Saturday 4 August 2012

Celebrating our Low Carbon Pawprint Olympics

Deccy's 'Tuneful Farting' contest today has set me to thinking.

About greenhouse gas emissions. Yes, we're back to science again. Hooray! Us Olympians must remember to exercise the brain too...

Well of course, I know you know that the average fart is 80% methane. And that methane is twenty five times more potent a greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide.

See how I did my bit to counter the potential climate impact of Deccy's particular sport.

But, wind aside, it occurs to me that the Blogville Olympics could teach the London Games a thing or two about saving the planet*.

Look at it this way.

Did we dogs and cats require some huge heated 50 m pool for our Swimming event? We did not. For example, a paddling pool scarcely bigger than a saucer sufficed for our dear friend Lorenza.

In the Cultural Olympiad, did we need oil-based or synthetic paints, or otherwise artificial materials? No, of course we didn't. All the masterpieces in Jazzi's 'Window Nose Art' contest were created using an entirely natural and self-generated substance...

Were special high energy diets required for Synchronised Snoozing and Couch Potato Peeling? Don't be ridiculous.

And then, how much aviation fuel did we burn up travelling to our events? Again, the answer is none, not one single milligram. Aided by Mayor Frankie's awesome organisational abilities, and the marvel that is the world wide web (hats off to Sir Tim Berners-Lee) we have come together from all over the world to enjoy a packed programme of magnificent events, all without the need to venture further than a Cross Neighbourhood Walkabout.

So step aside, organisers of the London Olympics, the games sponsored by companies ultimately responsible for the Deepwater Horizon and Bhopal disasters, we citizens of Blogville can hold our heads up high and award ourselves Gold for the greenest of games, friendly in the environmental and all other senses.

If only I lived with a human capable of designing a medal.

And if only Global Warming would make it up to Scotland...

*OK, yes, 'saving the planet' is a dumb expression, isn't it? As all geologists know, the planet will survive perfectly well for the foreseeable future, as, incidentally will the microbes. It's just us dogs and humans I'm worried about here.


  1. You are a very wise dog Bertie Boffin! Mum is just a bit concerned that our garden isn't big enough to hold a tank for all of mt farts... hehe! Deccy x

  2. Holding my head high, yes I am.

  3. Bertie, you have indeed made me even more proud to be participating in these events. Thank for your excellent post. Do I detect a Nobel Peace Prize in your future?? Well probably not, but still excellent observations.

    Loveys Sasha

  4. You raise some real points there Bertie. But I must ask you, Just how much fuel and smoke are you getting in the air from the BIG ole green Tank???? I am sure it isnt energy efficent!! Its a good thing that we buried that ole heap anyways!! Maybe you should drag out your magic carpet!!! I'm just saying!! Oh really!!!!


  5. Ditto Sasha Nobel Peace Prize for you Bertie. Have a great Saturday.
    Best wishes Molly

  6. Well said Bertie!

    Off to save the planet now one Tuneful Fart at a time....

    Lily Belle & Muffin

  7. Tee hee, Bertie you are so clever.

    Oh and we did know you were named after Bertie Wooster, that was the first thing that attracted us to your blog, our mom new your Gail must be a kindred spirit

    urban hounds

  8. Well Bertie, you might not get the Peace Prize, but I certainly think you should be in the running for one of the Nobel science awards.


  9. Never thought of it that way, well done Bertie for pointing it out.
    Have a good week
    See Yea George xxx

  10. Very good observation, Bertie! I think we should fire all the Olympic planners and put our own Blogville planners to work for the next Olympic event.

  11. Wow, we really did a grreat job! Thanks for pointing all that out.

  12. Well stated, usual. Love it. Hope GW gets to Aberdeen one of these days.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

    We think it's here at the moment, because though we have frosts in the morning the days are just beautiful.

  13. Astutely observed and well reasoned, as always, young Bertie. We share your concern for the future of the 2-legged and 4-legged residents of the Earth; the 6 and 8- legged and the no-legged will survive just fine no matter what the 2-leggers do to our planet. Guess we 4-leggers will be faithful until death, as usual.

    Jed & Abby

  14. You are one smart cookie
    Benny & Lily

  15. I am in on the recycled toot idea. I could power an entire city.


  16. Bertie - you talk so much sense. I think you should be Prime Minister.

    Incidentally, the LOTH says you should tell Gail that the shortcut to having a body like Jessica Ennis is to fasten an empty egg box across your stomach.

    Love and licks, Winnie