Sunday, 3 March 2013

The knitted bicycle seat cover and worse...

There has been a disturbing new development chez Bertie.

Personally I blame Bronia.

This is me with Bronia and her husband Peter on a walk in Sherwood Forest in Nottinghamshire last month. Bronia and Gail have been friends since the Dark Ages. Apparently when they shared a flat as students, Gail was quite a keen knitter. (Yes, I am as surprised as you are, dear reader.)

So anyway, Bronia's Christmas gift to Gail was a "knit your own bicycle saddle cover" kit. Well we all know that my owner is far too fond of cycling. But I was pretty confident that her knitting days were behind her.

How wrong I was!

Maybe you are thinking "Bertie what is the matter with that (aside from the hideous colour and ludicrous concept)?"

Let me explain my fears.

You know the idea of a 'gateway drug'? Tobacco leads to cannabis leads to heroin then crack cocaine etc. My fears that this absurd seat cover might be an example of 'gateway knitting' were greatly compounded when Gail showed me the ball of wool left over and said "Bertie, perhaps there's enough here for me to make a wee sweater for you, how would you like that?"

Friends, please reassure me that I was being teased.

Just in case Gail was serious, I decided take matters into my own paws (and jaws).


PS Gail insists that I post these two photos of her bicycle on top of a big hill called Cairn O'Mount, which she claims to have cycled all the way up on Saturday morning, although I cannot verify that statement as I WASN'T INVITED TO ACCOMPANY HER.


  1. You will probably never talk to me again, but I'll say it anyways...I think you would look stunning in a little colorful jumper made from this yarn. Sorry, Bertie.

  2. Bertie I think you are correct in worrying about "gateway knitting". My mom has enough yarn to crochet me a sweater and I love being outside in as cold a day as it can get without ever getting cold.

    My mom wanted me to tell Gail that she thinks the seat cover is pretty.


  3. Dead it Bertie , too right. We have hobbies, peeps have us. That is it. Have a super Sunday.
    Best wishes Molly

  4. Okay - that is seriously weird - a knitted bicycle seat cover - that dogness you took matters into your own paws and destroyed the wool before it became a coat for you!

  5. Bertie, we notice that the bicycle isn't wearing it's seat cover in that photo toward the end...

  6. That is the most fantastic bike seat cover I have ever seen in my doggie years!!!! Tell Gail, it's brilliant! Eve would please like one for the unicycle (just joking!)

    Grace is also quite a keen knitter, and my human. My human is currently knitting a big shawl for a baby.

    Bertie, what do you think yo are doing eating the wool! My doggie-friend ate string and it came out the other end in the same shape and colour! Yuck!

    Have a great week, but I don't like the idea of a jumper for you either! I would run a mile!


  7. You know, some pups, like Juno and Loki at WildDingo and Shyla at Romping and Rolling in the Rockies actually get to accompany their humans on bike rides. Of course WE'VE never even SEEN a bicycle up close.

    Bart, Ruby and Otto

  8. Oh Bertie my mom just went all gaga over that very colorful and creative seat cover. Mom is all about bright colors and creativity.
    Well Done Gail!!!

    Geez Louise, Bertie I am in agreement with you tear that leftover yarn to bits before Gail gets any more ideas!!
    Hugs madi your BFFF

  9. I'm SURE she was teasing you. Your momma wouldn't make you such a girly sweater!

  10. Aww Bertie, I think you would have looked cute in a knitted would match the bike seat.

  11. Oh my dear Bertie,
    How smart are you to take control of that ole yarn stuff and rip it to shreds!! Gail should know that you are a NO sweater type of guy!! Thats what I love most about YOU!!


  12. We think Gail should knit a cushion cover that can be comfortably stuffed and fit on that rack over the back wheel.....just right for a WFT!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & roxy

  13. Lovely bi- seat cover, Gail. I bet that was fun, wasn't it? The offer is still open for the loan of the knitting book for pups. I also have a leftover ball that you could knit the wee lad a sweater. Its in a brown, tan, blue, all very manly. I am sure Bertie wouldn't have one complaint about it.

    Jo and Stella

  14. OK Bertie, Dad was happy to see another bicycling nut case. She did a fine job on the seat cover, and we think you would lokk quite the handsome lad in a kitted sweater!

    Your Pals
    Susie & Bites

  15. We are certainly Surprised at the ... ummmm CHANGE the knitted Seat cover made in Gail's TOY. BUTT buddy we THINK YOU DID THE RIGHT THINGY with that Yarn!! Today the Seat Cover.. Tomorrow the Frilly Ruffled SKIRT fur You. BUTT you nipped the problem in the bud.

  16. NOT INVITED?! What the....

    You need to nip this gateway drug in the bum right now. You took care of those extra wool real good!

  17. Pretty cool our mom knits but slowly and not very well and our dad is super crazy about bikes. Perhaps mom could knit dad a bike cover, he doesnt want a hat or sweater as he thinks it will be itch. DAd might think a knitted bicycle seat is a bit silly though

    urban hounds

  18. We think a hat made out of that yarn would be nice for you Bertie, BOL
    Benny & Lily

  19. Oh Bertie, I had a bit of a similar fright last year but the good news for me is that She can't knit a scarf let alone anything as fancy as a bike seat cover or a jumper for me! You will just have to continue hiding all the wool!!



  20. Bertie-
    That bright yarn might look nice on your fur. Maybe a jaunty cap and scarf :D

    Wyatt and Stanzie

  21. Bertie... Good work with the wool. Excellent Terrier tug dear boy.

    Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie

  22. Hi Bertie! Here's the link to the dog that gets to go for bike rides.


  23. Bertie, what's wrong with a sweater? Isn't it cold where you're at? OK, you do have a significant fur supply, but one can always use some extra warmth, right?

    Cairn O'Mount looks totally wotten waven!

  24. Not sure why the bike seat needs a cover; it seems to live in a nice, warm, dry kitchen when Gail isn't riding it and clearly from your photographic evidence she takes the cover off when she is actually riding. But we've learned from experience to just overlook mama's eccentricities; it just makes life easier on all of us. However, we second Scotsmad's note: don't eat the string! That can lead to a really nasty surgery that you don't want any part of, trust us.

  25. Bertie, as a human who has crossed the threshold of 'gateway knitting', I 'need' to make one of those seat covers for my bicycle, asap. But you did the right thing discouraging Gail from knitting you a sweater in that wool...