Interview with Madi - the initial draft ...

Gail, come and look at this, I have prepared my answers to Mayoress Madi's interview questions. Oh don't you just love this interview business, being asked to talk about oneself, to give one's opinions and generally to be taken seriously. It's such good fun isn't it?

Well Bertie that is certainly an interesting and positive approach to a process many humans find stressful. Can I please see what you have pawed? So, er, how many pages is that? Crikey! You most surely have a lot to say. Now let me read....

(Half an hour later, and Gail is still reading)

Gail, you are looking a wee bit worried? Frowning is not good for those wrinkles, you know. Is there something I need to explain?

Dearest Bertie, where to begin? I should I suppose congratulate you on the fullness of your answers. Both to the questions that were asked and those that weren't. If you were being paid by the word, then this effort would for sure earn you a lot of treats. However I think you should bear in mind that the attention span of the average blog reader, yes, even your readers, who are naturally of the highest intellectual calibre, does not normally extend to a post long enough to submit as a PhD thesis.

Gosh but Gail, what can I cut out? I mean it's all so very important...

Well now let me see (Gail flicks through the pile of papers). Your answer to the question 'who would you most like to meet?'  Perhaps the five page rant about wanting to be introduced to Donald Trump, simply so you could let him know what you feel about him ruining your favourite bit of coastline with his hideous golf resort is a bit OTT. The details about how you would bite his ankles and then work upwards are gruesome, overly graphic and almost as tasteless as his hotels and his hairdo. What else? Oh yes the lengthy section about your interest in the notion of gene therapy and whether there are genes that can be inserted into humans to make them better at buying dog treats and toys is not strictly speaking relevant to any of the questions posed by Madi, is it now Bertie?

Well Gail, if you say so...

I do say so. Oh Bertie, there's no need to look so disappointed. I'm sure you can deploy some of this material in future posts. But for this particular task, I'll tell you what, let's settle down in front of the laptop and together we'll try to write some responses that are true, entertaining, somewhat relevant and, well, a wee bit briefer...

For the final version of Bertie's interview see Madi and Mom's blog on Monday 10th June.