Weekend afternoon, Scotland, late February

I don't want to watch the rugby, I just want a cuddle.

By the way, fellow pups, please be careful whom you cuddle. Not all humans are deserving of your affection...

WFT photography 101

It is important not to position your terrier in front of a splodge of similarly coloured lichen. No matter how fine and alert his stance.

That's a bit better.

To be honest, it hasn't so far been a great weekend for photography in Torridon, being mostly overcast and damp. This remnant rainbow picture does at least give you a realistic idea of the prevailing conditions. 

Oh yes, and this is the point on our Saturday walk when I decided I'd had enough of tramping around on a slippery mountain path in the sleet.

Thankfully my owner was of the same mind, and so we retreated to the warmth of the cottage where I allowed Gail to practice her Pilates balance work while simultaneously rubbing my belly with her loose foot and listening to the rugby on the radio (and of course taking a photo), thus displaying her hitherto well-concealed multi-tasking capabilities...

PS England 38: Scotland 38. This WFT says WTF !!!

Scottish rugby fans everywhere are celebrating...

Apparently I am not allowed to gloat too much, 'cos I live with an Englishwoman, but...

.......WE WON!!!! 

Scotland 25 - England 13
24 February 2018, Murrayfield.

A Calcutta Cup Crisis!

Gail, the England versus Scotland rugby match is starting in half an hour and you have not yet found my Scotland flag bandana. This is terrible! I fear it will bring the Scotland team bad luck if I cannot make my support visible. Please look again, you must have put it somewhere.

Oh Bertie I am so sorry, I have searched high and low and I cannot find the Saltire pattern neckerchief anywhere. How about you put on one of your other bandanas?  They are all very smart. 

You are totally missing the point Gail! None of those bandanas is remotely fit for the occasion, quite obviously.

Well perhaps you're right Bertie. Oh but look what I've found in the clothing bag. Your pretty pink frock! For some reason you have not worn it lately. This is perfect for the rugby, don't you think? 

 Gail, you are teasing me, and it is SO NOT FUNNY. Look, here's my old tartan scarf. I guess I'll have to make do with that.

Now let's turn on the telly, so I can bark along with the anthem.

"O Flower of Scotland,
When will we see
Your like again,
That fought and died for,
Your wee bit Hill and Glen,
And stood against him,
Proud Edward's Army,
And sent him homeward,
Tae think again."

COME ON SCOTLAND!

Two hours later...

England 61 Scotland 21.
Oh dear. If only I been wearing the bandana...

Watching the rugby

England play Scotland at Twickenham. Against all expectations, Scotland lead at half time. Bertie prepares for a tense forty minutes…

Drama, drama, drama! (A weekend exchange of emails)

Saturday 9th March
Subject: Missing you 

Hi Bertie,

Boy am I missing you here in Nottingham. Won't be flying down again until the airline starts letting dogs on board. Without you to cuddle and to give me an excuse to escape the house for a walk every morning, I feel quite the grumpy old woman. But Human Granny and Grandad send you hugs. Sometimes I think they'd rather it was you who came to visit and me who stayed behind in Aberdeen.

Anyway, here is a photo of HGD watching the rugby on TV.

I don't think he knows any longer which country plays in blue and which in green, nor who is winning, but at least he settles down in his favourite chair and seems happy enough experiencing the familiar pattern of action. Unlike last night when I tried to view Crufts - it was the toy dog judging - and he became all agitated and kept asking "Gail, what are we going to do about this?" Maybe he would have preferred to see the terrier class.

Oh and another reason I wish you were with us. Do you remember how on your last visit to Nottingham you were busy inspecting the hole under the hedge by which the badgers had entered the garden?

And how you vowed to scare away the invaders to prevent them from digging up HGD's once so lovingly tended lawn?

Well the bad news is that Mr Brock and his gang have been back on the rampage and the grass is even more messed up than ever.

Anyway, I am sure you won't be worrying too much about that while you are 400 miles away and being treated royally by Marie-Thérèse and by Jakey's Mum and Dad in my absence.

Looking forward SO MUCH to seeing you tomorrow night.

Love and cuddles,
Gail.



Sunday 10th March
Subject: Drama, drama, drama!

Hi Gail,

Wow Gail you have NO IDEA what excitement we had on our street yesterday morning!

Never mind the badgers!

I'm sure that Jake's Mum will tell you all about how I protected her and Jake's Dad from a drunken but harmless inadequate highly dangerous criminal whom they found hiding in the back of their car. And how Jake and I were put on guard duty while the police were summoned. You can guess how this evil man was terrified into submission after I barked and barked and barked at him. Really, Jake might be bigger than me, but I think we all know who can sound the more ferocious.

I understand that rewards are often given for heroic acts of valour. A medal or something. So far, I have to say, I have not received a even a gravy bone for my considerable efforts. Perhaps, on your flight back, you could think about how to remedy this......

Oh yes and that was a very nice photo of HGD, but I might just point out it would have been greatly improved had a certain exceptionally brave fox terrier been lying there and warming poor HGD's always cold feet.

Just a thought.

Toodle pip!
Bertie.

The tension mounts (a house divided)

So, now that I am back from my morning walk with my friend Sheila, I am going to explain to those of you unfamiliar with certain aspects of British culture, why tomorrow will be a tense day in the Bertie-Gail household.

It's all because of the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand. Scotland are playing England for a place in the quarter finals at 8:30 am, our time.

Now of course, being a typical Scot, my sporting interest revolves around a passionate desire to see England beaten. By absolutely anyone, anywhere, any time. But especially of course by Scotland.

Well, as you all know, the English are arrogant, smug, over-bearing, uptight, need I go on?

The tricky thing is that Gail is actually English. So long as she keeps her mouth shut, I can pretend otherwise. After all, she is pale-skinned and a bit freckly, not that arrogant, and the longer she stays in Aberdeen the more moths fly out on the rare occasions she opens her purse to buy me a treat... She fits in quite well here. But then she gives it all away the minute she calls out "Buh-tie", not "Bearrr-tie" when I am running around in the park. The shame.

And you know what REALLY GETS MY GOAT!!!

To hear Gail going round saying, in those oh so patronising English tones, things like "well I do like to see the Scotland team do well, on the whole, even though I basically support England".

Grrrrhhh. Can you hear me gnashing my teeth?

So Saturday morning could turn into a right stramash. Forget about being nice to the convalescent.

PS From Gail: 
Q: How do you spot a well-balanced Scotsman/dog? 
A: They'll have a chip on both shoulders.