Friday, 30 October 2015

FFHT: Bertie's Halloween Nightmare

It's Murphy and Stanley's FFHT time again. This month's special phrase is highlighted in red in the tale below.
My sweetheart Addi

Addi and the Pies

Oh I was so excited. Gail had bought me a first class plane ticket to Illinois so I could visit my sweetheart Addi for Halloween.

Before I left, I had, of course, to buy Addi a present. I thought she might like something British. And meaty. What could be better than a steak and kidney pie?

So I persuaded Gail to take me to the pie shop. In the window, they had a special seasonal display of pumpkin pies. "Why not buy one of those for Addi," asked Gail, "after all she is American and they like that sort of thing".

But I was confident in my original idea, and strode on past, making a beeline for the steak and kidney pie shelf.

Gail still seemed worried.

"I do think you're taking a risk there Bertie. In my family we like offal, but girls can be a little sniffy about kidney and suchlike".

"Not my Addi," I proclaimed as I made my pie selection.

How wrong I was.

Really, I don't want to dwell on what happened upon my arrival in Illinois.

Addi was there to greet me at the airport. I could tell by the bead of slobber dangling from her magnificent jaw that she was expecting something truly awesome. With a flourish, I handed her the box containing the steak and kidney pie.

And her reaction?

"Bertie, what on earth is this? Oh yuck it's kidney! Eeeew. I mean kidney is JUST SO DISGUSTING. EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. And were you not aware that I had turned vegetarian? Don't you EVER read my peemails? The only sort of pie I like these days is pumpkin pie. If you had any imagination, that's what you would have bought me. Oh I am so disappointed, I really don't think this relationship can continue. I am going in search of a dog with better taste in pies."

And off she flounced.

Well my friends, as you can imagine, after that I never turned my back on another pumpkin pie.


  1. We know Addi is the love of your life....but really...saying NO to a Steak and Kidney pie??!!

  2. Totally agree with Bella, Roxy and Macdui. Can you have a serious relationship with someone who turned her nose up to meat?

  3. Hari OM
    OMD Bertie, tell me it ain't true?????? Addi and you?????? no longer the tank?????? I am sure you can think of something to win her heart again?????????? Some Broccoli Bonbons, pawhaps??? Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

  4. Ghouls.....can be very finicky and they change the minds in a nanosecond BUT turning down you very special paw picked gift....well that is just so............I don't know so ghoulish.mol mol mol
    hugs madi your bfff
    Hugs Madi your bfff

  5. PS
    I will eat anything that doesn't eat me first.
    MOL just sayin'

  6. Oh nose Bertie, what are you gonna do????
    I finks you'd best woo her wiv one of your amazing poems!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

  7. Oh boy, I'm glad it was just a nightmare.... and I hope Addi is still a meat-fan like you and me :o) Maybe a deep fried mars bar would be a better gift... just in case she isn't on a diet :o)

  8. we don't think Addi is the girl for you Bertie - any dog that would turn up their nose at a steak and kidney pie - just isn't a real dog :)

  9. Hey Bertie!
    Wow, this can't possibly be true! Your Addi would never give you up. I think you should grab a pumpkin pie quick and have it express delivered across the pond to her right away. That'll set things right. *whew* Great FFHT for today!
    Grr and a Spooky Woof,
    Sarge, Furiend

  10. OMD, I can't believe that Addi would turn her nose up at something as yummy as steak and kidney!!

  11. OMD, I can't believe that Addi would turn her nose up at something as yummy as steak and kidney!!

  12. Maybe you should have offered it as ewe de pawfume? Something lusciously smelly to roll around on?
    We would have loved it either way!
    Bonnie n Kenzie, hardy meatatarians who love a fragrant roll in the grass, mud, dead fish on the beach, cow pie, etc. as much as the next terrier!

  13. Hope that really was a nightmare cause we cannot imagine Addi turning down steak & kidney pie - or that she would look for another dog
    Mr bailey, Hazel & Mabel

  14. Are you sure that was Addi?? We really think she would prefer a kidney pie....hmmmm, we hope she wasn't possessed!!
    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

  15. Sorry chap, we thinks steak and kidney pie sounds delightful. Even Mommy said she would try it. And Daddy said as long as it didn't have any sort of squash in it he was on board. Mommy has been going crazy with the squash recipes this Fall.

  16. My Mom's grandmother (from the UK) made a great steak and kidney pie from what I hear. I can't talk MY Mom into making me one though. Hope you had a wonderful trip.

    Abby Lab in Chicago

  17. Uh ... Addi will forgive you, won't she? She has to!

  18. Oh no, we can't believe Addi would not forgive you!! Great story!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  19. I know..I was a bit taken back by it.
    Once I thought about it and knew that you picked that special pie out for me...I knew that I would love it.
    It was delicious and specially cuz it was from you and Bertie....there is NO other better guy for me cept you!!
    Thanks for the pie and coming to Illinois!!!

    Your girl

  20. I'm glad glad that once Addi had a chane to think about it she agreed to accept the piel Next time you should as some of the transplanted limes about things tha have double/different meanings over here. Mum still laughs when she things about the diferent meaning to words over here

  21. Apparently Addi does not know the old adage of "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth". Or perhaps we could say "Beggars can't be choosers". Just sit and eat your pie and enjoy the delicacy.
    Thanks for being a friend
    Sweet William The Scot