An invitation dropped through the email earlier in the week. It has caused great consternation in this household.
"Christmas is coming. I hope you are all getting your fancy dress costumes ready for your four legged friend! The Deeside Dog Agility Club agility Christmas party is at Drumforskie Barn on Monday 12 December 2011 from 7pm. There will be a fancy dress competition plus agility games for you to try. Each game will be suitable for everyone and needless to say they will be lots of fun. Unfortunately so that every member can join in, dog numbers are restricted to one dog per handler for the evening. We would ask if everyone would take with them a Secret Santa present (up to approx £5 value), a raffle prize for our HUGE raffle, something for the buffet and of course loads of money to buy raffle tickets!! (Presents/raffles can be for either human or dogs!). Deeside provides soft drinks for those who are unfortunately driving - or too young - but if you wish to have some alcohol, please take your own. It is always a really good night."
How is it that so short a paragraph could contain by implication so many patently absurd suggestions? For example, the notion that I could be persuaded to wear any kind of a costume, and not rip it to shreds in the two mile car ride 'twixt home and Drumforskie Barn. Or indeed the idea that Gail's limited creative powers might stretch to devising a fancy dress outfit anyway, much less one that is compatible with 'agility games'. Or the thought that I am likely to cooperate calmly in an event that takes place in a big barn full of hyperactive collies, terriers, poodles and the like, with food and drink available and raffle prizes to be torn apart.
Oh and one thing I am not clear about. Am I allowed my own alcohol or am I too young?
PS from Gail: HELP!!! Any ideas for Bertie-proof costumes gratefully received.....
Hi, I'm Bertie, a wire-haired fox terrier pup. I live with Gail in Aberdeen, Scotland. An old Westie called Hamish used to live here but he died on 18th February 2010 (exactly the same day I was born). People tell me that he used to have a blog and that I have big pawprints to fill. That's a bit too much responsibility for a very young puppy - and anyway, I intend to make my own mark!
(Gail says that Hamish could certainly have taught me a thing or two about marking stuff....)