Monday, 26 January 2015

I'm not looking scruffy, am I?


We are still down in Nottingham and I want to report a conversation between Gail and her mother's 'help' Christine*, as overheard on Friday.

"Oh Christine, by the way, are you still working at the dog grooming parlour? How is that going?"

"Yes, I'm still there two mornings a week, helping wash and dry the dogs. I really enjoy it but business has been a bit slack lately."

(At this point I can hear the cogs in Gail's brain whirring.)

"Hmm. So. Do they do hand stripping there?"

(I think you can tell where this is heading).

"Oh yes, they do all that. Is Bertie stripped?"

"Yes I do it myself, rather amateurishly, as you can tell. I'm afraid he's looking very scruffy at the moment and I can no longer see his eyes. But I haven't the time or the tools down here to tidy him up. I am wondering if they could give him a good grooming at your place?"

(What! I have never ever been to a professional groomer before!! Please please please Christine, tell Gail they don't do bouncy wire-haired fox terriers!!!)

"Oh yes, I'm sure they'd be delighted to have him in. I'll find out when they have a slot." 

There followed a long and detailed conversation about my grooming needs. "Absolutely no scissors on the black patch, doesn't minds his tail being stripped, sensitive underbelly, neat ears and beard etc. etc." Gail then turns to me:

"So Bertie, you'll be all smart and trim for your upcoming VERY SPECIAL Valentine date with Addi. Won't that be nice?"

"BUT ADDI LIKES ME THE WAY I AM!" 



*PS from Gail: I don't think Christine reads this blog, but I want to sing her praises as she has been such a star in helping me care for my mother. In difficult circumstances one finds out who the truly kind, generous and effective people are, and Christine has proved worth her weight in gold. So I am more than happy to help bring some custom to her other business. Bertie is now booked in for 2nd February. It will be interesting to see what they make of him and he of them...

Friday, 23 January 2015

Brusqueness etc.

Oh dear, I made a terrible mistake in my last post.

There has been such a lot going on here in Nottingham lately.

Normally, I pride myself on my clear and unambiguous writing style (unless ambiguity is intended of course).

Anyway, several of my dear readers thought I was saying that my poor dear Human Granny was being 'brusque' in telling me to get out of the way, when in fact it was Gail who has been failing a bit in the politeness department this past week.

Gail has apologised and explained that she is not really cross with me; in fact I am apparently "a much needed source of comfort and entertainment". Rather, she is upset because Human Granny has suddenly become very ill due to what the doctors call 'Parkinsonism', perhaps made worse by a small stroke, and moving even the smallest distance is such a struggle for her now.

Friends, thank you so much for all your supportive comments, and please be aware I haven't forgotten you and neither has Gail. But for the next few weeks you'll understand that our focus will be elsewhere.

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Update on Human Granny and other Nottinghamshire stuff

(The white speck in the distance is Bertie)

Well now that Gail and I are staying again with Human Granny, I wanted to tell you about my walks in Nottinghamshire, where the landscape is dominated not, as in most of Scotland, by mountains, but by electricity pylons. I thought you might be interested to know all about how a third of the country's electricity is generated in the Trent Valley/Humber estuary area…*

But Gail says she thinks my readers are more concerned about Human Granny and will want to know how she is.

Oh dear. It is not good news I'm afraid. She can't seem to move properly any more, but the doctors are not sure what the problem is. She also seems a bit confused. When ever I try to help, I am told (sometimes rather brusquely) to get out of the way. Another doctor is coming today, and it may be that HGY will be admitted to hospital. Gail says we may be  down here for a while.

At least I might get a chance to tell you more about the pylons then!


*This 'fact' comes from Gail's 1975 'O' level Geography text book, so may not be strictly up to date...

Friday, 16 January 2015

The perfect storm?

Us dogs always know when something is up, don't we?

My familiar routine was disrupted this week when Gail came home from work early on Wednesday and started rushing around making lots of phone calls, packing bags and generally acting fraught.

We did go to Agility Club as usual that evening, where I was feeling full of bounce, despite Gail's apparently distracted state.

But when I woke up on Thursday morning, my paw was hurting REALLY BADLY and I absolutely did not want to walk further than the nearest lamppost.

I lifted up my paw and gave Gail my best pity party look, but instead of being all sympathetic (like she usually is) Gail just looked at me and said. "Oh no Bertie, this is such bad timing!"

So there was a hastily arranged visit to vet, where Ashley, my favourite vet lady, gently examined my left paw and the words "inter-digital cyst" and "antibiotics" featured in the ensuing conversation between her and Gail.

Then instead of being taken home to rest I was bundled into the car and we drove a very long way indeed.

The weather was truly horrid. I'd like to make a pun about gales and Gails, but from the way my precious human was gripping the steering wheel in an effort to stay on the motorway, as torrential rain lashed the windscreen of the wind-buffeted car, I suspect any jokes about the Scottish weather would not be appreciated.

Rain turned to heavy snow as we crossed the Pennines and still we drove on.

It dawned on me that we were on the way to Human Granny's house, which seemed odd as we'd only returned from there less than three weeks ago.

We finally arrived in Nottingham and, oh dear, I am so sorry to report that my beloved HGY is not at all well.

I fear Gail might not have much time to assist me with my blog for the next week or so.