Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Can we move to the quiet coach please? (+HGD report)

It only takes one Glaswegian with a mobile phone...

Special prize to any of my readers who can offer an accurate transcript of this one-sided conversation overheard, at length, on the train back to Scotland.

Oh, and for those of you who care about Human Grandad - I want you to know that he seemed comfortable and no longer so anxious when I visited him on Sunday. He spotted me right away and smiled with his whole face and eyes and tried to lift me onto his lap. But Gail was worried that my 8.5 kgs weight would bruise his paper thin skin, so instead I sat on Gail's lap and let HGD pat my head and scritch my flappy little ears. Soon he drifted off into a world of his own, and then to sleep. Sadly I was removed from the scene before the roast beef and Yorkshire pudding dinner arrived. Gail tells me that, with her help, HGD ate all the meat and Yorkshire pud, but left the veggies and potatoes. Which would have been my approach too.
Guarding HGD
A quiet corner of the 'Skylarks' nursing home
And finally, I did get to meet with my wiry pal Horatio in Edinburgh on the way home. And I must say he was being quite the bossy boots. I think this wedding business has gone to his head...


  1. OMD, you two is so cute together.

    I think your HGD has a good approach to eatin' too.

  2. Well, we're out of the running for the special prize--even with the sound turned up. We think we recognised one word....

    We knew HGD would be glad to see you, though missing out on the Roast and pud is a bummer.

    XXXOOO Bella & Roxy

    Oh, I get a tepid dunk in the laundry tub. Roxy gets sprayed with the hose!

  3. even Bertie looked confused by that conversation. It bought back memories of my Grandad who was Scottish and has a thick brogue like that or maybe it was because he loved his scotch whiskey that he always sounded that way :)

  4. OMDs Bertie that is toooooo funny. Mom said she caught two words 'try and basic'. That was a very fast, thick accent. I expect if someone heard mom talk they would say the same thing. She is the fastest talking Southerner you'll meet.

    Ahhhhhh we are so glad your HGD ate a good meal and most of all got to scratch your precious WHFT furs.
    We know what you mean about fragile skin. Mom says my Gma's skin will bruise if you look at it too long.

    Lots of hugs to you and Gail
    Madi your bfff

  5. Bertie: Nope. Not us for translators. But muzzer says she finds the folks from York equally as hard to understand as Glaswegians (did we spell that right?)

    We love visiting our Aunt Marie too! And when we send muzzer by herself to visit, AM always asks about US, even though she forgets Muzzer's name.

    Love to HGD and all
    Gus n Teka

  6. WE are so very much happy to hear that seeing YOU perked your HGD up so much. We KNEW you would be good fur him. OMD he eats like WE do. FINALLY a PEEP with Good Sense and Good Taste. We should make your HGD our Peep Poster PAL.
    That guy on the train talked like he had a mouth full of haggis or somethingy.

  7. your HGD is so lucky to have you looking after him, Bertie.

    Edgar and his mum

  8. Glad your HGD was feeling better!

    How wonderful your train system allows dogs to ride free in the car! I don't think any of our trains allow dogs!

  9. I am completely clueless on the conversation. I am glad for you to visit Grandpa and that you got a nice scratch from him. Sorry you missed out on the good foodables.

    Loveys Sasha

  10. We can't make out the conversation. So glad HGD is doing ok and you got to spend special time with him.

  11. Hi Bertie,

    You reminded me that when I was just a wee pup (about your weight) my HGD wanted to cuddle me too, but he also had paper thin skin and bruised easily so the solution was a pillow then lots of big towels over that, so I could sit on his lap and he could cuddle me close. Of course now I'm over 3x that weight I'm not allowed on anyone"s lap, but my humans also sometimes put a big beach towel over my other HGD's lap when he visits, so I can be close, and put my paw on his knees without any scratches to his also delicate skin. I never minded the towels and pillows, as the smiles when each HGD cuddled me was so special.

    My human has also been wondering how Gail and HGY are doing, as changes and seeing someone you love in different surroundings (even though it is the best thing for them) can be hard, as she knows from how my HGY was when my HGD went into full time care.

    Sending you all love and woofs, and the admission that my human could understand all words of that conversation after having Scottish neighbors who were 12 thousand miles away from their homeland) .


  12. Oh Bertie, you were so patient with the loud person talking....Have you seen the Youtube clip with a chap mobile phone's the link

  13. Wow Bertie, if only we could understand that conversation :-) We think it's a good idea you sat next to HGD, not on him, but that's NOT fun to leave just as the food arrives!

  14. When humans get to a certain age they can eat what they want. Bertie's however do not enjoy this luxury.

  15. The man said something about waiting 18 months for something and it was garbage.The rest might as well have been in Klingon :D
    You are a good dog, Bertie. You bring smiles wherever you go.

  16. We're glad to hear you're bringing joy to HGD. That's probably why he's feeling a bit better.

    The mobile phone challenge is too much of a challenge. Rather than attempting the daunting task of trying to figure out what the gentleman is saying, here's what we do to cope with the (ab)use of mobile phones on public transportation:

    (1) use noise cancellation headphones jointly with music (wouldn't have worked with this guy);
    (2) change seats (not always possible nor practical but sometimes necessary);
    (3) play white noise on our laptop at top volume and tell people we're running critical computations for work;
    (4) start our own fake conversation and possibly pretend we're the other party in the real phone call.

    (3) and (4) have been banned in Mom's presence, though they are arguably very effective. DD has been able to disrupt the most annoying phone conversations with (3). It's more fun if you disable your keyboard volume controls because at some point someone complains to the conductor, who asks whether you can turn down the noise. Then you explain it's the CPU, which the conductor doesn't believe, and that's when he tries to politely press your "volume down" key... which fails to work. "I told you it was the CPU!"

    Now it's probably clear why this silliness has been banned in Mom's presence.

  17. Hari OM
    Bertie darlin' - how I have missed you and Gail and all my other blogpals... two weeks without etherwebs is just toooooooo much. It's not even here yet, really.

    Refocus YAM - how wonderful you got to spend value time with HGD again. I adore the expression on your face as you look over to the blether on the mobile... folk have simply no sense of air space these days. I got about half of it - embarassed to say I even had trouble understanding my aunt and uncle recently after so many years away. Mind you, I've got the Indian accent nailed... &*> Big hugs to Gail and Wags to your own good self. YAM-aunty xxx

  18. so sorry we have not been buy in a few days and Im so glad you got to spend tim ewith HGD I know you must do so much for his spirits

    retro rover