Sunday, 9 February 2014

What's wrong with my bark? PLUS BONUS VIDEO!

At agility training, the humans will always chat amongst themselves between turns, but I've noticed they are much less keen on us pups doing the same.

Most of the club members have owned more dogs than there are dalmatians in that famous film, so Gail, who has only ever lived with Hamish and me, often tries to tap into their experience.

On Tuesday night, while I was conversing with Willow Border Collie, I overheard Gail asking this:

"Do you think dogs' barks get deeper with age, like human voices? I certainly hope so."

I don't think I am being oversensitive in detecting a note of criticism here.

Phrases like "ear-splitting", "unbelievably piercing", "shrill and grating" and "setting one's teeth on edge" have, within range of my flappy little ears, been used before by Gail to describe my dulcet tones.

You know what? In my not so humble opinion, it takes one to know one.

And anyone who heard Gail sing along with 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot' while the rugby was on TV yesterday (actually, a flat croak would be a more accurate description) will call to mind that proverb about glass houses and stones…

My rendition of 'Flower of Scotland' was of course pitch perfect, although Gail exaggerated when when she said it was probably audible at Murrayfield.



OK, so you can now judge for yourself who has the worse voice….


  1. Bertie, I have been accused of screaming! As if...


  2. Oh how rude Bertie!! My owners describe my barking in the exact same way. What do they know!! Just make sure Gail doesn't enter any contests like "So you think you can sing.... !! " BOL!

    Tail Wuggles, Rubie xxx

  3. We're told to pipe down quite often....even though, like you said, doesn't work in reverse. Just another Unfair Human thing that we are forced to live with.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  4. Momma used to think my bark were high-pitched because all she'd ever had before were basset hounds. Den she met Finley . . . I may bark more and louder, but Finley are definitely higher.

    My momma are fond of saying da "shut up!" a lot, but I notice she doesn't . . .

  5. We must admit our Mom is kind of stunned for the opposite reason - in that we rarely bark. Now shelties are known to be 'yappers' so to have 2 of us that are very quite seems a little out of the norm but we say 'be thankful Mom'. But we do agree on one thing - yes a dogs bark does get deeper as they get older. Mom says on the rare occasions I do bark I sound more like a big old collie dog these days

  6. Bertie - Any dog who can sing Flower O'Scotland must have an angelic bark. Perhaps next time you could go one better than singing and join the Scots squad. They could do with your speed and agility !

  7. Up shut is a word often used around here Bertie specially when I want to go to the park or doing the important job of Homeland Security. We think you must have a bark with the perfect pitch. Have a serene Sunday and get in some big easy today.
    Best wishes Molly

  8. Hari OM
    Oh Bertie, sticks and stones... and I thought I heard something different when the bagpipes stopped blawin' on the anthem - spooky.

    But where were the team in the game? Only holograms were there apparently........ Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

    1. LATER TOO... do you know what, I think you have quite the duet going along there... could be a tie!! YAM-aunty xx

  9. Bertie, I too have been told I have a girlie bark. As if. Can I help it if I have no, er, manly bits to help me sound more manly? Also if anyone heard mum sing in the shower, we'd be taken away for cruelty to animals. Just sayin'. Bark away mate. Bark away. No worries, and slobber, Rory and Stella (who also barks like a girlie!)

  10. MOL Bertie...and the pot calling the kettle black...I am 100% sure your bark would be music to my ears. Mom often comments on the puny voices of some of our birds of prey.
    Hugs Madi your bffff

  11. We are sure your bark is perfect. Maybe Gail needs to get her hearing checked.

  12. Since my Brother ERNIE Screams like a GIRRRRRL... I can say that you have a DEEP BASS in comPAWison.
    We will NOT even Discuss Miss Gail's attempt to OUT Sing you with that Chariot Song...

  13. Not a bad bark at all, and it not that high a pitch, Mine is really high. Now Gail, weel she best stay we you two doing duets, cause you guys go well together! Kinda

    The Mad Scots

  14. Bertie, we hope you weren't casting nasturtiums at Stephen Bradbury...who won the FIRST ever Gold Medal for anyone in the Southern Hemisphere for the Winter Olympics, just because everyone else fell down? Bwahaahaa! We still talk about doing a Bradbury....

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  15. Oh dear Bertie, your bark sounds beautiful. It is music to my ears!!! love it

  16. Bertie, your bark sounds pawfect to me. Your momma needs to stop being so critical all the time!

  17. Why Bertie what is Gail's problem. Maybe she has a tin ear, because she cannot carry a tune. You just have to keep singing because Gail needs help.
    Thanks for beig a friend
    Sweet William The Scot

  18. Important Announcement for Gail only: Tonight a WFT was named Best of Show at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. Both Ludo and I think that it would be better if
    Bertie not be told of this and we are sure you will agree.


  19. I much prefer your bark Bertie. Although, I would not criticise Gail's singing if I be you or she might just stop feeding you. I is a bit worried about Arran though, since at training they say he sounds like a squeaky toy and I has to hang around with him. He joined in with flower of Scotland during said Rugby and he got the barks right in time.

  20. Also, I is saying nothing about my bark and the various things about 'not being able to hear myself think' that get directed my way.
    ~lickies, Ludo!

  21. We just got the Muzzer back from STL and are catching up! We think your bark is just fine! You sound a bit ore like Teka but we would perhaps agree that is a function of age. We like Gail's voice a lot. Do you get lullybyes at night? We got short ones if it is a short story that has been read.
    gus n teka