Saturday, 8 June 2013

Interview with Madi - the initial draft ...

Gail, come and look at this, I have prepared my answers to Mayoress Madi's interview questions. Oh don't you just love this interview business, being asked to talk about oneself, to give one's opinions and generally to be taken seriously. It's such good fun isn't it?

Well Bertie that is certainly an interesting and positive approach to a process many humans find stressful. Can I please see what you have pawed? So, er, how many pages is that? Crikey! You most surely have a lot to say. Now let me read....

(Half an hour later, and Gail is still reading)

Gail, you are looking a wee bit worried? Frowning is not good for those wrinkles, you know. Is there something I need to explain?

Dearest Bertie, where to begin? I should I suppose congratulate you on the fullness of your answers. Both to the questions that were asked and those that weren't. If you were being paid by the word, then this effort would for sure earn you a lot of treats. However I think you should bear in mind that the attention span of the average blog reader, yes, even your readers, who are naturally of the highest intellectual calibre, does not normally extend to a post long enough to submit as a PhD thesis.

Gosh but Gail, what can I cut out? I mean it's all so very important...

Well now let me see (Gail flicks through the pile of papers). Your answer to the question 'who would you most like to meet?'  Perhaps the five page rant about wanting to be introduced to Donald Trump, simply so you could let him know what you feel about him ruining your favourite bit of coastline with his hideous golf resort is a bit OTT. The details about how you would bite his ankles and then work upwards are gruesome, overly graphic and almost as tasteless as his hotels and his hairdo. What else? Oh yes the lengthy section about your interest in the notion of gene therapy and whether there are genes that can be inserted into humans to make them better at buying dog treats and toys is not strictly speaking relevant to any of the questions posed by Madi, is it now Bertie?

Well Gail, if you say so...

I do say so. Oh Bertie, there's no need to look so disappointed. I'm sure you can deploy some of this material in future posts. But for this particular task, I'll tell you what, let's settle down in front of the laptop and together we'll try to write some responses that are true, entertaining, somewhat relevant and, well, a wee bit briefer...

For the final version of Bertie's interview see Madi and Mom's blog on Monday 10th June.


  1. Oh Bertie,
    You just say whatever you want. These peeps just dont get it. I can still keep up with you even though I am living with Tom!! He takes good care of me and Jazzi promises to post pics so you dont forget what I look like!!


  2. Actually, the think the Donald Trump thing sounds very good. We'd like to add a bit.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  3. LOL the rant about DT. You should jumped up and stolen his wig Bertie. Have a super Saturday.
    Best wishes Molly

  4. Awesome! We can't wait to read your interview on Monday and see how it turned out!

  5. ok that interview is amazing, but I have to say I just love that scarf on you as well. Several years ago Norbert dressed as Donald Trump for halloween he wore a tie and a dog wig that was like donald's bad toupee for he won a costume contest

    urban hounds

    OH BERTIE YOU ATE SOOOOOOOO FUNNY. I should have asked you to prepare your own Questions. Yours are very deep and intellectual especially dining on the Trump.

  7. Me again... Moms iPad froze on her.
    Everyone be sure to meander over on Monday...Bertie is a hoot!
    You will love his official title

  8. Dang iPad I am going to kick it to the curb..
    Hugs Madi your Bfff

  9. Hari OM
    BOL! Oh Bertie what a cackle I had. But a I gotta tell ya lad, I'm on Gail's side for this one. Keep the draft though. I'm SURE there's PhD merit in the gene therapy for bonio donations!!! Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xx

  10. Bertie - Is that a bow ? Are you off to meet Mr. Donald in person ?

  11. Bertie I see that you have put a lot of thought and attention to imPAWtand details into this... just to have it QUASHED by the WORD POLICE. WHAT is UP with THAT??? SURELY she KNOWS that WE, your loyal and well versed readers, would be more than willing to spend 87 minutes or so reading your thoughts.
    We will be there for your MUCH EDITED interview with Mayoress Madi... and we await your Additional Words... to be EXPANDED UPON here at some other time.
    NOTE to SELF: never ask MOM to proof read my STUFFS.

  12. Uh, Bertie, I am replying to your note to be included in the Thunder Support Group. I think the very best thing would be just a brief note to the group about why you wish to join, since you do not have the fear of thunder or storms, nor do you get these storms in Scotland. A brief explanation would do and we will determine your membership.


  13. I'm very pleased to hear your views in La Trump Bertie and your plans for his flabby ankles. What a wise terrier you are.

  14. Bertie you always put a smile on our face and all your ideas are spot on as always

    urban hounds