As related by Gail, to Bertie, upon her recent return from Lapland.
A Christmas Cautionary Tale
Oh Bertie, I am so relieved
To be safe home with you.
My trip to Lapland’s made me see
So many things anew.
I’d always had this fantasy
To visit Santa Claus's home
And ride upon a jingling sleigh,
Pulled by reindeer, noses glowing.
Who knew that reindeer were so wild
And sometimes lose their way?
When lastly we found Santa’s lair,
A sign said ‘Grotto closed today’.
Just two of Santa’s helper elves
Were still on site, one fat one thin.
Oh please, please, please, I cried, oh please
You have to let me in!
“You’re late, the thin one sternly squeaked
And then the chubby elf said
“I’m sorry pal, you’ll have to leave
‘Cos Santa Claus has gone to bed.”
And won't be up now 'til next year.
He's done with all this Christmas stuff,
He can't compete with Amazon,
Those reindeer are not fast enough.
Such bitter disillusion Bert!
This was not what I had in mind.
I did not travel North to meet
A frosty welcome of this kind.
I'm so relieved to be back home
From Lapland. I feel so much merrier
Sat on the sofa, snug and warm
Besides my dear wire-haired fox terrier.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL!