(STILL IN NOTTINGHAM)
Gail, please take a break from packing all those boxes, I want to ask you a question.
What is it, dear little Bertie?
Well, I can't help but notice that no-one gave you a calendar for Christmas this year, did they?
That's true I'm afraid. I'll have to buy one myself.
No no Gail. please don't do that. I am going to order one for you, although as it comes from Russia it may not be here for a few days yet.
Russia? Bertie, I am intrigued.
Yes, it is a Vladimir Putin calendar. I read all about it on the BBC website. Mr Putin is a nice man, and very good looking, don't you agree?
Er, I don't quite know what to say Bertie. What on earth makes you think that Mr Putin is a 'nice man' and that I might want his calendar?
Well look at his picture for November. Isn't it cute? And you know what the caption says? It says - I am translating from the Russian here - "Dogs and I have very warm feelings for each other".
Well Bertie, frankly, I am rendered speechless...
Oh and look, Here is President Putin in June, with a flower in his hand. No it is not a weed, don't be silly Gail. And he is saying "I like all Russian women. I think Russian women are the most talented and most beautiful." Really, he does seem a most sensitive chap.
Gail, I see you are still at a loss for words. Well how about the July picture? I suppose it is hot in Russia in July, as he has gone fishing without a shirt. You wouldn't do that in Scotland would you?
Gail, what is that you are saying about him being "better endowed" than you are?? Isn't that a good thing? Oh. Not in a man? There is no accounting for tastes I guess.
Well on that, at least, we can agree. Bertie, I just can't wait for the calendar to arrive...
Bertie I learnt that calenders are overrated... my momma had six (6!!!) and missed efurry impawtant event... I would buy that Putin-lendar too... maybe there is a photo of Merkels scary face too as he welcomed her with his black lab-girl?ReplyDelete
That is hilarious and a one of a kind BertieReplyDelete
Lily & Edward
BERTIE MY MOM HAS FALLEN OUT OF HER CHAIR HER EYES ARE LEAKING AND SHE CAN HARDLY BREATH FROM LOLING. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY TOO FUNNY.ReplyDelete
WE THINK MR. PUTIN WAS A FORMER CHIPPENDALE MAN!
HUGS MADI YOUR BFFF
He loves dogs, flowers, and women. He MUST be a heck of a guy!ReplyDelete
WE think that Pawhaps there was some Money exchanging Paws.... that guy MUST have paid SOMEBUDDY off to get those pics...ReplyDelete
Ugh...I can hardly keep my morning yogurt down...ReplyDelete
.......!!!......... Bertie lad, you only have Gail's need to keep the days in the right order in mind, is it not? Pawhaps the distraction of TAvarisch Putin would interfere in this regard?.......(Gail; it might make good origami boats for the Duthie pond...) hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx
Mom said man boobs are never attractive. Maybe you can color a shirt on him?ReplyDelete
Murphy & Stanley
BOL!! My Mama says thanks Bertie, now she may have nightmares tonight BOL!!ReplyDelete
Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo
Apparently, he and Donald Trump have a mutual admiration society going. Maybe you can Get a Trump calendar for another room.ReplyDelete
Even Bertie would consider that a step too far...Delete
I have a felling that Torridon would be right up Vlad's (can I call him Vlad?) street G+B. All that outdoorsy living. Why not invite him as a house guest for a few days? As for the gift... Bertie is such a thoughtful little fellow.ReplyDelete
Bertie, don't get your self on Putin's watch list! Apparently, that does not be a good thing!ReplyDelete
Boy, I had a lot of catching up to do! Glad to see you had a nice, if somewhat odd, Christmas. I had a very busy one with lots of people around but I do like to be the centre of attention!
Hey, next time you visit Appleby you should mozy a bit further across to me!