Spam or Polony?

So we were at another Agility Show last weekend, this time in Broughty Ferry, near Dundee. In between my first round (for which I scored an 'E', which stands for Excellent I believe) and my second round, (where Gail says I would have won my class had I been just a little more patient and not bounced off the see-saw prematurely) we visited Jim's* catering van, and witnessed the following scene:

Morag and Edie are evaluating the menu.

"Now then Jim, d'ye have any o'  tha' polony the day?"

"Aye, it's awa' roond the back. Just bide there a wee while Morag."

Jim disappears into the rear of the truck while Morag and Edie continue talking.

"Fit's polony, Morag?"

"Ye dinnae ken fit polony is Edie? It's, er, it's well it's polony, ken?"

Gail intervenes helpfully.

"It's a sort of processed sausage. My granny used to make us polony sandwiches when I was a child. I haven't seen it for decades."

Jim returns with some pinkish rounds of meat, to which Edie responds:

"Isnae tha' spam?"

"It's nae spam, it's polony."

"Fit's the difference?"

"Spam's affa dear the day."

Jim comes over all Monty Python.

"Spam, spam spam, spam, spam!"

Gail offers this:

"Did you know that spam is a mainstay of South Korean cuisine?"**

She is met with polite but bemused smiles, orders a bacon roll, and leads me away.

You know, I wouldn't have minded trying some of that polony.


*All names except Gail's are fictional.
**We are indebted to our friends at Retro Rover for this fascinating piece of information!