One of Gail's favourite Dolly Parton quotes (and yes I too was surprised that Gail knows any Dolly Parton quotes) goes something like this. "People have no idea how much it costs to look this cheap".
A related thought flitted across my mind at some point during my second hour on the grooming table (aka the table in our lean-to sun room) last Saturday morning.
As readers of this blog will have already worked out, I prefer to rock the natural look, in keeping with my rugged, outdoorsy, he-dog image. None of the fluffed up legs and closely stripped body, face and ears, wire haired fox terrier show-dog style for me, thank you very much.
But I'll let you into a wee secret.
I really do think it takes Gail longer to keep my appearance 'natural' than were she preparing me for Crufts.
I have complained before on this blog about being subjected to a DIY grooming regime. Although I cannot pretend to be happy about it, I have reluctantly accepted that this is how it's going to be, for now at least.
It just seems really unfair that I get the blame for the stripping and clipping business taking, like forever, when it's clear that the problem lies with the amateur groomer and not the groomee, and Gail's charge that I do too much "wriggling and mouthing" is about as outrageous as, well, as one of Ms Parton's outfits.
PS for readers in the UK - please DO rush out and buy a copy of the current (i.e. October) issue of Dogs Monthly magazine - it features an article Gail wrote for them ages ago about the joys of dog blogging. I am so thrilled finally to be famous, especially as I have been promised a special treat once she receives the modest fee.
Oh wowie, you got published!!! Well, Gail. Can we get the online version? I can't wait to get published as a first author. You know what that means in our line of work.
ReplyDeleteI do believe it takes more work to look natural like you. Probably why it is not common. You will accept our award and write us a story, won't you?
Science rules,
Sankissjuice
Holy cow!! You guys are famous!! Congratulations!!! I'm off to the newsagents to get a copy! Horatio wants your signatures!!!
ReplyDeletePs Bertie, I'm v impressed you stuck out 2 hours of hand stripping. I secretly think that the dog groomer gave up on horatio and that's how he ended up clipped!
Bertie - Was it Dolly Parton or Tammy Wynette who sang " I'd like to see Jesus on the Mindnight Special and have the Wolfman bring him on ?"'.
ReplyDeleteawesome you got published! nanook agrees - grooming isnt the funnest of things. usually because it means a showerhead in the bath and getting combed on the kitchen floor. very DIY
ReplyDeleteBertie we too do not like baths or grooming. We always make it as difficult as possible. Tootsie nominated your blog re-enactment Hamishs' finest hour for our 'Share It Sunday' Please let us know if it is OK. Pop over and just post a comment and we will do the rest. Have a terrific Tuesday.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes Molly
Congratulations on your article! We will see if we can find it here!
ReplyDeleteSam
Wow, that's great that you made it into print!! I can't even begin to discuss the torture that occurs here when its DIY grooming day!
ReplyDeleteWoo~Hoo, we gots a celebrity in the house! Congrat's on the article being published. That is just pawsome.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness Muffin and I don't have to get groomed like that. We could never sit still long enough.
Hugs,
Lily Belle & Muffin
Don't get me started on DIY grooming....... Yuch! I get most impatient and also a bit bitey...... Especially when my uncie and ma ditz around with scissors and clippers to an obsessive degree! However, as much as we both hate the process - you gotta admit that we look darn good afterwards! Don't let the peeps hear us admit this though!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your article.....
Tail Wuggles, Rubie xxx
Wow now you will be more famous. You should get more than a "little" treat. Either a big one or lots of little one. I have never ever been to a groomer. The joy of short furs.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Goose
Hey Bertie!
ReplyDeleteWow, 2 hours of grooming would drive me mad! My peeps hit me with the garden hose (thank dog it has warm water!), splash on the soap, hit me with the hose again and turn me loose. Shesh. I'm not sure which would be worse. BOL. Either way, you do look most handsome and that's worth a lot of work!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP
OMD OMD Bertie Congratulations to YOU fur being Published. Well, and to GAIL fur doing the Writing Pawt, also. THAT is fabulous.
ReplyDeleteI love to be groomed and I don't even CARE who does it. Just so it lasts 87 HOURS.
Is there a way we can read the article on line??? We'd love to rush over to buy it in person (dogson?) but mom didn't think that was possible right now.
ReplyDeleteAs for that rock that natural look, we too are subjected to the DIY approach. An hour on dad's lap for jacket plucking then another half hour on the floor for partial clipping and a final scissoring. But it beats the alternative, hours on a grooming table with strangers!
