Saturday, 3 December 2011

Bertie WFTer the Christmas Fairy ?

An invitation dropped through the email earlier in the week. It has caused great consternation in this household.

"Christmas is coming. I hope you are all getting your fancy dress costumes ready for your four legged friend! The Deeside Dog Agility Club agility Christmas party is at Drumforskie Barn on Monday 12 December 2011 from 7pm. There will be a fancy dress competition plus agility games for you to try. Each game will be suitable for everyone and needless to say they will be lots of fun. Unfortunately so that every member can join in, dog numbers are restricted to one dog per handler for the evening. We would ask if everyone would take with them a Secret Santa present (up to approx £5 value), a raffle prize for our HUGE raffle, something for the buffet and of course loads of money to buy raffle tickets!! (Presents/raffles can be for either human or dogs!).  Deeside provides soft drinks for those who are unfortunately driving - or too young - but if you wish to have some alcohol, please take your own.  It is always a really good night."

How is it that so short a paragraph could contain by implication so many patently absurd suggestions? For example, the notion that I could be persuaded to wear any kind of a costume, and not rip it to shreds in the two mile car ride 'twixt home and Drumforskie Barn. Or indeed the idea that Gail's limited creative powers might stretch to devising a fancy dress outfit anyway, much less one that is compatible with 'agility games'. Or the thought that I am likely to cooperate calmly in an event that takes place in a big barn full of hyperactive collies, terriers, poodles and the like, with food and drink available and raffle prizes to be torn apart.

Oh and one thing I am not clear about. Am I allowed my own alcohol or am I too young?

PS from Gail: HELP!!! Any ideas for Bertie-proof costumes gratefully received.....


  1. Hi Bertie and Gail, a little idea for you that was a great hit at Christmas from the peeps and pups alike - get your hands on a Xmas collar - just a fabric with appropriate colour such as red or gold with a channel that you can thread elastic. This year I found a rich green velvet with white stars printed on. You can then embellish with little pom poms of other suitable colour. Only if this would prove Bertie proof. Essentially its a pop over fabric collar that the dogs didn't mind at all.

    Good luck, Rubie's mum.

  2. A decorative collar is the solution for dogs who prefer not to dress up. A dapper chap such as yourself is plenty festive without having to don body constricting outfits.

    I sure hope one of the games is "find the rat."


  3. Go as a South African...
    au naturelle...BOL!

  4. Bertie - Dogs dressing up ? Have you left Aberdeen and gone to Glasow ?

  5. I am the wrong one to ask, but if there is a costume involved, then one can definitely be expected to imbibe!

  6. Festive Collar... or Collar Cover.. OR a SMALL Bandanna.

    NO Bertie... sorry buddy no Alcohol fur us fur folks.

    Holly Daze are kinda hard on us, right?

  7. We agree with the festive collar idea. Ours, in red and green, were knitted by a kind dog-loving friend. They just pop over our necks and hide our regular collars and we don't mind at all. Somehow we do not see our pal Bertie in a "fancy dress" get-up. (Nor, we might add, do we see Gail in one either BOL!!)

    Wirey woofs of empathy and concern<

    Jake and Just Harry

  8. Yep, Bertie, we just have regular collars that are red and black plaid. Ruby's has a little flower on it, but not mine!! You'll be fine. Costumes.... right.


  9. Yuppy puppy....a collar might work...or a bow tie. OR....MAYBE YOU COULD GO AS A....FOX TERROR (Yes, I said TERROR). BWHahahahaha

  10. Hi Bertie, we agree. Perhaps a festive collar, but only after being rewarded with lots of treats just for agreeing to take part. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

  11. hey Bertie,

    Sorry I can't help. Like you, I am not a dressing-up kind of pup. My beauty needs no embellishing. BOL!

    I think the invite sounds like loads of fun. Wish I could attend! I like the ideas of the collar, and then just make it very festive. Perhaps a string of Christmas lights around the collar - that would be pawsome! And Gail can get a bag of green-red-white Peppermint swirl hard candies, then lick one side and stick it onto your fur, all over your body. [K here - Suka is just teasing you, Bertie. Don't put hard candy all over your fur.]

    Good luck, and enjoy! Can't wait to see the pictures and read all about the fun event! And Bertie, drink up! Just get a fake ID. ;->


    p.s. pawsome dog bed!

  12. Be very careful what Gail does to make you look festive Bertie. My humans once went to a Christmas party, where thier friends had decorated their long furred white cat with non-toxic food colouring so the cat (who refused to wear clothes) was green and red! None of that brush out hair colouring, that people use for parties, back then - the cat remained coloured like a moving Christmas decoration for ages.

    I also remember my first agility party, where the relay race game was the human had to run with their dog holding a leash win one hand, and a full wine glass (or water glass) in the other hand while the dog jumped over hurdles. The aim was to not spill wine which they thought was more important than the style with which I jumped the hurdles. How much wine did my humans really need?


  13. Oh for you manly dogs it would seem that a fancy collar would be the way to go.

    How on earth are the pups supposed to do agility all dressed up? Well, at least if you wear a fancy collar you will have a heads up on ALL the competition who are wearing fancy outfits! BOL

    woos, Tessa

  14. Yep, I would say a nice collar or a christmasy scarf. Have fun and ENJOY the party Bertie!!

    Jazzi and Addy

  15. Have you considered a suit of armour? It would seem to solve most problems, but probably not the agility.... Deccy x

  16. Hi Bertie

    I'd go with the collar - enough to show that you are participating in the festive season but not too much to annoy you - like you, I'm not into dressing up (I have even put up a fight over wearing a simple rain coat - even when it's been lashing rain outside!) but the Xmas collar would be cool!


  17. What about a festive bandana? That way you get to keep your street cred!

    Good luck!

    Big Nose POkes
    The Thugletsx

  18. Tartan collar, Bertie! Even though Gail is a Sassenach, you're Scottish through and through so you must have a claim on some festive tartan. And if you get a tartan collar, you can frugally reuse it on other, non-Christmas occassions requiring you to dress up. Like the Queen's birthday and such. Eschew the hard stuff, young Bertie. Stick with water. You may have to be the designated driver, after all.

    Jed & Abby

  19. You can borrow my camel costume if you like.

    You're probably not that desperate are you? No-one is.

    Love and licks, Winnie

  20. Hey Bertie,
    We saw these red and green collars at the grocery store of all places. Really cute ones with elastic. They looked like Elf neckware with pointed edges and bells. You could be an elf, right?
    Have fun!

    Wyatt and Stanzie