Friday, 12 February 2016

Gravity Waves inspire Valentine Verse

A love poem dedicated to my sweetheart Addi, and inspired by the recent and thrilling announcement that gravity waves have finally been detected, a century after Albert Einstein first predicted their existence:


by Bouncing Bertie Boffin

When I think of you Addi, so large yet so sweet
My heart starts a pounding. It will not behave
In the regular way. So strong are its beats
I believe I've produced gravitational waves.

These faint fluctuations will surely distort
The space-time continuum betwixt you and me.
I know you will feel them; a lass of your sort
Has the requisite fine sensitivity. 

In my mind I imagine old Einstein is smiling
His forecasts are all now proved right.
And you dearest Addi, I find most beguiling;
So massive, so dense and so white.

PS  Gosh I am so excited about joining Addi on our unique Blogville Valentine's Day Parade float on Sunday 14th Feb.

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

They do things differently in Edinburgh...

It is possible that life in our capital city Edinburgh is not all that it's cracked up to be.

Initially I was quite envious of Labradoodle Lily, who belongs to one of Gail's book group friends, when I heard that she and her family are moving away from Aberdeen and going to live in a nice flat in Edinburgh New Town (that's 'new' as in only about 200 years old).

I looked on the map and saw that there is a lovely park, Queen Street Gardens, right by the flat. I even found a photo on the internet.

Won't that be a splendid place for Lily to run around in, I said to Gail.

But Gail responded that life for Lily in Edinburgh would not be so simple. First of all, access to the gardens is only open to a restricted number of local property owners, and there is a waiting list. Worse, there is a SEPARATE WAITING LIST FOR DOGS.

Gail went on to say that Lily would probably have to pass an exam before gaining a key to the park, demonstrating her knowledge of acceptable social behaviour in the Edinburgh canine context, and may be blackballed by 'The Committee' anyway on account of being a non-traditional breed (the horror!) who does not attend the right doggie creche or high end grooming parlour...

OK, I think Gail was kidding me about the exam business etc, possibly having read one too many of Alexander McCall Smith's 'Scotland Street' novels.

But I have decided anyway I am quite content with life in Aberdeen.

Sunday, 7 February 2016

Sherlock Bones?

Our lovely Shetland sheep owning friend Julia emailed us a new knitting pattern.

Gail said it looked a bit complicated, but I disagreed.

"Elementary, dear Gail".

Now where's my pipe?

Thursday, 4 February 2016

Nosiness or intelligent curiosity?


Gail, on Sunday, when we left the nature reserve and walked down into Collieston village, you put on my lead, although there was no traffic around. This is not the first time I have noticed you do this, although I am at a loss to understand why. Can you please explain?

Oh Bertie, I'm sure a clever chap like you can work it out. You are just too nosy. When we come close to houses, you always want to run off to explore the gardens, and more than once you have ignored my shouts, made a beeline for an open front door and invited yourself inside. 

Well of course, one always likes to investigate new places. What you so sniffily call being 'nosy', I would categorise as evidence of a lively curiosity, which surely is a good thing?

But Bertie, it is at best embarrassing when I have to retrieve you after you've entered someone else's property without permission. And, although it's true we don't live in America and it is unlikely anyone here would go after you with a gun (unless perhaps you were on a farm and worrying the livestock), it would be very understandable if the property owner became irate and started shouting at me, and you.

Gail, you may be right in theory, but in practice it has never happened like that has it? On the contrary, my distinct impression is that people are delighted and amused by my impromptu visits, and my friendly fuzzy-faced presence has brought a little ray of sunshine to many an otherwise dull existence. Really what is embarrassing is having you go all, "sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry, I promise it won't happen again, Bertie you are such a naughty dog", when I have just provided the householder best entertainment they've enjoyed all week.

Er, yes Bertie, up to a point. But may I introduce you to the concept of not pushing one's luck…..?