You look just perfect for your outdoor life and we're with you!!!
Wirey love,
Jake and Just Harry
I'm afraid that the article is not available on line. If you really are interested, contact me at soi718(at)abdn(dot)ac(dot)uk and I can email you a scanned copy.
DeleteCheers, Gail.
We get the DIY approach too - and we hear it might happen to one of us today. We even know which one and we, Lilly and Piper, are snickering about it. Our housemate, Argyle, who we hate to see go, will be leaving tomorrow. But he can't go looking like a black sheep so he must be bathed, clipped and stripped. We'll just watch while he endures...
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Lilly, Piper, Argie and Ivy
Momma said one thing that attracted her to boxers is low-maintenance grooming!
ReplyDeleteCongrrats on your article, it looks wonderful.
Gosh Bertie we are in awe. We are going to sniff out your article and have a good read.
ReplyDeleteStep this way for fame and glory! We here stateside are all yearning to read this of course. How is that possible?
ReplyDeleteWe feel such pride in you and Gail!
Kisses,
Stella
Congrats on being a star. Your grooming looks great, however from a doggie standpoint your header picture is how most of us prefer to look, kinka well used outdoorsie rough, Heeheehee!!!
ReplyDeleteYour Furends
Susie & Bites
Wow, Bertie congrats to you and Gail getting in the Dog Magazine, will try and get a copy :)
ReplyDeleteGrooming its just something us dogs have to put up with :( we like the shabby chic look anyway
Have a good week
See Yea George xxx
Bertie you should know by now they would blame us for everything. However you do look pretty good
ReplyDeleteBenny & Lily
You're famous!!!! Don't forget about us little people!!! Home grooming put my mama over the edge so I get sent away for that now.uch more peace in the house that way :)
ReplyDeleteSHE always enjoys a good interview with Dolly...she's always entertaining.
ReplyDeleteWe know all about that home grooming and trying to look natural. SHE feels good when people don't even notice we've been done. They think we're natural.
Congratulations, though we can't buy one, we'll bigify yours and have a read.
XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy
We remember Angus posting about grooming Wilf and Digby for hours and they looked the same.
Howdy Bertie, don't worry mate. You look rugged however your furs are. Mum lets me (Stella) have the natural wind swept look cause she is too lazy to do anything about it hehehe. Congratulations on the magazine article. Totally cool. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory
ReplyDeleteHey Bertie, Did it foam at your house? We just saw Aberdeen on the news and wondered what you did and if you saw all of the foam!! We hope you blog about it.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Lilly, Piper, Argie and Ivy
Oh dis makes me so hap-pee dat I's has short furs.
ReplyDeleteA big CONGRATS to your Mom on the article!
We're happy that we only need a couple of baths a year and no stripping or false eyelashes! We're proud to be aquatinted with a real published author!
ReplyDelete-Bart and Ruby
hey Bertie,
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to you and Gail for your published article! That is very pawsome! Well written and very interesting and fun! I hope it spurns on a whole new set of doggy bloggers! I have no doubt the modest fee will go to magnificent treats for you! ;->
I had no idea you were subjected to two+ hours of grooming. I am very sorry, Bertie. But I admire you for admitting it in public. I do think you look very he-manly being your rugged natural self, but I must say you do look very nice handsome after a groom. Great Dolly Parton quote!
Suka
Bertie, we DID bigify the article and read it. We, too, get more attention and walks so we have fodder for the post.
ReplyDeleteXXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy
I think that any grooming is bad grooming! Congrats to Gail on her article!
ReplyDeleteNubbin wiggles,
Oskar
COngrats on the article!
ReplyDeleteStop on by for a visit
Kari
http://dogisgodinreverse.com
Hey there Gail,
ReplyDeleteBesides the fun of seeing you sprucing up Bertie, I just wanted to say congratulations on your published article. I SO badly want to read it and can't seem to magnify it. (Maybe you could send it to me via email(?)- if you have the time (carylmoll at yahoo dot com) Well done, my friend!!! Is it available online anywhere?
I feel privileged to be your cyber-buddy :)
Lotsaluv
MAXMOM IN SOUTH AFRICA
Mazel tov on being published! We're going to get mama to email you for a copy. We both just shuddered, looking at you on that table with implements of torture. Jed might get a mild and rare brush out on his jodhpurs during peak shedding seasons, but Abby is blessed with short Boxer furs so being petted is all the 'brushing' she needs. Baths are a whole 'nother story, of course.
ReplyDeleteJed & Abby