Friday, 20 July 2012

Dreaming of the yellow jersey?

I have been watching the Tour de France on TV a lot these past three weeks. Not my choice you understand, but it's what you get when your owner is a big cycling enthusiast.

So anyway I have a question.

How is is that in the Tour, staging a successful 'breakaway' from the peloton (see, I have mastered the jargon) is considered a brave and impressive achievement, but when I copy this strategy in the woods near Aberdeen, my actions meet with strong condemnation and threats of 'grounding'?

OK, I admit that my breakaway yesterday afternoon was inspired by an instinct to chase deer (again) rather than by an ambition to wear the maillot jaune. But that aside, I see very little difference.

Had messrs Wiggins, Froome, Millar or Cavendish managed to race ahead out of sight and stay away for two and a half hours before being reunited with their pack, I think Gail would have been leaping about with excitement, in a good way.

In fact she was, apparently, leaping about a lot when I made the break (she even phoned her friends Yvonne and Neil after about an hour) but, it seems, this was not at all a good sort of excitement...

Even the greatest of cyclists can tire of the solo ride, and likewise eventually I did start missing Gail's company and tried to find my way back to her. I had to bark a lot so she could find me in the lush undergrowth (not, I think, a problem ever encountered by Lance Armstrong).

Can you believe that later, what Gail seemed most upset about was that she'd missed the ITV4 highlights of the final Pyrenean stage of the Tour?


  1. Bertie a yellow jersey would really look good on you and you deserve one after your break-away. Have a happy Friday to you and yours.
    Best wishes Molly

  2. Thats a very great observation Bertie, you showed daring and initiative and as a tour de france fan Gail should have seen this. Unfortunately our human companions tend to want to keep us tied to the apron strings a bit

    urban hounds

  3. All these double standards...... and how they are twisted upon you little buddy!! I think Gail can be so unfair.

    Tail Wuggles, Rubie xxx

  4. Peeps are so hard to udnerstand sometimes. MAybe you need a yellow jersey when you decide to break free!

  5. Hey Bertie Bud,
    I agree...this doesn't make sense at all. My peep watches the Tour too, but whenever I try and join her pack in front of the teevee (heater), she fights me for position.
    My suggestion...we should get the peeps to stop watching that funny box. How?

  6. Humans have SUCH a double standard sometimes!

  7. Bertie, Maybe if you were wearing a yellow jersey when you raced off into the woods chasing deer your mum would be able to follow you better. She should give it a try.


  8. Darling boy, Excuse me for a moment ARCHIE QUICK MORE SMELLING SALTS...ok I am back ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? YOU WENT AFTER A DEER?( we can talk about the bikes, chocolate, Picasso card and the not taking you on the trip how dare she ,later)A DEER? A DEER? Darling you of course DID NOT READ CHAPTER SIX TOO WELL...Listen rats,mice,voles,rabbits,possums, ground hogs FOX otters...NOT DEER oh I need the salts... THEY CAN HAVE GIANT HORNS ON THEIR HEAD ... A rat dear boy is much easier...We leave the bigger prey to the bigger boys........ AND PLEASE REREAD THAT CHAPTER..... Oh Archie PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop playing the tuba... ERic told him he could play it opening day of the Olympics....... Love a somewhat distraught Agatha and her tuba playing brother.....

  9. Uhhh, Bertie? I once had a Mini Schnauzer who liked to chase horses in a field adjoining our house, and thats bad enough, but big things with horns? Very foolish, Bertie, very!

    If you don't start being a little careful, Gail will have a big cage built for you, and thats where you will stay.


  10. I just Don't have a CLUE about these PEEPs... they are so difficult to figure. I suppose it stems from the fact that they don't even have a CLUE about how to Communicate.. NOT one bit good at leaving PeeMail. If you get my drift.

  11. OMD...A DEER??????!!!!!
    Dude, I go after bunnies, nailed a squirrel butt DEER???? No way!!! You my HERO!

  12. we must go look up the jargon before we answer
    Benny & Lily

  13. Bicycles are the devil's work, Bertie! Deccy x

  14. Nice try, Bertie....ha ha

    Wyatt and Stanzie

  15. chasing deer? Sounds like fun! Where me lives, there is
    not many deers around here... :(

  16. You is brave and smart, your people just no has an understanding for that I thinks. Sometimes I chases chickens and disappears and my mama gets an angry. I no has an idea why, I is just being brave....

  17. I am impressed that you tried to chase a deer.

    My MOTH is always glued to the Tour De France every year. There was a LOT of shouting of excitement from him as he watched the final this afternoon (I lolloped off to join the LOTH in the kitchen out of the way).

    Love and licks, Winnie

  18. Bewtie
    I will fuwwevew be mystefied by the double standawd of ouw hoomans. I think what you did wa s bold and electwifying move and should have satisfied Gai's thiwst fow excitement.

    I just know you woold get that jeune jewsey if it wewe a faiw wowld, but alas......
    Howevew, ouw upcoming pawlympics should pwove yoow winning ways
    (sadly, Mommi did NOT entew me in yoow most impawtant even, mumbling something about english not being hew native language , blah , blah, blah. Ywoof is, she just doesn't know how to wite nawwative, ow poetwy, ow haiku ow anything..and I'm the victim of hew ignowant ways
    Smoochie kisses

  19. Bertie, first may I say you look stunning in your bandana on your header. Next I think that we all have a different beat that draws us and we don't always have control of it when out in nature. It is your natural instinct to follow that beat. I hope Gail will soon understand this and allow you your freedom. I know you will always come back, at least in time for dinner, right?

    Loveys Sasha

  20. Are we correct in understanding that you have TWICE been off-leash in the space of a few days and have taken the opportunities to chase deer? Well, Gail has no one but herself to blame for the second episode ['fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me'], so what is her rationale for getting her knickers in a twist like it's your fault? Surely your therapist neighbor has told her past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior? Talk about a slow learning curve, which we expect you to take full advantage of, being as your off-leash days are probably going to be curtailed sooner or later.

    Jed & Abby