!
    Ruby ♥

  12. Tee hee those poodles are super cute! And it seems human gran is a lot of fun

  13. Oh Bertie, you are one handy chap to have around!!
    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

  14. Does putting my front paws up on the counter and taking a piece of chicken and swallowing it whole count as being helpful? My humans did not display a GSOH..


  15. MOL ! Nice of you to help that clumsy lady ! Purrs

  16. Sounds like you found the best spot in the whole room - well done!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  17. LOL! Awww, too cute! You two are funny.
    Thank you for sharing. Keep up the fun posts! :)
    Take care,

  18. Great rescue, Bertie! What might have happened if you hadn’t been alert and ready to go into action in a crisis? Another true life story of how quick-thinking Bertie saved the day!