Deccy's 'Tuneful Farting' contest today has set me to thinking.
About greenhouse gas emissions. Yes, we're back to science again. Hooray! Us Olympians must remember to exercise the brain too...
Well of course, I know you know that the average fart is 80% methane. And that methane is twenty five times more potent a greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide.
See how I did my bit to counter the potential climate impact of Deccy's particular sport.
But, wind aside, it occurs to me that the Blogville Olympics could teach the London Games a thing or two about saving the planet*.
Look at it this way.
Did we dogs and cats require some huge heated 50 m pool for our Swimming event? We did not. For example, a paddling pool scarcely bigger than a saucer sufficed for our dear friend Lorenza.
In the Cultural Olympiad, did we need oil-based or synthetic paints, or otherwise artificial materials? No, of course we didn't. All the masterpieces in Jazzi's 'Window Nose Art' contest were created using an entirely natural and self-generated substance...
Were special high energy diets required for Synchronised Snoozing and Couch Potato Peeling? Don't be ridiculous.
And then, how much aviation fuel did we burn up travelling to our events? Again, the answer is none, not one single milligram. Aided by Mayor Frankie's awesome organisational abilities, and the marvel that is the world wide web (hats off to Sir Tim Berners-Lee) we have come together from all over the world to enjoy a packed programme of magnificent events, all without the need to venture further than a Cross Neighbourhood Walkabout.
So step aside, organisers of the London Olympics, the games sponsored by companies ultimately responsible for the Deepwater Horizon and Bhopal disasters, we citizens of Blogville can hold our heads up high and award ourselves Gold for the greenest of games, friendly in the environmental and all other senses.
If only I lived with a human capable of designing a medal.
And if only Global Warming would make it up to Scotland...
*OK, yes, 'saving the planet' is a dumb expression, isn't it? As all geologists know, the planet will survive perfectly well for the foreseeable future, as, incidentally will the microbes. It's just us dogs and humans I'm worried about here.