Gail's musings in St James's Park, London

Thank heavens I have a free hour before my meeting…a morning walk is so important for one's sanity…I do wish Bertie were here too….oh look what a cute Lhasa Apso…I wonder if Bertie misses me as much as I miss him…my what a lot of grey squirrels thrive in Central London….and ducks, geese, swans, gulls and, of course, pigeons…now I see a husky, poor creature, I don't think this is the right place for him…the London air smells sour this morning... not even the Queen over there in Buckingham Palace can escape it… now, we have a sparky wee terrier….and a rather sad looking golden lab…what a lot of leaves on the ground just now...I do hope Dad had a comfy night in hospital...and now this is exactly the place where I once nearly cycled into the then Foreign Secretary (Douglas Hurd) en route to work…can't spot any politicians I recognise this morning…but it's Bertie's happy, eager little face I really want to see…

Image from internet

Email from Cousin Cocoa Standard Poodle

No soon as I'd clicked 'publish' on my last post, than I received this email, care of Gail:

Dear Cousin Bertie, 

Re: your recent visit

I hate to rain on your parade and all that, but I am wondering why no-one asked me to contribute to the 360º appraisal you published so brazenly on your blog on Wednesday. 

Most assuredly, I would NOT have awarded you full marks based on your behaviour when you came to stay with me and my brother Percy for a couple of nights a short while ago. 

I expect you were thinking that, because I am a relative newcomer to the set up, I would not venture to voice an opinion. How wrong you were.

Let me say I for one am quite happy you are now over three hundred miles away and not, I hope, planning a return visit any time soon. 

Imagine, readers, there's me, recently rescued from an endless round of pregnancies in a Norfolk puppy farm, just settling into my new Peak District home, getting a feel for the place, learning how to deal with my huge sibling Percy Poodle and generally working hard to adjust to a different routine, when along comes this wee whippersnapper of a wire haired fox terrier, bouncing around and growling at me all the time in an incomprehensible Scottish accent.

Oh yes and then there was the small matter of the night-time pooping on the kitchen floor, wasn't there Bertie?

Ten out of ten? I think not.

I am going to recommend that Gail holds the marshmallows and duck jerky a while longer. 

Yours faithfully, 
Cocoa. 

Really. Who knew my new cousin was such a little tell tale?

PS from Gail: Human resources professionals worldwide, take note. These last two posts of Bertie's provide an excellent example of how even the most supposedly objective methods of performance review are subject to bias and manipulation...

360 degree appraisal

Crowded train on Sunday evening

By the River Trent

Change at York Station

Street scene in Edinburgh

My performance on my recent and unexpectedly extended trip down south has been appraised from all angles, and found to be 100% satisfactory (see below):

Where's my treat then?

Brian Cox: not cuter than me, surely?

Well it has been quite a week down here in England.

So in an intermission between visiting HGD in hospital, Gail disappeared off to London on business for two days. I went to stay with my cousins, standard poodles Percy and Cocoa in their beautiful Derbyshire farmhouse and I can't pretend it was all bad, even if Percy is a wee bit bossy and I was banned from chasing sheep in the fields nearby.

Really I could have stayed longer. In fact I nearly asked to go back there, when I heard what Gail had to say about her London trip.

I mean I thought she was going down for important meetings, but oh no, she came back babbling like a starstruck schoolgirl.

"Oh Bertie, we had such an exciting meal out on Wednesday night. I went with my colleagues, all geophysicists and engineers, to a Chinese restaurant near Victoria Station and can you believe who was at the table next to us? Brian Cox*, Eric Idle** and James Dyson***, all on the same table! Gosh we were so thrilled. I mean Brian Cox looked and acted exactly like on TV. Even the gestures. I like to think they were planning to write a comic song about quantum energy levels in vacuum cleaners or something. Oh Brian Cox is just so cute and adorable...."

It was a long time before she got around to saying that she'd missed me.

Explanation for readers based outside of the UK:
*Brian Cox: physics professor, presenter of brilliant science programmes on TV, ex-pop star, heart throb!
**Eric Idle: ex Monty Python, of course.
***James Dyson: inventor of the Dyson bagless vacuum cleaner and much else.


PS from Gail: against the odds HGD has rallied, still in hospital but he was sitting up and gave me a big smile when I visited yesterday.