Monday 12 January 2015

My new role, science, and romance...


Greetings citizens of Blogville! This is your newly appointed Director of Scientific Affairs. I have been asked by recently inaugurated Mayors, Doods Murphy and Stanley, to introduce myself and to explain my new role in the administration.

Many of you know me already under my unofficial title Bouncing Bertie Boffin, and are aware that I have been striving to communicate important scientific matters in my own unique and canine-relevant fashion for several years now, having shown a precocious understanding of quantum physics and thermodynamics even before my first birthday.

To those of you who wish to verify my credentials, I would refer you to the 'Bertie Boffin's Science Posts' tab below the header picture on this blog.

In my new role, I plan to continue and expand my mission to communicate science, with a particular focus on public understanding and engagement.

Mayors Murphy and Stanley have suggested to me that, given Valentine's Day is fast approaching, I might like kick things off by tackling 'the science of attraction'. Leaving aside any reservations that this topic might be somewhat above my pay grade (remember I am the pup whose idea of romance involves a ride in tank) and ignoring, just this once, certain concerns about government interference in the direction of scientific investigation, I have decided to carry out some original and very serious research.

This is where you can help!

All you need to do is to leave a comment on this post, explaining what it is you find attractive in a pup of the opposite sex (or indeed the same sex if you are that way inclined, this department is pro-diversity, of course). Perhaps you might also like to comment on how attraction between canines differs from that between humans. If indeed it does at all.

Cats and other pet species are also welcome to contribute.

I promise to analyse carefully all the data provided and to write up the results in such a way as to provide useful guidance for Blogville citizens, all in good time for the 14th of February.

Now to work!


39 comments:

  1. We are action dogs, so we are attracted to pups that love to play bitey-face, chasing and mud wrestling. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

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  2. I like all colors, but I do has a distinct prefurence for pups wif similar ancestry (westies, scotties, cairns). Rodent killin experience is definitely a plus.

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    1. I's wiff Whitley... I likes da terriers, 'specially ones 'bout my size.
      I don't likes da pit bulls, cuz one tried to kills me.

      I duz like a pup who likes to give da rodents da ole shakey shakey, has terriertude, and comes wiffout a great white land shark attached.

      Dat last qualeeficashun is NOT negotiable.

      Delete
  3. Any one with a bucket and spade gets my vote.
    Luvs Freya Rose Blossom x

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  4. Crikey ...... Bertie ...... that's a tough one, mate!! I'm attracted to any pup with a bit of attitude. If you're a bit of a wimp stay away from me. I like Sheila's best and I like sighthounds the best of all. Runnin's essential!! Any pup I'm attracted to has to be able to run ......VERY fast!! Big or small doesn't make any difference but I HATE big black blokes. I think that's got something to do with Enid though so I don't think it counts, aye??
    As for the difference between canines and humans I wouldn't know. How the heck they see anything attractive in each other is beyond me.

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    Replies
    1. Translation: Charlie is gobsmacked ovfur Enid.


      End of story.

      Delete
  5. I luffs astronomy so any Pup that would give me the moon gets my undying affection!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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  6. Any pup that likes to hunt we say Bertie. Nice to be back. Have a marvellous Monday.
    Best wishes Molly

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  7. Hmmm this is tough. Tubby is attracted to long haired blondes, ie cocker spaniels, or at least he was in his youth his failing visions makes them hard to spot these days. Ping is attracted to any pup who will like still and let her lick his arm pit, yes that's her favorite activity. Bob feels that all romance is to great a risk and prefers to stay well out of it. Weasley likes any playful pup, sex is irrelevant, who will play with him but also let him be boss

    retro rover

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  8. I must admit my girlfriend Katie is a self proclaimed 'princess' she is a dog who expects to be treated like royalty - rather like myself - I guess 'likes' do attract :)

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  9. That's a pawsition whats literally made for a WHFT! I think the most attractive thing is to have sexy ears... no matter if floppy ears or ears in batman shape, ears are earsome!
    Easy Rider

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  10. Congratulations on your appointment to the Blogville Administration! I would have to agree with Whitley, seeing as I am a Cairn, that any color would do...but I am all for similarity (westies, scotties, cairns) and rodent deadening.
    Oz

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  11. Oh Bertie....you have a huge job ahead of you. I wish you the best of luck in your momentous task. I seem to choose my sweethearts from among the wirey girls, and I have had two beautiful relationships. As a young pup, I yearned after an Italian greyhound, which was why I was rehomed. That taught me my lesson.

