I think I can help.
You know all about how controlling your breathing is supposed to calm you down, or energise you, or make you altogether more brilliant, or whatever.
May I propose a useful four step breathing exercise for your human? One that will fit in nicely with your daily walks and make them a more pleasant experience for both of you.
It is important that the dog and human actions are synchronised as described below:
Dog walks down the street and then stops, preferably downwind of human, and arches his back.
Human breathes in deeply while rustling around in pocket for a wee plastic bag (preferably recyclable).
Dog performs his 'business' and poops out one or two neat little brown packages onto the pavement or grass.
Human holds breath.
Dog walks on just a couple of steps.
Human exhales slowly and in controlled fashion while placing poop in the wee bag, expelling surplus air from the bag and tying a neat knot to seal.
Dog and human walk briskly to the nearest dog waste bin.
Human breathes steadily and places sealed bag in bin.
I have to tell you I had a bit of difficulty persuading Gail that this post needed illustrating. You all found the pictures helpful, didn't you? And really, a reasonably self-confident person like Gail shouldn't be worrying what the neighbours will think about what she does with her camera, should she?
MOL MOL MOL BERTIE MY BUDDY THANK YOU FOR THE STEP BY STEP INSTRUCTIONS...THEY WERE GREATLY APPRECIATED. MOM CAN CERTAINLY USE THEM...SHE HOLDS HER BREATHS AT MY BOX. SOMETIMES I THINK SHE MIGHT FAINT. NOW SHE KNOWS WHAT TO DOReplyDelete
HUGS MADI YOUR VERY FRAGRANT BFFF
The things our Mom's do for us.....she knows this breathing technique quite well - now do you have any tips on how to do with the soft squishy poops - mom so hates to pick those up :)ReplyDelete
BOL, BOL spot on Bertie. We so know that one. Have a serene easy Sunday.ReplyDelete
Best wishes Molly
...but you forgot the most important one of all Bertie-lad...The intense oxygenation which comes to your readers upon studying the above steps!!! Laughter beats the lot.
That said, I commend Gail's confidence, your posing ability and - most of all - the very appropriate pointers to 'cleaning up' Britain &*> Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx
BRILLIANT BERTIE this is BRILLIANT as the noon day sun. We certainly think your graphic depiction was NECESSARY to obtain the Pawper... appreciation of the technique.ReplyDelete
Bertie - On this basis dog owners must get their exercise morning, noon and night.ReplyDelete
Bertie, mom has been teaching 'self care' to her students. We think she should include this bit. Thanks, man!ReplyDelete
-Bart, Ruby and Otto
We ALWAYS make sure SHE can fill her little bags!ReplyDelete
Hope there wasn't anyone watching Gail and filming. You may go viral.
BOL Bertie! We have trained our human to use the same breathing method.ReplyDelete
Riley and Enzo
Do you think you can get an app made for that? A little bit of music and you can sell them for $1.99 each and use GPS to mark the location of each deposit!ReplyDelete
Murphy & Stanley
Mayorz For All Paws
Bertie mom holds her breath during these timesReplyDelete
Lily & Edward
Crikey Bertie ..... where would our humans be without you tellin' 'em how to go about things, aye??ReplyDelete
Bertie you do realise our Mum has to do this breathing exercise 4 times. Mind you if we are feeling generous we have been known to make her practice this breathing 8 times in one outing!!! Hee hee.ReplyDelete
Your pals Airedale Molly and Monty and Welshies Taffy and Winnie. (Who have been called Irish Terriers and WFT's)
That was a great post! And the pictures makes it easy to understand. Even for humans. We had a case of "traffic jam" yesterday, so my humans took the deepest breathe ever as the mission was accomplished... sadly they breathed in without a security distance to my artworkReplyDelete
I am new here -- replaced Cody from Tucson who went to the Rainbow Bridge on July 25; I came to live with mum2 weeks ago. Apparently Cody rarely pooped while on the leash (she would wait til mum got to dog park and she was off the leash) but I go wherever and whenever I feel the urge. Imagine how embarrassed I was on Friday when I made my 'deposit' and mum was unable to open the poop bag!!!! I should mention she is in a wheelchair so it is not easy for her to pick up my 'deposits' anyway!!
BTW -- I LUVE your blogs
Thanks for dropping by! I'm told that my predecessor Hamish never once pooped when on the leash in the whole ten years he lived with Gail. Me, I'm not fussy about that, but I absolutely refuse ever to 'go' in the back yard.Delete
I've taken all manner of photos of my dogs, but I can't say I've got one of them in mid-poop! LOL!ReplyDelete
Best post of the day! We're laughing so hard over here (and Mommy is practicing her breathing.....)ReplyDelete
Lily Belle & Muffin
Yoga breathing all the way. Lee says that is what she practices yoga for ~ so she can hold her breath while keeping the city clean of my poops. Great Post Bertie.ReplyDelete
Thanks for being a friend
Sweet William The Scot