Thursday 19 July 2012

It gets even worse...

Earlier this week I told you about the cr*p so-called ‘present’ Gail brought me back from Switzerland (cheers Deccy for suggesting that most appropriate adjective….)

Let me tell you, that was just the start of it.

You know, I could just about accept the fact that my human was going off to visit her beloved but now elderly and wheelchair-bound godmother Doris in Luzern and that as she had to fly it would all be a bit complicated to take me along etc. I also understand that animals might not be welcome in the care home where Doris now stays.


So why then does the first holiday photo I’m shown feature Gail out for a walk, clearly in ENGLAND[1] and being unfaithful to me with another dog? And no Gail I am not interested at all in hearing about Billy's immaculate behaviour on this walk up St Martha's Hill, what a perfect chap he is, what big, expressive eyes he has and what a calm demeanour, why can't I be more like that and so on and so on ad nauseam. Grrrrh!

And why does the next photo, taken by Gail, show her friends Kathryn and Steve half way up a mountain on a long and clearly fox terrier friendly walk in the FRENCH Alps[2]?

Oh no! Here are some of Gail's photos from what she claims is one of her top five walks in the whole world, in Luzern along the lake between the Kapellbrücke and the Verkehrshaus der Schweiz.

How can a walk without me even be in her top five hundred?

Then I learn that in Doris’s care home some of the residents are allowed to keep their dogs with them – Gail saw a Yorkie and a Lhasa Apso when she was visiting[3]. So most certainly I could have come along after all.

And finally. I have it on good authority that Luzern is a popular tourist destination crammed full of shops selling fluffy and eminently de-stuffable St Bernards, cows wearing bells and whistling marmots, all excellent toys available at reasonable prices[4].

I could even have fun silencing a cuckoo clock, if it came to that.

Footnotes by Gail

[1] Surrey, actually. The flight to Switzerland was cancelled due to thunderstorms in the Gatwick area, so my departure was delayed for a day.

[2] Before visiting my godmother I stayed for a couple of days with my Surrey-based friends in their Alpine chalet in Samoëns, France.

[3] This really is true!

[4] I’m afraid Bertie is ill-informed about the Sterling/Swiss Franc exchange rate


  1. Yeah Bertie, I agree with's just not fair!!!
    It looks like Gail has had a fabulous time. Are you in the 'dog box'?

    ps That Swiss bridge looks exactly like the our that one of our 'girls' walked over during her trip to that alpine country...beautiful!

  2. .,Hi Bertie.,just enjoy this day., be

    Dog Fence
    Dog Containment

  3. Oh Bertie, we cannot understand why Gail would go anywhere without you!
    Humans are strange beings but we feel sure that Gail's godmother would have been so very happy to meet you.
    Our own human says it is rare for any care homes in the UK to allow residents to keep their much loved pets and she has frequently argued, to no avail, on their behalf.
    Bad enough to give up your home but surely not your pet!
    Meanwhile your Auntie Martha is ecstatic to know there is a hill named after her!
    The Aunties xxx

  4. Hay Bertie just give Gail a good dose of ignoring on her return. I can usually managed about two minutes before i give in with too much happiness. Have a happy Thursday.
    Best wishes Molly

  5. I've just got a Facebook page mate. Would you like me to post about you needing a new home due to the abject cruelty you are being subjected too? Really, it's no problem.. Deccy x

    1. Thanks for the kind offer Deccy. Would it be possible to post something about my plight without there being any danger of Gail hearing about it? I'm afraid that she too is an FB refusenik.

  6. Bewtie
    Those excooses by Gail wewe feebull at best
    Next time just stand at the doow and don't budge till she takes you along..i coold just pictoowe you sniffinf that lovely alpine aiw and I'm shoowe yoow pwesence would have cheewed evewyone up no end in that home
    Smoochie kisses

  7. OMD, how could your mom enjoy a walk without YOU?! The traitor! Every time Momma goes away without me, she does nothing but tell us what a miserable time she had the whole time we were apart. I felt really bad for her the one time she was stuck on something awful called a "cruise" while I got to hang out with my grandparents!

  8. Oh Bertie, that is just awful how Gail treated you by not taking you along! Next time you will just have to stow away in her luggage.


  9. Bertie - Don't they make dog treats in Switzerland? Small, easily packed and a suitable reward for a brave fellow who's been left to guard Aberdeen on his own . Just a suggestion for future reference .

  10. I think Gail needs.... (no can't say that)
    I think what you should do to her is...(no that is not allowed to be said Either)
    I believe that what needs to be done is...

    BERTIE... I can't come up with ANYTHINGY that won't be censored. THIS is just Terrible... I am STUNNED that you have be so ... mistreated my furend.
    If I (Frankie Furter) were there... I would POOP in every one of her shoes.

  11. Oh Bertie, most dogs are just happy to have their Mom back from a trip. So a gift is a gift, if you don't like it, just find a drawer to put it in and forget about it!

    When you think about why you are not invited on a trip, just think of the endless complaining you do about practically everything and you will know why you are at home. Try some thought control and some positive thinking. It may just work for you!


  12. Bewtie, i agwee wif you, auntie Juli's pwiowities awe gweat
    She also had a watew bowl fow me wight away.
    Mommi is just at the beginning of hew painting dooties, ummm, she sowt of put it off,when it was soopew hot, she said the paint didn't behave. She'll have about one thiwd old paintings in the show and two thiwds new..ummm, the mistew said he wanted hew to do "happy paintings". Yoo must undewstand, this goes against Mommi's natoowal instincts, so we'll see.......
    I'll let you see them if they evew get done
    Smoochie kisses

  13. Shoot - it's thundering again and mama is yelling at us to go unplug the laptop. So quickly: do you have a pet passport so you could go to the Continent and you'd be allowed back on British soil without having to spend weeks and weeks in quarantine? If not, why don't you get one so Gail will have no excuses not to take you the next time she travels abroad?

    Our desktop computer with all our photos died and we couldn't enter any of the Pawlympic Events, so lazy procrastinating mama didn't even get around to helping Abby enter your bouncing event. We're so disgruntled. Maybe we can all run away from home together - after dinner, of course.

    Jed & Abby

  14. Bertie,
    If you want to come to hide out here for a bit it might make your Mommy miss you. Let me know if you want to come. When you return, she'll be so glad your back.
    Sally Ann and Andy

  15. That Gail is a piece of work Bertie
    Benny & Lily

  16. Bertie, it is always amazing to me that excuses our humans come up with. Do they think we are that stupid?? The photos of her journey are really beautiful, but I think Gail is a bit selfish when it comes to you Bertie. I hope you can rectify this in the future. I can't stand to think of you being unhappy.

    Loveys Sasha

  17. Bertie, the abuse is unending. How could she?