    Teka is an equal opportunity girl pup, and right now her fancy is fixed on a large chocolate lab named Floyd. We pass his house and yard frequently on our walkies. Well, Teka does. I am now banned from walking by Floyds house, as I attempted to "protect" Teka one day, and my vet bill was quite scarey.

    Hmmm....love does strange things to a fella

    gus

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  12. My apologies for the missing punctuation.

    G.

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  13. We know for sure no one else is capable of holding such an important position
    Lily & Edward

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  14. CONGRATULATIONS on your Continued Appointment as our Scientific Advisor... I recall you Originally served under my Second Term as Mayor... Thank you fur continuing.. as you are Wonderful at the Pawsition.

    Now fur what we find ATTRACTIVE in the Fair Ladies of Blogville... I will let Ernie take over..
    OH YEAH... I got like 87 thingys to say about this... Based on MY ROXY...
    I like my wimmen to be PLAYFUL... and have beautiful faces... and be FUNNY and ORNERY and Adventurous and to have BEAUTIFUL FURS and GORGEOUS EYES and a Nice TAIL, and stuffs... SEE? My Foxy Roxy has it ALL... Eat your heart out guyz...

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  15. Hari OM
    Bertie lad, you are just MADE for the job!!! I know that you will measure, analyse and quantify all infos rightly and pawperly and that we shall have a report worth the reading at the end of it.

    What I can add to the subject is that on the whole, you four-legs are much clearer with your communications and are less inclined to get all cluttered up with over-emotionalism. Human relations are a WHOLE other set of criteria... Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

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  16. Well, I'm a little shy, but I like a dog that doesn't get all up in my face. Friendly, but not too friendly. And of course, anyone who brings me snacks is the best!

    Ruby

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  17. Well done Bertie! Me and Stanley like dogs that are REAL furendly and like to play a lot. I like a dog who likes to play ball with me too. Stanley likes a dog who likes to wrestle and doesn't get mad easily cuz his feelings get hurt easily.

    Mayorz Murphy & Stanley

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  18. I told Dachshund Daddy about your new role, and he said, "Wait. I thought it was understood that this has always been Bertie's title and role!"

    Attraction: size matters.

    (I like fluffy smaller-ish dogs. Big dogs require big barks.)

    Love,
    Tootsie

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    Replies
    1. But this is the first time I have had the grand title of 'Director'!

      Delete
  19. OH BERTIE MY BUDDY YOU HAVE OPENED THE PROVERBIAL CAN OF WORMS!! MOL MOL MOL
    I AM A SENIOR DIVA AND THUS, LIKE MANY 2 LEGGED SENIORS SAY WHAT IS ON MY MIND.
    I MADI(SON) DIVA. COUGAR (I'LL BE 13 IN MARCH) CAT...DID NOT HAVE MY FIRST DATE UNTIL NEARLY 12 YEARS OLD, THANKS TO EASY AND FRANK'S MATCHMAKING SKILLS, I WAS MATCHED WITH A YOUNGER TEENAGER, RAZ MY GUY.
    SO I'M STILL LEARNING WHAT ATTRACTS ME...THUS FAR HERE IS MY LIST
    1. HE HAS TO BE FUNNY
    2. HE HAS TO BE A GENTLEMAN
    3. HE HAS TO BE METICULOUSLY GROOMED WITH EVERY FUR IN PLACE...WELL AT LEAST WHEN WE ARE ON FANCY DATES.
    4. HE HAS TO BE A FANTASTIC DATE PLANNER
    (RAZ TOO ME TO ON AN OUT OF THIS WORLD DATE LAST YEAR...WE WENT TO THE MOON
    5. HE HAS TO LOVE LONG STROLLS HOLDING PAWS TOO.
    6. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST HE MUST BE OBSERVANT.
    I HOPE ALL THESE THINGS WILL HELP WITH YOUR RESEARCH.
    SINCERELY
    MADI YOUR BFFF

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  20. PS
    7. HE MUST WEAR A BOW TIE AND A HAT AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK. MEN IN BOW TIES AND HATS MAKE ME WEAK IN TH E KNEES
    HUGS MADI

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  21. We think you are just the intelligent guy for this scientific pawsition!!

    Dory is all about a sharp dressed man.....Us boys, we like a gal who can play with us in the backyard AND accompany us to fancy pawties!!!

    Smileys!
    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

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  22. Congratulations Bertie. You are the smartest dawg we know. I, Stella, like a rotund dog cause that means they have access to a grreat food supply. Also someone who enjoys car rides. I love car rides.
    Hi Bertie, it's me Rory. I would love to meet a girlie who is as tall as me. It would be fun to play lickie face without having to bend down. Also if they enjoyed licking (but NOT chewing) my feet, that would be good too. No worries, and slobbery love, Rory and Stella

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  23. Hey Bertie!
    Wow, this is such a perfect job for you! I think you'll be great and I know you've done tons for us already...scientifically speaking. BOL
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, Police Commish

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  24. Hi, Bertie and Gail! My first cardi, Charlie, chose Riley, a golden retriever/GSD? mix as his best friend. Every time we turned off the freeway toward Riley's house, Charlie would get very excited. Who knows why they were best friends, but when we encountered a very large coyote on our walk in the Golden Gate National Recreation Area, we were really glad to have a bid dog with us--even though we were still scared!

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  25. Well, here you go, for Me S.sus, bites was the answer, hes so great he lets me handle the yard and barking, he just joins me if it's serious. Bites here, Da Sus just struck a nerve right off, she came along and left me ato my self, and we just kinda warmed up to each other over a year, now she lets me share her dog house in bad weather, and we both share the Bed with Mom and Dad, wahta gal!

    The Mad Scots

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  26. Congrats!! Here is Shyla's view of which male dogs she likes. She is a super fast runner and loves to play rough - so she likes the same thing in her boyfriends. You should see how buff they are! She also likes dogs who like to snuggle up and snooze together.

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  27. Quite an interesting pawsition you have! Let's see.....I prefer a tall light haired dood (Stanley) who gives me lots of attention (Stanley) and treats and isn't afraid to say how he feels (Stanley).

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  28. My sister is a hussy and she likes all handsome boy dogs. She will flirt and smile with any stud. Short, Tall, Old and she really likes the young lads.

    I like a more demure gal. Aggressive girl dogs, scare me.
    Wyatt

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  29. Since I don't know any other Bassets, I have found my love in Emma the GBGV. She is beautiful and has long wavy ears. Humans don't do enough butt smelling in this dog's opinion.

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  30. Hi Bertie, Wallace and Samuel here. Uhm, I (Wallace) have a steady girlfriend, the arooootiful Miss Finn & what attracted me to her are her LOOOOONG legs (she is a golden retriever) and her shiny, aroootiful furs. Samuel on the other paw is currently single and hopes to remain that way for some time to come.

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  31. Romance, Bertie? Hm, maybe it has something to do with being neutered but I has never beed that interested in girls, sometimes they like me but i just try and be polite and move away. arran on the other hand, one sniff of someone pretty and he's totally gaga!

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  32. Bertie,

    I still remember my first love... we met at puppy class eight years ago. She was so cute - the same breed as me (a golden retriever) and lots of fun. Turned out that she was my vet's new puppy. We got to play and run around together in class. We literally danced circles around each other. After puppy classes finished I couldn't wait to get in the door at the vets to see her as her humans take her to their work with them.

    Do you think that is why the vet put me to sleep just for a wee while one day when I visited? A bit confusing as I was always the perfect gentledog, but apparently I was growing up. However it hasn't put me off seeing her... I still race inside and put my front paws on the counter to see if she is behind the desk, and sometimes we still get to say hello nose to rear and then do a little dance around each other and the humans in the room.

    Woofs,
    Riley.

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  33. I think that a Tank is a really romantic ride and I am attracted to guys that think outside the box and dont go for all the foo foo girly stuff. I do have a special guy in mind umm umm

    wags
    Addi

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  34. Oh my! Wells, furst, CONGRATS on the pawsition, I thinks Blogville's Science Department is indeed in good paws. Nows, about the attraction to Murphy, um, I mean, the opposite sex, he has to loves balls (and not just his own, if you gets my drift!). I likes a doggie who will fetch and jump and is furry....I'm not sure I could be attracted to those furless doggies...too weird for me!
    Oh, and I don't mind some terriertude eithers! Huntin' skills are a plus!!
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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